Expect to enjoy this simple and delicious salad as an intro or aside from your regular nightly consumption, or savor it all on it's own. Preparation is quick but a little messy.

Ingredients (Salad):

• 6 oz fresh spinach, washed and left wet
• 1 large mouth-watering cucumber, thickly sliced
• 2 firm tomatoes, diced
• 1 creamy avocado: halfed, scored, and spooned
• 1/2 tangy red onion, thinly sliced
• 2 hands worth of shredded carrots
• 1 fistful of pungent feta
• 3 or more strips of meaty bacon, fried & chopped
• (Vegetarians swap bacon for nuts)

Ingredients (Dressing):

• 1/2 cup of red wine vinegar
• 1/2 cup of greasy oil collected from dripping bacon (or olives)
• 1 powerful squirt of deli mustard

Preparation:

Make sure that everyone has thoroughly washed up beforehand. When you're ready, lovingly assemble all your prepared vegetables in a big bowl. Slowly pour your vinegar and bacon grease in a measuring cup, when you think you've poured enough- squeeze a prolonged blast of deli mustard into the mix. Now mix this tangy, oily mess until it's all holding together.

If your guests have already arrived, you're ready to unleash this concoction into your salad bowl. With a wooden spoon or paddle, emphatically toss and turn all your veggies. Make sure you get everyone involved, don't let a shy carrot shred hide in the corner of the bowl. By this point, the feta and avocado should begin to loosen and melt, becoming part of the dressing. When you bowl has ceased to contain a random collection of loose vegetables, but instead synergized into a rich ensemble of talented players harmonizing into a musical crescendo of salad, it's time to eat.