At dinner last Thursday:

Moses, did you hear about Michael Jackson?

No, what happened?

Oh my god, he died this afternoon. It's so tragic.

Oh, no. So do you think we should drink red or white wine?

Michael Jackson's heart attack stirred little emotion in me. I'm not totally sure who Farrah Fawcet was. And that OxyClean guy? I didn't even bother to click on the headline.

I admit it. I'm an asshole and I don't feel bad when celebrities die. Does it help if I admit that I at least feel bad about not feeling bad about it?

I just think that if we are all being 100% capital H Honest with ourselves, we recognize that Michael Jackson is no more dead to us now than he was this time a year ago. The man hasn't added much worthy work to his musical catalogue in years, and we can still listen to Thriller whenever we want. About a quarter million people die everyday, and Jacko's death didn't really bother me anymore than the other 249,999 strangers who kicked the bucket.

True, there are exceptions to  my "no mourning for people I don't know" rule. David Foster Wallace's death shook me. Perhaps because of the tragic nature or because his writing made me feel like I really did know him, even if we'd never met. Or maybe it was just some selfish acknowledgement that there would be no new DFW books.

And I'm all for it when the death of a celebrity, especially an artist, encourages the world to rediscover the art they produced. I think we all hope that this happens to us when we go; that people take a moment to reflect on our cultural contributions great or small. Or when someone's death sounds the world's alarm for some ignored problem or injustice. Like Neda bringing the brutality of police crackdowns to our attention. Or Bradley Nowell waking us up to the tragedy of heroin.

I just don't feel a real sense of personal loss when someone I never met dies, even if I watched their movies or heard their music. I think those feelings belong to their family; I don't want to dillute their real grief with the pretend expression of my own.

Still, in order not be an asshole, I will crank "Man in the Mirror" on my ride home today. Just don't expect me to buy any OxyClean.