I have never really been one for tattoos.  If other people want to get them, great.  Most of my friends have at least one or two and some of them have even more.  I've seen tattoos that look straight from a trailer park and I've seen true pieces of art.  But I still never felt the need to put one on my body.  Then Jen said this:

"Well, if you ever do decide to get a tattoo just tell me because I want to go get one with you."

"Like at the same time, or the same tattoo?"  I asked.

"Possibly both depending on your choice."

Jen and I have been friends for nearly a decade now.  I don't think there's a single person on the planet that knows me better than Jen.  IF I were ever going to get a tattoo it would be with her.  But the conversation passed by and really wasn't brought up much after.

Then about a year ago a tattoo parlor opened up at the gas station almost next door to my house.  This constantly brought up drunken conversations of getting a gas station tattoo.  The idea was always just a stone's throw away.  So the idea started to infest my waking hours as well.  What would we get?  An image, words, a symbol?  Because it sure as shit wasn't going to be the obligatory butterfly.

People get tattoos to be unique, to commemorate the important stuff that fills their life... Or because they're under the influence.  I wanted whatever went on our bodies to be completely unique.  Something no other person on this planet would have.  I also wanted it to be something regrettable.   I wanted to go into the situation already thinking the idea was so stupid that I'd gotten over it before any ink hit my skin.  I wasn't shooting for the moon, I was aiming for the trash heap.

Then I slowly started to figure it out.  Reality Bites is our favorite movie together and separately.  I'm fairly certain that with our combined efforts we could quote the entire movie without ever pressing play.  One of the dumbest moments in the movie happens during one of the most serious.  The two best friends are sitting in a coffee shop talking to each other and Vickie is worried about her HIV test coming back positive.  She makes the comment that it's like it's not even happening to her but she's some character on a crappy show like Melrose Place and when she dies the girls are gonna show up in halter tops and chokers.

Then Lelaina does exactly what both Jen and I would do in the situation.  She calmly tells Vickie that no matter what the results were they would deal with it together.

Then she says "Melrose Place is a really good show."  And they both crack up because it's such a stupidly perfect thing to say about something so serious.

Stupidly perfect is exactly what I was going for.  As soon as the quote entered my mind I knew that it was what I wanted.  And when Jen's face lit up after I told her I knew that this little side conversation was growing into what could be one of the best dumbest ideas I've ever had.

"Where would we get it?"  She asked.

This did not take so much thought.

"It has to be a tramp stamp.  How much fun do we make of tramp stamps?  It's redneck, it's skanky, it's perfect."

"Ok, you say when and we'll hit up the shell station."

That was three months ago...

This was Friday night.

I'll admit we were slightly drunk.

Meg came to document!

This is the inside of the gas station tattoo parlor.

And this is the face of a girl who knows she shouldn't be doing this... But is gonna do it anyway.

Jen apparently likes the needle.

But I'll admit that I was in some fuckin pain here and there.

The artists were so amazed at how retarded this whole idea was that one of them used his cell phone to send pictures of it to his boss and the other guy stuck the copy on his mirror.  

And I didn't realize it till I'd gotten home but my ID was left behind.  When we walked back in to get it three college girls were getting their nose pierced and the freaked out and asked if we were the 'Melrose' girls.

Well ladies and gents, Jen and I have never even seen the Melrose area in real life.  But we have seen Melrose place, and though we didn't actually think it was a really good show, the space above our asses would beg to differ.  We are now the Melrose girls.  And I am the proud owner of one of the dumbest tattoos on the planet.

...And so is Jen.

The End.