In our modern era, where etiquette and propriety are of utmost importance, M. Chariot's (Adult) Language of Flowers is the perfect Floral Guidebook for the Romantic Gentleperson.
The practice of attaching sentiment to flower was most certainly not invented by this lovelorn author! Indeed, the ancient Greeks, Orientals and Victorians discovered and developed the floral communiqué centuries ago. M. Chariot has only troweled deeply into the original science to upheave the more floriographic translation - for the person of sophisticated breeding.
When the elegant gentleman or lady truly understands the adult symbolism behind various flowers, shrubberies and plants, a bouquet of blossoms and leaves may be selected and arranged so as to express the most complex and sophisticated feeling - a floral poem, as it were. While the bouquet might convey several thoughts, a single flower or leaf transmits a more exclusive message. And take note, dear reader: any article scented with a particular flower - such as a lace handkerchief, a torsolette, a glove or a letter on parchment - can have considerable effect!
At my tiny salon in The City Of The Angels, a pleasant evening's diversion is achieved by setting aside an hour for the floral conversation. Guests select blossoms from a scattered assortment to transmit their subtlest thoughts and feelings. Thereafter Love frequently blooms!
Sweet flowers alone can say what passion fears revealing.
- Thomas Hood, The Language of Flowers
M. Chariot's (Adult) Language of Flowers
Aster
Were I less refined I should throw myself at you!
Bachelor Button
My celibacy is threatened by desperate longings!
Cyclamen
To Hell with you, my Darling! Goodbye forever!
Diosma
Your simple elegance drives me mad with aphrodisia!
Eupatorium
Obsessed, I shall stalk you to the end of time!
My fascination with you has me thinking the unthinkable!
I am shocked by subtle homosexual feelings!
Stop playing games you rash creature!
Anxiety permeates my every thought of you!
Your sensual depravity leaves me trembling with desire!
I am captivated by your intellectual beauty!
You have humiliated me!
My love for you endangers us both!
Your heel digs deep into my beating heart!
Mature charms make me swoon!
My darling only you can soothe this madness!
My desire for you leaves me horribly agitated!
I am dazzled by your discreet witticisms!
A passionate love between strangers in the night!
You inhabit my dreams - and my nightmares!
Fantasies of you leave me drunk with lust!
Your glamour and allure have cast a spell on me!
My soul is healed by your erotic attentions!
Though you've escaped, I think only of you!
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
scottcvoss
the_beheld
Authenticity
Foolish Monkey
Procopius
Susie Lindau
Salon.com
Comments
(she has ever such a nice personality..)
Nero Wolfe would say: Satisfactory, no very satisfactory! Rated, happy valentine's sir!
Lovely.
The rose..? Or perhaps not in polite company...
If you love someone
put their name in a circle,
not a heart,
because hearts can be broken
but circles go on forever!
- Unknown
Once again, you've provided me with both entertainment and an education, M. Chariot.
Thank you for the labor you undertook in preparing this Guidebook for the OS family. The accompanying quote from Thomas Hood is priceless.
“Nous comprenons la Nature en lui résistant.” -Gaston Bachelard
Rated
On a different note, I've been given bouquets of jasmine in the past. Knowing now what it means, was he being sarcastic with flowers? Can flowers be sarcastic?
Thank you monsieur.
Except for grass; not that there is anything wrong with that!
Tres bien, M.
Merci beaucoup.
I had my "wuman" "cent" sum of dem red flairs that smells good two day. She luv 'em.
:-D
(rated)
Happy Valentine's day
Naturally, an orchid would be adventurous and passionate and yes... mature. No shrinking violet she.
Star wort, I'm sorry, but I'm NOT into romance with spiders!
And Monkshood... well, only if you're into love-death like Tristan und Isolde. Great love perhaps, but hardly emotional health!
Bon Saint Valentin a vous aussi, Monsieur Chariot!
love love love to you and your garden.
information.
From someone who loves and loves flowers... this is beautiful, entertaining, and just so original I could send you a bunch of the finest morning glories!
Oh my goodness. Fiddleheads. I have actually cooked and eaten these. Now I understand what you mean by "unthinkable".
Peece!
DJ
Bonne Saint Valentin to you Monsieur.
...although you probably couldn't print what they say
*sigh*
Anthurium: Worry not, precious: it is Big Enough.
Grass Seed Pod: Never you mind, sweet pea: I am rich.
Pitcher plant: I drown in desire!
Venus fly trap: That which I cannot escape, I must perforce love!
Multiflora roses: I am with child (eight of them, actually), and we shall be rich, rich, rich!
Bougainvilla: I said "contented," not "incontinent."
Carolina Jessamine: What a jaunty hat!
Hibiscus: Yes, that dress makes your posterior look large.
Enlightening as always, M. Chariot.
Ylang Ylang: "Try a gallon less perfume next time."
Sawgrass: "Back off, Missy!" (To a man.)
Sandspur: "You lowlife prick!"
Orchid: "I'm good but it'll cost ya."
Morning Glory: "Get me a double mocha, NOW!"
There is a leaden fiend lurks in my feet!
To move unto your motion, Love, were sweet.
Somewhere, I think, some other where, not here,
In other ages, on another sphere,
I danced with you, and you with me, my dear.
In perfect motion did our bodies sway,
To perfect music that was heard alway;
Woe's me, that am so dull of foot to-day!
To move unto your motion, Love, were sweet;
My spirit rises to the music's beat--
But, ah, the leaden demon in my feet! - A. Levy
My dearest Ladies and Gentlemen, sweethearts all ~ please accept my sincerest thanks for making merry this little Valentine's Day dance!
What about roses?
Thank you, my dear Monsieur. Without you, the subtleties of flower conversation would have passed by me forever. I am in your debt.
I do have several cabriolle legs here and there however...
And I have to say I HATE Valentine's day. So contrived. What if you did something special on a day where it WASN'T expected.
L'amour, l'amour... l'amour!
Yarrow. Yes, it's yarrow for me...
PJM