As we all know, I normally reside in a very rural area. Out here in the sticks I appear to have conquered the problem of saggy britches... at least in the kids who come to my house. What did I do?
*Laughs evilly*
I laid a staple gun and the remains of a clown costume on the table by the front door. The kids come in the door wearing saggy britches and they are given a choice...
Either they put on the REST of the clown costume so we can all point and laugh at their goofy asses
or
I can get out the staple gun and staple their pants to their ass.
The choice is theirs... I don't care which one they choose... Don't babble at me about deserving respect for their fashion choices...That's NOT a "fashion choice" - it's indecent exposure! I don't want to see exposed crack on the plumber with his head under my sink and I don't want to see it on some teeny bopper who can't be arsed to pull his pants up either!
My kids are all old enough so they are responsible for their own laundry... I'm not looking at THEIR dirty underoos... You can bet your sweet bippy I'm not up for looking at their friend's dirty underoos either.
If I have to look at ya dirty underoos you'd BETTER be "putting out" and *I* had damn well BETTER be the person you are "putting out" FOR.
I don't care if ya wear boxers or briefs, if ya wear tighty whiteys or thongs... Hell I don't even care if ya go commando... so long as your furry ass is covered and I don't have to look at it!
Item next:
AXE...
the VERY next teen male who comes into my house reeking of that shit is GOING to get dragged out into the front yard by the ear and scrubbed down with a box of brillo pads!
Is there anything in the world that smells as BAD as that stuff does?
I'd rather smell "teenager hasn't taken a shower in three weeks" than I would smell that crap.
Can I take one of the following axes to the plants making that crap up there?
What's sad is that a whole lot of teen males think they are going to get LAID because of that crap... What's worse is that I can't drag them off to a corner and tell them "Sweetheart you smell worse than an outhouse in 100 degree weather... and you aren't going to get laid so long as you smell like THAT" because as soon as I do some teenaged girl with NO sense of smell will offer herself up on platter.
Do they not know they STINK?
Do they not know they smell bad enough to drive a starving maggot off a gut wagon?
Guys... when ya can be smelled half a block before you arrive it's too much... A little dab will do ya...
The same thing holds true for girls... For fuck sake... if you can be SMELLED 5 minutes before ya arrive you're wearing too damn much of whatever that stench is. A little dab will do YOU too!
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daisyjane
STATHI STATHI
I Wooden Dodat
mistylee<3
Seer
Salon.com
Comments
With most scents, a little bit goes a long way. With Axe, we're better off if it is a long way away.
Mypsyche... feel free... it worked on this bunch around here when repeatedly telling them to pull their pants up was useless.
Bo... A fellow by the name of Kipling said "There are nine and sixty ways of constructing tribal lays... and every single one of them is right!" I sort of figure if it WORKS I might as well "go for it"
Scanner... judicious use of Polo can be a GOOD thing... I know a certain nameless pilot who smells HEAVENLY wearing it. On the other hand... teens tend to think if a little does a good job a lot will do a better job... which leaves them stinking to high heaven. LOL
bikey.... I have NEVER in my life smelled anything worse than Axe... and these kids like to bathe in it.
I like your clown suit/staple gun idea, too, altho we don't get the saggy pants in our house anymore. Everyone's outgrown Axe and the pants thing. When Michael's older brother was in high school the pants were clown pants - so wide you could fit two boys into each leg. Fashion designers have senses of humor, I'll give them that.
Happy New Year to all of you.
Lezlie
You bunch of old hypocrites!! I'm old enough to remember YOU when you were in your teens. You've conveniently forgotten, flower power and free love, and the introduction of "the pill" into society, haven't you?
Those a little younger seem to also have bad memories, or severe hypocrititus. You have, maybe, forgotten short shorts that must have been spray painted on? How about jeans with holes. Yeah, knees ripped out, slits cut in the sides and if you wanted to flout parental sensitivities a bit more, even a few "cheeky" holes that exposed firm young derriere.
