Yeah, I know. This is kind of obnoxious. Who am I to be giving out awards?
Well, this started in the midst of my personal midsummer Sargasso Sea, or - to scramble my metaphors - an abyss of depression that has dragged me down so far, light is just barely peeking over the rim at the top, but I suspect it is the flashlights of deer jackers.
The daily roilings of Open Salon are not soothing to severe mental disorder. So I have been in the archives. The archives are a peaceful place to be. The flame wars are charcoal, the spam is invisible, and it is very, very quiet. If you have been feeling more disaffected than usual, I highly recommend spending some time there.
I decided to make a list of all the posts on OS that have made me cackle – “LOL,” in the vernacular. I figured if they still made me cackle, I should horde up their urls for future dosing. It’s a lot of work going through the archives, not helped at all by the OS software’s infuriating refusal to return one to the place on the previous page from which one clicked. There is an inordinate amount of scrolling involved. And I went through a lot of blogs. To wit, I scrolled through the posts of at least 35 likely blogs in addition to the 21 represented here. It was entertaining, but time-consuming. And since it took me so much time to put this list together, it would be silly not to share it.
Hence, this. James Thurber makes me laugh immoderately, reliably, and often to the point of wrenching my innards. "The Night the Bed Fell" is the best thing ever written, to my mind. While I’m not proposing that these posts are quite as good as that, they all make me laugh out loud every time I read them. That is the ONLY criterion for picking them. They are not necessarily the best posts of the writers, nor the posts I like the best if I have to think about it. But some uncontrollable part of my brain responds to them by making me issue unseemly noises, if not fall out of my chair and roll around in a twitching fit. Thus, I have not technically chosen them. They have chosen me.
There are a lot of funny posts in the archives (some of them are not quite as funny as their writers intended them to be, but many are). Many make me smile, and some make me chortle quietly. I couldn’t possibly make a list of all the funny posts. I’d have to separate them into very funny, pretty funny, kind of funny, relatively funny, and not so funny, and that is way too much work. This is my emergency go-to list, for use on bad days when even my Apocalypse Corners cannot cheer me up.
Please note my brain’s sense of humor may not be your cup of tea. There is no point trying to argue with it. So I don’t want to hear any grousing that your favorites aren’t on this list. If you don’t like it, go make your own damn list. Yes, I know I won’t be on it.THE WINNERS (in alphabetical order)
1 irritated_mother (Annthology)
My Night As A Paranormal Investigator
Things I Learned About Myself On Facebook
angrymom
Why You Are Driving Me Home Tonight
bluesurly (Not-As-Needy Acres: tales from the heartland)The Worst-Behaved Horses on the Fairgrounds
Blevins, Steve (Borborygmi)
Mom Feels Great, but I’m Planning Her Funeral Anyway
Chariot, Monsieur (a gentleman of questionable relevance)
Bombarded by The Booty10 Things A Gentleman Must Never Do
Cymraeg Freaky Troll (freaky salon Cake Makes the Headlines)The Freaky Troll Book Club Part 5: Rub Your Way to Joy
OS For Nitwits, Because I CARE!
Freaky’s been naughty… spank me!
Freaky Hats Off to Arthur James
kipourosChicken Translation of the Month – Restaurant Menus
Laurel, not Lauren (What good is a high-speed connection…when I’ve still got a dial-up brain?)
My walk on the wild side (with apologies to Lou Reed)
Wanted! Your ideas for OS sponsorships
m.a.h. (Living a Charmed Life by the Sea)Driving Is Just Another Word For Aiming Part 1, Part 2 and Part 3
mistercomedy (That’s MISTER comedy to you, pal!)An oratorical history of america
NoisyNora (Flying Kites Down the Stairs)You Practice Your Religion, I’ll Practice Mine
odetteroulette
The Tours Are Never Haunted, well almost
He Who Is Handsome Gets Fluffed But Not Folded
Peacock, MaggieA Doberman, A Peacock, A frozen Model And A Crash
The Peanut & The Pea
What’s the WEIRDEST thing you’ve ever said?
