The Birther Movement-- or BM, as it's called for short-- has gotten quite a bit of attention lately, as many small groups and individuals proclaim that President Obama has no US birth certificate.  Within the BM, there is a smaller subset of people who realize that a birth certificate actually DOES exist, but who (like me) choose to assume that it is some kind of elaborate forgery. 

I remember my outrage when, during the 2008 campaign, it was brought to my attention that no one had EVER seen Obama's birth certificate.  I was furious-- why had I never seen this document?  I look at documents all the time, and yet, in literally decades of looking at documents, not ONCE had I ever come across a copy of Barack Obama's birth certificate.  Not even ONCE.  

Several months later, it was brought to my attention that the Obama campaign HAD released a copy of his official Hawaiian birth certificate.  It was then that I decided that it MUST be some kind of a trick.  It was the only logical explanation for the existence of a US birth certificate for someone whom I was convinced must not have been born in the United States.  And I've been having a great time being angry about it ever since.

I'm a proud member of the BM.  And I've been a big BM-er for quite some time.  But I happen to think that the scope of the current BM is a little too narrow-- it's important that we remember that this is more than just a movement designed to "get" Obama.  We need to be vigilant in exposing ALL individuals pretending to be legitimate US citizens, especially those armed with phony US birth certificates.  

And that, my friends, is why I am writing to you now.  Because being a part of the BM means staying true to the principles that the BM is all about-- questioning where people were really born, and whether their birth certificates are really real.  And we have to stay true to those principles even when it might not feel so great.  

Therefore, it is with some sadness that I report:  a recent champion of the BM is, in fact, not what he appears to be.  I am referring to Mexican-born Lou Dobbs, host of CNN's Lou Dobbs Tonight. 

His fake Texas birth certificate contains all the right details, but a closer examination reveals a subtle, almost inexplicable hint revealing his true place of birth...

A telltale asterisk points the way...

...South of the border!  

This is bound to be a galling revelation to legions of Dobbs' admirers, who have viewed him as a fierce anti-immigration crusader, speaking out against "Our Broken Borders" five nights a week, and decrying the influx of Mexican illegals into American society.  His recent promotion of the BM movement on his nightly broadcast was a transparent attempt to curry favor with the BM-ers and to throw us off the scent, but it was far too late.  By the time he went on the air to promote the BM agenda, we were already in possession of his fraudulent Texas birth documents.  

On behalf the entire BM, we DEMAND that deportation proceedings begin immediately for Mr. Dobbs!  Unfortunately, it is only a matter of time before he sneaks back across "Our Broken Borders."  

The BM is dedicated to finding the hidden truth of people whose Birth Certificates we have never seen, and to disputing the validity of those we HAVE seen.