One must have a thick skin when sticking out one's neck in the anonymity of blogland. I learned that one the hard way, but I've been blogging now for several years and have built up my emotional resiliency muscles.

On the other hand, I take periodic breaks from blogging my most passionate topics. For example, in my earlier ranty post, Alone in an insane culture, a respondent reminded me of my own oft-spoken condemnation of mothers judging one another rather than supporting one another.

. . .which in turn reminded me of a post I wrote a while back on another semi-retired blog, RainSolace: (P)anarchy Freedom, which was basically about putting positive energy toward what one does want rather than against the unwanted. Here's a condensed version.

I don't enjoy standing against things, ideas, practices, etc. I prefer standing for things, because that feels good, whereas standing against feels yucky. For example, I got all anxious during my second pregnancy because I wanted another natural birth but I knew from experience that I would have to take a defensive stance to have one at the hospital. That led to my first homebirth which was awesome. My second one was really, really awesome. I never felt drawn to the warrior woman approach to labor and birth. I didn't want to fight. I wanted to dance. I loved giving birth.

Likewise, I don't enjoy breastfeeding defensively in public. I love the breastfeeding bond and all the amazing qualities of breast milk. That's what I want to focus on, rather than on perceived rights or wrongs.

So many of the activities and practices that appeal to me are made controversial, so I end up putting a lot of energy into accepting or allowing other peoples feelings to be there without pushing me to react one way or the other. I truly don't want to argue. I do love to share, though, when people want to listen.

I love homeschooling, attachment parenting, going barefoot, and that really is good enough for me. I don't want to change anyone, because I don't believe it's possible. I remember my relatively alternative mother meeting everyone with a smile, which most times seemed to turn the energy around in would-be judgmental, defensive-type situations. I'm trying to follow her example and allow my happiness full, open expression (rather than hiding it, for example, along with my breasts).

I'm stilling working on the happy breastfeeding concept. I haven't reconciled "respecting" other people's sexual issues with the yucky feeling of covering up.

As I tell my kids: Tell me what you do want rather than what you don't want. We'll start there.