Rodgers, Michael (Just the way I see it & other wandering thoughts)Ross, Cindy
The Rapture for Dummies - A Clueless Christian Guide
Savasky, Sarah (Sarah’s Salon)Sheldon The Wonderhorse (Eating Apples Since 1969)
I Think I’m Going To Knock Over The 7-11
smac 972 (A Humdrum of Lesser Wit: Average and overpriced)
verbal remedy (Verbs and Spices: once upon a snark)
While it looks like Freaky Troll and Monsieur Chariot are in a showdown for the Grand Prize, odetteroulette is also up for it, because in addition to her three qualifying posts, she also has this post, which is the scariest thing I've ever read on OS (and "The Night the Ghost Got In" is my other favorite Thurber piece). Only Scoubidou has come close to scaring me this much. Also, in this post, odetteroulette has embedded my favorite youtube video of all time - the one that makes me shriek so loudly the dogs try to hide.
And so the Grand Prize goes to - uh - well, actually - there is no Grand Prize. I got nothing. But somewhere I think James Thurber must be cracking a small smile.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Ranjit Souri
RenaissanceLady
Renee Smith
Kris T Parker
iamsurly
Jeff Howe
Salon.com
Comments
And yes, the archives are a fine place to wander through. Hope you're doing better.
Loved James Thurber!! When we stayed at the Algonquin, I said to the person at the desk, "I'd like to stay in James Thurber's room!" He replied "I'd love for you too, but Mrs. Thurber is staying there."
My favorite line of his is at the ubiquitous cocktail party, two women with martini glasses, one saying, "I always try to spend Halloween with my ex-husband."
Well, I guess my lunch hour today will be an extended one. :-D
Thumbed for raiders of the lost archive.
Maria - archives, I tell you. A good place.
Delia - enjoy, thanks.
Mrs. Michaels - maybe with some encouragement? Thank you, I am a bit.
Nelly - James Thurber is the best.
Penrose - the fabled Algonquin, cool. I can't pick a favorite, but I've always liked "I say it's spinach, and I say to hell with it."
Bill S. - I haven't recovered from envying "ad nauseum" and you hit me with "raiders of the lost archives."
It is yours for the taking, my friend.
I'm going to bookmark this list so I make sure to share your laughter, with some I've already read and some new ones, too.
Thanks for including me - I'm glad to know I made you smile.
Laurel - thank you very much. It's raining again, and the ticks are in hiding, but they'll be back. Eat an extra nanaimo bar for me.
That said, this is a very well written and very funny post. Your words flow like butter. I will copy this list to word so I can read the ones of these that I missed and maybe revisit the ones that I've read. Thanks for this, MPeg!
I've read The Night The Bed Fell aloud to people because (you're right!) it's the funniest thing ever written. The first times I read it I laughed so hard that the entire story was punctuated by me trying to catch my breath between sentences! I still can't get through it without tears (of laughter). Obviously you have EXCELLENT taste in humor!
Suzie - this list is most amenable to personalizing with your own additions. There are so many possibilities. As for Thurber, I know! I was crying over it just this morning.
thank you! :)
I wanted to add High Lonesome's post about her Grandpa's funeral, but it isn't at her blog anymore. Does anyone have a copy of it? I think it was called In Which Grandpa Nearly Goes Straight To Hell, and it was so funny I nearly ruptured myself.
Thanks for leaving links. I'll start with Thurber, of course (it's been years since I read this!) and then the OS funnies.
Cindy Ross - I tried to have that very post on this list, but she had wiped everything away. Darn it.
Seriously, thanks!
I would only have inserted Davidjaku's Sarah posts--particularly the one where mccain morphed into a black woman.
Thanks!
Steve - I had fun. I'm glad to spread it around.
1 I_M - I love hysteria that works both ways.
o'stephanie - I must go read that one, then. Thank you.
BTW, Love "Wide Sargasso Sea," but definitely not funny.
I do believe I will be referencing this magnificent award on my blog! I've never won anything in my life!
You are very kind.
There are so many! Of special note is Matt Brandstein
M. Chariot - you make me weep. Also have splitting headaches, but they don't last.
Gary - I just read that post, and it made me laugh! He's completely new to me. Thank you.
PlannerDan - just do not hit the "Go to posts" at the top of anyone's story or we will never see you again. Because this list is just a fraction of a fraction of what's out there.
You, too, are missed.