In our modern era, where etiquette and propriety are of utmost importance, M. Chariot's (Adult) Language of Flowers is the perfect Floral Guidebook for the Romantic Gentleperson.
The practice of attaching sentiment to flower was most certainly not invented by this lovelorn author! Indeed, the ancient Greeks, Orientals and Victorians discovered and developed the floral communiqué centuries ago. M. Chariot has only troweled deeply into the original science to upheave the more floriographic translation - for the person of sophisticated breeding.
When the elegant gentleman or lady truly understands the adult symbolism behind various flowers, shrubberies and plants, a bouquet of blossoms and leaves may be selected and arranged so as to express the most complex and sophisticated feeling - a floral poem, as it were. While the bouquet might convey several thoughts, a single flower or leaf transmits a more exclusive message. And take note, dear reader: any article scented with a particular flower - such as a lace handkerchief, a torsolette, a glove or a letter on parchment - can have considerable effect!
At my tiny salon in The City Of The Angels, a pleasant evening's diversion is achieved by setting aside an hour for the floral conversation. Guests select blossoms from a scattered assortment to transmit their subtlest thoughts and feelings. Thereafter Love frequently blooms!
Sweet flowers alone can say what passion fears revealing.
- Thomas Hood, The Language of Flowers
M. Chariot's (Adult) Language of Flowers
Were I less refined I should throw myself at you!
My celibacy is threatened by desperate longings!
To Hell with you, my Darling! Goodbye forever!
Your simple elegance drives me mad with aphrodisia!
Obsessed, I shall stalk you to the end of time!
My fascination with you has me thinking the unthinkable!
I am shocked by subtle homosexual feelings!
Stop playing games you rash creature!
Anxiety permeates my every thought of you!
Your sensual depravity leaves me trembling with desire!
I am captivated by your intellectual beauty!
You have humiliated me!
My love for you endangers us both!
Your heel digs deep into my beating heart!
Mature charms make me swoon!
My darling only you can soothe this madness!
My desire for you leaves me horribly agitated!
I am dazzled by your discreet witticisms!
A passionate love between strangers in the night!
You inhabit my dreams - and my nightmares!
Fantasies of you leave me drunk with lust!
Your glamour and allure have cast a spell on me!
My soul is healed by your erotic attentions!
Though you've escaped, I think only of you!