Lorem Ipsum
MY RECENT POSTS
- The road to hell is paved with
the tears of goaticorns
July 15, 2010 01:53PM - What the watchmaker wrote
June 07, 2010 11:38PM - A proud night for the hunter
May 14, 2010 04:06PM - Matching wits with the Dog
Monster (and falling short)
April 08, 2010 08:16PM - The devil said my soul isn't
worth writing so well
March 28, 2010 10:27PM
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “Oh, Catbastard, I was
getting ready to write a post
about
holding my breath
until…”
September 04, 2010 02:31PM - “Well, you know *I* adore
you, and all your
nitpicking
pedantry. I
consider willf…”
August 29, 2010 03:47PM - “Sorry about all those
PMs. I get a little sendy when
I'm
drunk.”
August 25, 2010 08:13AM - “#21 - There is no
contest to see how many posts
you can wring
out of one
death.
Bu…”
August 20, 2010 08:54PM - “I assume your strategy
is to wear shoes of such
monumental
ugliness that the
only…”
August 05, 2010 06:03PM
Mrs. Michaels's Links
- New list
- No links in this category.
The road to hell is paved with the tears of goaticorns
On Saturday my friend Abby and I did the unthinkable. We got on the local light rail train, took it two stops, got off of it, stood on the platform for a couple minutes (from reading Harry Potter I know trains dock at “platforms”), and then hopped a different colored train/… Read full post »
What the watchmaker wrote

I am suspicious of contemporary fiction. I will turn to the first
page of a book, hoping to find a new world to fall into. I want to
be enveloped into a world that appears to have evolved on its own,
and grown by/… Read full post »
A proud night for the hunter
I am already awake, which ordinarily I don’t recommend at a quarter to four. I don’t think it would have mattered one way or the other, because I can’t imagine my efforts could have been less ept. Something about the noise the Cat made, when she hit the… Read full post »
Matching wits with the Dog Monster (and falling short)
When I told my husband how certain I was that I was going to fail my upcoming exams, he calmly and cheerfully announced that if that happened, he would pack up all my shoes and ship them to Alaska (the better to get me barefoot and pregnant; shoes, after all, are… Read full post »
The devil said my soul isn't worth writing so well
Books I probably read at least twice a year
Harry Potter, JK Rowling. Hands down, collectively. Every time I read them, I come away with something different. Right now, Rowling's depiction of grief and depression suddenly resonate more than they once did. Also, her plo… Read full post »
You will do foolish things
I am only going to answer the first question: yes, there will be men. There will be more men than you know what to do with at times, and of all of them you will find yourself thinking 'he’s more trouble than he’s worth' at least once.
So I am… Read full post »
This is embarrassing.
I have taken some degree of grief the last couple months for not maintaining my rate and quality of output. I know, I post irregularly, and when I do, it's pap like this. Tough. You want regular, high-quality writing? That's why we keep Lisa Kern around. Oh, and the Sta… Read full post »
Dog Monster seeks caption
Some background: I have mentioned before that the Dog Monster does not like car rides. Drool splashes from her mouth, and fur starts floating from her like a dandelion in the breeze. She has overpowered both the Scotchguard and the raggedy mattress pad I used to protect the backseat.… Read full post »
I may be drunk, but in three months you will still be ugly
Insert photo of cold and miserableness
Anything worth doing once is worth doing twice. I have tried to live by that: if I didn’t like it the first time, try it again just to be sure; if I’m not sure whether to try something, then do I really think I want/… Read full post »
An invitation for Judy

I get it, we are your day job. You look at us running around, screaming, and swarming like first graders “playing” soccer, and you wonder whether it’s wrong to mix Pepto and bourbon, at least before noon. (I say go ahead.)
You’re probably still lear… Read full post »
Yes, Virginia, there is a new posts feed
Not a creature was stirring, almost (with petsploitation)
The Puppy Monster and I had gone over to my parents’ for Christmas Eve. I had left the Cat at home because she has yet to show any particular enthusiasm for car rides. My parents have learned not to take it personally. I should have known better than to leave her… Read full post »
Beauty is truth (and maybe a little petsploitational)
The scene: my dorm room, freshman year. I’m lying on my back, on the floor. I’m crying. Somewhere in the background, my roommate keeps repeating, “Beauty is pain, beauty is pain.” My suitemate kneels over me, tells me to hold still as she pulls at… Read full post »
Admission is free, parking is $20
My dad and I went to the Fort Worth Alliance Air Show on Saturday. The day was gorgeous, but a little windy.

I will not be rock climbing this Yom Kippur
Yom Kippur approaches. On Yom Kippur, the book of the year closes, and the fate of each individual is decided for the year. It is a day to be spent in contemplation and atonement. It is a day I take seriously. It is a day I have learned to take seriously. … Read full post »
Alienate your students
Diatoma recently wrote about all some of
the things students do that professors fail to find
endearing. In their defense, not all professors
are noble torchbearers of knowledge and thinking, but rather
rushed, self-important, and more concerned with anything other than
actually teaching. … Read full post »
Pushing easts, pushing norths
Insert bbd photo of highway here
I am late. I was supposed to be here months ago—we were supposed to be here months ago. But of course we broke, three weeks before we were to be here, and it is not so easy to find the I in the waste/… Read full post »
Jerky butts for odetteroulette
I needed an excuse to post photos of the Cat hiding behind some VCRs and DirecTV boxes. I swear I don't run a pawn shop or deal in stolen merchandise, because that would make me a really crappy stolen merchandise dealer.
Seriously, VCRs and DirecTV boxes, and not even the… Read full post »
Fűdie Tűsday: the joy of cooking (in someone else's kitchen)

We did not actually use anthing pictured, other than a spatula or two.
A couple times a year, the Half Latin Boy and I invade my mother’s kitchen, make an enormous mess, and don’t leave until we have splattered butter and flour on every nearby surface. … Read full post »
Year of the Dog

I am a jealous god, and you shall have no gods before me.
Note: if you don’t want to read over a thousand words about a dog with a taste for fine Spanish leather, now is the time click that little back button. You know, in… Read full post »
Facebook/OS Crossover MetaExtravaganza

There is no hiding behind technology
One of my favoritests of favorites on OS slunk quietly into the night. No good byes, no flouncies (despite a promise to cast a supernova of a flounce, should he ever leave). The only evidence he left, to/… Read full post »
How was your day?
After breaking up with me, Will wanted to stay friends. I wanted to stay in touch with him only to make sure he paid his half of the cell phone bill until the contract expired.
He called at least every week. I rarely answered when he called, but waited a… Read full post »

The Lincoln Navigator embodies all that is wrong with the American car. It’s a Lincoln badge and some leather slapped on a Ford Expedition, which is what happened when the F-150 fell in love with the station wagon. It’s lipstick on lipstick on a pig, and therefore a/… Read full post »
Deliver me from futons

Sam and I became friends in class, even though we frequently found ourselves on opposite sides of any issue. We studied together: first at Starbucks, then when we realized we needed to spend more time studying, at a bar, then, when that got too expensive, at his mother's house… Read full post »
A primer: pony painting for petsploitation and profit

Equipment for pony painting:
Cattle markers, various colors; non-toxic

Mini horses, various colors

Permission from the owner:
DENIED.
For years, my friend Beth and I had plotted on and off to paint her family’s… Read full post »

Salon.com