Should I get a tattoo?
Husband and I have an ongoing debate about this, and I have promised him that I won’t do it. I’m not sure why he is so offended by the idea, but he doesn’t make many demands of me other than insisting I stay on my happy pills, so I feel like I should comply. Also, he’s worried a tattoo will get droopy when my skin gets old.
Even BFF has weighed in on the issue, sending me articles about how tattoos are “so ‘90s.” Of course, she already has a tattoo, so it’s possible she’s trying to thwart my efforts to be as trendy and hip as her.
But you know, the option just sits there, like the last Oreo left in the pantry. And I want it.
Normally this idea resides benignly in the back of my consciousness, but every so often something happens to propel it forward. Today, the propellor is Michelle Obama’s legs.
If you have better things to do than read about stuff that really doesn’t matter, let me clue you in. The media is in an uproar because Michelle Obama wore shorts when traveling on Air Force One on her way to the family’s Wyoming vacation. They weren’t short shorts, but nor were they long shorts. I’d call them medium. The hem hit her legs about mid-thigh. She appeared to be wearing a twinset with them, which I found a little strange, but whatever.
Now Michelle Obama does have some nice legs, though I don’t think they are as nice as, say, mine, for example, and she looked just fine in her shorts, as though she might be going to a neighbor’s backyard barbecue. Her bottom half was dressed for burgers and Bud Lite, and her top half was dressed for salmon and Chardonnay.
But some media types did not like the fact that she was traveling on Air Force One in casual shorts. They find it “inappropriate.” And I think the implication is that it was inappropriate for her age, which is 28 days younger than me. I am 45.
All summer long I have been tempted to buy myself some of those trendy short shorts to wear, but have been worried that it’s “inappropriate” for my age. But now I’m a little miffed that anybody thinks I can’t wear anything because of my age, so I’m going to go find some today that will hopefully be on sale since I will probably wear them once then give them away.
Same thing with tank tops, which I have been hesitant to wear for years because I was worried I’m too old to have my bra straps showing. But you know what? I now understand that the public at large knows that I wear a bra regardless of whether the evidence can be seen. I’ve talked myself into believing that it’s nearly sexist for me not to be able to show my bra straps. I have boobs! I have to wear a bra so I don’t get sweat marks on my shirt from my breasts bouncing on my stomach! So deal with it, people! And now I wear tank tops and dresses with skinny little straps and I don’t care who sees my bra, as long as the bra is clean.
I don’t think Michelle Obama’s shorts were particularly flattering on her, and they were a little wrinkled in the crotch area from sitting on the plane. I probably would have worn something else. But we’ll never know, as I could never be First Lady or probably even work as an air conditioning repairperson in the Oval Office due to that awkward little incident from my senior year in college.
The point is this: why does anybody care what she wore on the plane to Wyoming? And, by the way, maybe she had been wearing a skirt but little Malia got airsick and threw up all over her and all she had in her carryon was a pair of shorts?
And why can’t I get a small, tasteful tattoo?
Husband and I have an ongoing debate about this, and I have promised him that I won’t do it. I’m not sure why he is so offended by the idea, but he doesn’t make many demands of me other than insisting I stay on my happy pills, so I feel like I should comply. Also, he’s worried a tattoo will get droopy when my skin gets old.
Even BFF has weighed in on the issue, sending me articles about how tattoos are “so ‘90s.” Of course, she already has a tattoo, so it’s possible she’s trying to thwart my efforts to be as trendy and hip as her.
But you know, the option just sits there, like the last Oreo left in the pantry. And I want it.
Normally this idea resides benignly in the back of my consciousness, but every so often something happens to propel it forward. Today, the propellor is Michelle Obama’s legs.
If you have better things to do than read about stuff that really doesn’t matter, let me clue you in. The media is in an uproar because Michelle Obama wore shorts when traveling on Air Force One on her way to the family’s Wyoming vacation. They weren’t short shorts, but nor were they long shorts. I’d call them medium. The hem hit her legs about mid-thigh. She appeared to be wearing a twinset with them, which I found a little strange, but whatever.
Now Michelle Obama does have some nice legs, though I don’t think they are as nice as, say, mine, for example, and she looked just fine in her shorts, as though she might be going to a neighbor’s backyard barbecue. Her bottom half was dressed for burgers and Bud Lite, and her top half was dressed for salmon and Chardonnay.
But some media types did not like the fact that she was traveling on Air Force One in casual shorts. They find it “inappropriate.” And I think the implication is that it was inappropriate for her age, which is 28 days younger than me. I am 45.
All summer long I have been tempted to buy myself some of those trendy short shorts to wear, but have been worried that it’s “inappropriate” for my age. But now I’m a little miffed that anybody thinks I can’t wear anything because of my age, so I’m going to go find some today that will hopefully be on sale since I will probably wear them once then give them away.
Same thing with tank tops, which I have been hesitant to wear for years because I was worried I’m too old to have my bra straps showing. But you know what? I now understand that the public at large knows that I wear a bra regardless of whether the evidence can be seen. I’ve talked myself into believing that it’s nearly sexist for me not to be able to show my bra straps. I have boobs! I have to wear a bra so I don’t get sweat marks on my shirt from my breasts bouncing on my stomach! So deal with it, people! And now I wear tank tops and dresses with skinny little straps and I don’t care who sees my bra, as long as the bra is clean.
I don’t think Michelle Obama’s shorts were particularly flattering on her, and they were a little wrinkled in the crotch area from sitting on the plane. I probably would have worn something else. But we’ll never know, as I could never be First Lady or probably even work as an air conditioning repairperson in the Oval Office due to that awkward little incident from my senior year in college.
The point is this: why does anybody care what she wore on the plane to Wyoming? And, by the way, maybe she had been wearing a skirt but little Malia got airsick and threw up all over her and all she had in her carryon was a pair of shorts?
And why can’t I get a small, tasteful tattoo?
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Martha Nichols
Palindrome
Jeris Donovan
SeattleK8
David Cox
the squirrel
Salon.com
Comments
Besides, you say you have beautiful legs. Then why deface them? You don't paint graffiti on the Mona Lisa, do you?