And what about the "no-bra" styles that left your nipples looking like miniature hard-ons poking your blouse out? Remember those days?
And now you want to get all "outraged" at a bit of butt crack. Less crack than you exposed in your favourite bikini, I'll bet.
Every generation, at a certain point, wants to flout parental authority and attitudes. Most generations do it in their own unique way; they wear ridiculous clothing styles that exposes some part of their body. Every generation. Same thing. Almost all of them do it and call it "expressing their individuality". It's about as unique and individual as a freakin' uniform. BUT, I did it a generation before you, then you did it, then your children did it, and now your grandchildren are doing it.
And you're all upset and trying to force them to "conform to your notions of style". Good luck with that.
Oh, and just before I go; what on earth gives you the idea that YOUR likes and dislikes about anyone's mode of dress supersedes ANYONE'S absolute right of choice of clothing? Y'know what? I don't give a flying fvkk about what "offends" your poor wee sensitive baby blues. Anybody and everybody has the right to dress up their carcass any way the wish to....... and that includes today's teenagers.
Devil's advocate cat.
.
Matt, I'm shaking my head... I can see you movin into the chicken coop to get away from the stench.
Lezlie... just walk around with a staple gun... there don't even have to be staples in it...
Skye... It's a case of "MY house, MY rules"... and that means I'm NOT looking at teens with their ass cracks OR their underoos hanging out.
As for the REST of your diatribe:
I'm a natural DOUBLE F ... do ya REALLY think I am going to be runnin around without a bra? Are ye daft? I can't SLEEP without wearing a bra!
I've NEVER owned anything as far as clothing goes that looks painted on NOR have I ever owned anything that comes more than 2 inches above my knees. Jeans I didn't OWN any of until after I was 18 and if my jeans get holy I apply PATCHES. Lastly, I have NEVER owned a swim suit that was not modest... nor have I ever run around ANYWHERE in what is, effectively, nothing other than my underwear.
In other words... NO it's NOT a case of hypocrititis... it's a case of I EXPECT people who come through my door to meet minimal standards of dress... and if they CHOOSE not to they are free to LEAVE!
Did I "express my individuality"? OH HELL YES... but I was smart enough to do it in ways which were a whole hell of a lot more subtle than today's teens. Then again, I was the only girl in the family with 9 older brothers and 9 younger brothers...
Balderdash! You know perfectly well that I was using those few things merely as examples. Of course if you were a mental grandmother as a teen, you stand out as an example of "proper dress and decorum" at all times, I'm sure.
More subtle? As a teen? Hahahaha! Teeenagery is all about UNSUBTLE. It's about cutting apron strings and taking those first few tentative steps into a mysterious and amazing world. Well, it is for our pampered brats, anyway. Most of the people of the world don't have this luxury - they are more adult at 10 than many of us at 59.
"My house - my rules," is an excellent philosophy. Keeps the riff-raff out, I'm certain. Your "certain standards" would have horrified your great-grandmother's generation. Why you actually show your ankles in public; how gauche!
;-)
.
The harsh reality is my childhood was vastly different than the "average American." While I may bust my ass to make sure that my children have as culturally normal (i.e. white) of a childhood and teenagerhood as is possible there will always be differences. Those differences are caused by the undeniable fact that most Americans are extremely prejudiced towards people of our race. That is a harsh reality I cannot keep from my children because they see it, feel it and hear it every day from people who swear on a stack of bibles they are "incapable of racism."
I spent the first few years of my life as a literal and factual prisoner - in the United States of America. On a place which was then entitled Prisoner of War Camp #334. While I lived there the United States Army maintained our residence there using guns... You may possibly have heard of the place... today it is known as Pine Ridge Reservation - though the legal designation is still "Prisoner of War Camp #334."
As an aside... if you have never had a teenager wearing a uniform hold an automatic weapon to your head while demanding to see your papers - I don't recommend it.