I listen to the other moms in the waiting area outside the ballet studio where my 4-year-old takes classes. I sometimes try to join in conversation, but I have trouble relating to the things they talk about.

Today's topic was medication for "learning disabilities." One mom complained that the doctor doesn't want to medicate her daughter, but grudgingly does so, although not with the stronger medications the mom believes are needed. She said, "If you don't want to medicate her, you come and live with her!"

I was leaning against the door frame between rooms, trying not to feel judgmental or like an alien. The other moms were comparing their children's various behavior modification drugs and "stress relief" supplements. One woman sounded a little surprised when she said, "Oh, I didn't know you could give that to children." I was hoping she thought it was a bad idea, but she seemed excited to try something new on her child.

As I continued trying not to feel judgmental or despairing, the first mom's phone rang. She said, "Just let him cry for a while. He hasn't been asleep long enough." Well, that did it. I blew out my breath like an angry bull and branded her as an insensitive mom.

The group went on to discuss the necessity of paying a lot for your child's preschool if you want top academic performance and also those early interventions that schools can provide to problem children.

What struck me about today's topic was that every one of the women believed that at least one of her children was "special needs" in some way. What gives them that idea? I'm pretty sure it's schools.