...or forcing myself to get out there...

"There must be some way out of here," said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion, I can't get no relief.
Businessmen, they drink my wine, plowmen dig my earth,
None of them along the line know what any of it is worth."

"No reason to get excited," the thief, he kindly spoke,
"There are many here among us who feel that life is but a joke.
But you and I, we've been through that, and this is not our fate,
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late."...

My Midwestern parents raised responsible offspring , emphasizing and instilling a strong work ethic. I began gainful employment as a 16 year-old, high-school sophomore, working 32 hours a week , in addition to classes, homework and extra-curricular activities.

I worked full-time through Summer breaks, during my first two years of college, married young and supported my husband and myself, as he earned his undergraduate degree at the University of Iowa.

While raising our three sons, I operated an in-home, day-care center, for thirteen years, caring for 39, pre-school-aged children, over the years. (as well as their older sibs, after school and during Summer breaks)

After our 20-year marriage failed, I left with $1000 and went back to school. I earned two degrees and began my career in heath care. I re-married and supported both of us for half of our marriage.

Following my husband’s illness and death, I continued to support myself for another 10 years, until I lost my employment over 2 years ago. I sold my home in Iowa, (purchased on my own, thank you very much) stored my furniture and other treasures and moved into my sister’s home in Illinois, (bless her and my other supportive siblings) planning to find employment and start anew.

THEN…the financial/ employment crisis hit with a vengeance.

At first, I viewed my unemployment status as a temporary, “break.” But, as month after month rolled past, with no gainful employment in sight, I began to isolate far too often and far too deeply.  OS has offered daylight and the opportunity to maintain and hone my writing skills, and to maintain my sense of connectedness and self-worth.

Don’t get me wrong. I know that I am accomplished and skilled professional. Over the course of my career, I have been honored to be a companion resource for numerous, vulnerable clients, as they discovered their own pathways back toward healthy, productive lives.

In other capacities, I have lectured at the AMA and Catholic Conference of Bishops, have attended Capitol Hill receptions on end-of life care and personally authored the 109 page, Stewart Communications component of the Final Evaluation for the 2000, PBS, 6-part Series, On Our Own  Terms: Moyers On Dying, submitted to Public Affairs Television. (Bill and Judith Moyer’s parent broadcasting company) In short, I recognize that after working hard to attain 'it', I’ve got "it." Unfortunately, “it” is not in great demand at the moment...neither my "it," nor that of thousands of other dedicated, skilled, displaced wage-earners.

Being a visual artist and poet, and an avid reader, I have found that my time away from the daily hustle and bustle has afforded me ample time to enjoy these pursuits, as never before. Still, there is an increasingly persistent, inner pull (and financial necessity) to resume my career. I began my professional life, relatively late, at age 42, so though I have amassed nearly 20 years experience, I am convinced that I still have many productive years ahead.

Bottom line: I am determined to get back out there. After nearly 12 years of independence, there is a new, magnificent man in my life, with whom to dream and plan. But, above all…I’ve missed me.

By the way, “me” is highly flexible and adaptable, so whatever  is out there, wherever it is offered, I’m game… “Would you like fries with that?”

O.K. Life! One more time…Bring it on!