tricia booker
- Location
- Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida, United States
- Birthday
- December 20
- Bio
- Tricia Booker is an award-winning journalist and neurotic writer of creative nonfiction. She lives in Ponte Vedra, Florida with her husband, two daughters, one son and a dog. She has written for many publications including Notre Dame Magazine, Folio Weekly, Minnesota's Law & Politics and the Vero Beach Press-Journal. She has taught creative writing to middle schoolers and journalism to college students. She's currently a dedicated domestic engineer.
MY RECENT COMMENTS
- “If the teacher says the
"street smart" kids are
taunting your
son,
I'd…”
October 13, 2009 09:24PM - “Oh Jeris, I suspect
you're taking the best of both
women and
making them into
you…”
October 06, 2009 09:35PM - “Thanks, all, for
reading. The washcloth is a
great idea...my
kids hate
that. I've…”
September 23, 2009 09:53PM - “Thanks, Elena! Slightly
jealous of
your
empty-nestedness...”
August 23, 2009 12:00PM - “Thank you, Obsolete Man!
Being compared to the Mona
Lisa made
my day, if not my
w…”
August 22, 2009 09:58AM
Tricia booker's Links
- New list
- tricia booker's blog
I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw she was holding a bag of potato chips. “Mommy’s driving, sweetie,” I said. “I’ll open it when---” THWACK. The bag/… Read full post »
Michelle Obama's legs and why I don't have a tattoo
Husband and I have an ongoing debate about this, and I have promised him that I won’t do it. I’m not sure why he is so offended by the idea, but he doesn’t make many demands of me other than insisting I stay on my happy pills,/… Read full post »
A Correction Regarding the Enema
She has never given me an enema, she insisted.
But I had quite a vivid memory of it. We were at my grandmother’s house, and I was begging her to take me to the/… Read full post »
How a drunk girl's ass made me feel really old
Husband and I had a date last night, and we were walking to a restaurant near the beach when a gaggle of drunk young women spilled out of a poolside bar into the parking lot.
One of them yelled, “Hey, look at this!” and she pulled down her white/… Read full post »
The Newspaper, Neighbor and Onion Incident
When someone honks a horn at me because I accidentally weave out of my lane because I’m reaching behind my seat to shove a sippy cup in somebody’s mouth, I think, “Hey! I go/… Read full post »
I'm a middle-aged mother of three. And I can kick your ass.
My uterus served me no purpose in life (my children were adopted), and I was glad to be rid of it. I dance/… Read full post »
Vacation Odyssey, Vol. I, or why my hair is sticky.
I have great news. Today is the start of our two-week cross-country odyssey, which includes back-to-back extended family vacations and driving to Cape Cod in our motorized landfill which has 94,000 miles on it.
It is possibly the most fun you can have in a minivan with one overly-optimistic/… Read full post »
Judgment Day on the Appalachian Trail
I was shocked. I cried about it to my husband. “I am not judgmental,” I told myself, and everyone who would listen. Now I’ve changed my mind, and I have a confession to make:/… Read full post »
Vacation Odyssey #2, or why I hate Cracker Barrel
Well, we’re five hours into our Vacation Odyssey Driving Trip to Cape Cod and Husband is already in the doghouse.
We are in Bumfuck, Alabama. Today’s headline in the Bumfuck Times is: Feeling Love -- More than 40 students dedicate life to Jesus Christ. On the plus side, Hank/… Read full post »
Teaching my kids about sex. Or not teaching them, actually.
Every girl who read it dissolved into giggles then passed it on. When the note came to me, I opened it up. It said: Did Joseph fuck Mary or did God fuck Mary?
I dissolved into giggles and handed the/… Read full post »
The other day Hot Firefighter Husband walked into the kitchen with a sticky children’s medicine dispenser that he picked up from the Tyrant’s bedroom and said, “Sometimes I come home and I walk around the house and wonder what goes on around here while I’m gone.” … Read full post »
The drinking started 30 years ago. It hasn't stopped.
Part I
I entered high school in 1977. Across the nation it was a time of bell-bottoms and tie-dye. At my Uptown New Orleans private school, it was the age of the preppy. The cool girls wore LaCoste shirts and straight leg corduroy pants. The cool boys wore the same/… Read full post »
Stay-cation, Part II: gorillas have big butts
We’ve turned a corner, I thought happily. Every few minutes she would run into my bedroom and check in with me before scurrying off to do her business./… Read full post »
Not without my daughter. And one more chicken taco, please
Two years ago this month, I was living in an apartment in a nice section of Guatemala City.
It was a cute little spot, not far from the main avenida, with several little restaurants and shopping areas nearby. It was very safe. It was extra safe, in fact, because/… Read full post »
Why haven't I written? Why am I bitchy? I'll tell you why.
But that’s not it. The truth is that the prescription for my happy pills ran out a week ago, and/… Read full post »
My son might be gay. Oh, bother.
The Pterodactyl wants me to buy him a purse. Obviously he’s gay. Which would explain his fascination with the hair dryer, his weird attachment to anything fuzzy, and his tendency to sing along to Taylor Swift songs. He’s almost five years old and he loves rainbows. Can there possibly be/… Read full post »
Overserved: Too much wine, too many Cheez-Its
Are you there, God? If not, please ignore.
Don't say what to your kids? Too late.
The Trendy Stay-cation: How bad does it suck?
Yesterday we went to the Adventure Landing water park, and Husband and I were pleasantly surprised that it wasn’t a more appalling place to be. The pool water was actually cool and/… Read full post »
Prom in New Orleans:When the drinking age was 12
Twenty-four years ago, I walked down the aisle in a long white dress.
It was my high school graduation, and that’s how the young Catholic ladies of the Academy of the Sacred Heart entered adulthood. On graduation night, which was followed by prom, we wore long white dresses that/… Read full post »
Here's a new diet. But I don't recommend it.
I’ve always thought that I was one bout of botulism away from my ideal weight. I now know that I’m one-half of a bout of botulism away.
I feel certain my recent stomach woes came from a can of tuna salad. You know - the kind that’s already mixed/… Read full post »
Don't ask, don't tell. Really, I mean it.
I am a big believer in “Don’t ask, don’t tell.” It makes a lot of sense to me on many levels, none of which have anything to do with gays in the military.
Well, maybe it has a little to do with gays in the military. I believe homosexuals/… Read full post »
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