MrsRaptor

MrsRaptor
Location
Arthur, Ontario, Canada
Birthday
May 22
Bio
I'm an old, short, fat, unsightly, grouchy, reformed troll with a bad attitude and a cricket bat. ---------------------------------------------------- I need to state clearly that English is not my first language. There are upwards of 600,000 words in the English language. In my native language there are a mere 11,000 and most of those are entire concepts (kind of like the theory of relativity) rather than words which translate individually. ----------------------------------------------------- Free advice: Don't.

MrsRaptor's Links

Salon.com
JUNE 27, 2011 1:39PM

Is that ejaculate in my coffee cup?

Rate: 1 Flag

Yesterday, for the first time in almost forever, I ran out of creamer for my coffee.   "I'll use milk temporarily...it's no biggie" was my thought.   Long about 6:00 pm I dispatched a victim volunteer to the store to get me some creamer since I wasn't going to be without my creamer this morning.  

My victim volunteer  came home with my hazelnut creamer which I promptly threw in the refrigerator because that's where liquid creamer belongs.  

This morning I get up, make meself a pot of coffee, notice my creamer in the refrigerator has a PUMP on the top of it and raise an eyebrow.  Now my first thought is "Meh... something 'new' they have come up with to collect more money from consumers"...   

Then I push down the pump on that container of creamer and it looks like I have...  well...  LOOK for yourself!   DSC00315

At the point where it looks like I have cum ejaculate in my coffee cup I'm WIDE awake.   I know the men in my life and they are suspicious characters so I'm looking VERY closely at this container of creamer in my refrigerator door.  

Close inspection of this container of creamer revealed the problem...

coffee

See that little red ribbon just above the nuts?   

It says "Concentrated Creamer"...  

My thoughts at that point were a bit jumbled but finally settled on "I can use less creamer and have it last longer"   That sort of appealed to my frugal soul... 

And then I went to get a second cup of coffee...  

And I saw, once again, what looked like cum ejaculate dribbling into my coffee cup...  

*Sigh*   

At that point I told my coffee related tale of woe to my friend Jess in the UK who proceeded to LAUGH at my tale of woe...   

Which is only fair I suppose  since I am frequently creased over some of the goings on over there on that side of the pond.  

*Sigh*  

I suppose I will get used to seeing what appears to be cum ejaculate in my coffee cup about the time the container gets empty. 

I wonder if I will miss it when I go back to my normal hazelunt creamer?  

I know I will never send another victim volunteer to get me creamer... 

There's just something wrong with having cum in a cup and no turkey baster around to put it to good use. 

*Laughs evilly* 

 

Your tags:

TIP:

Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:

Comments

Type your comment below:
I'm sure glad I read this after I had my coffee
maybe you should obtain more through alternate means and maybe you wont be obsessing about it, wink