My great Aunt Sophie tormented me endlessly about where I was born. She also called me fatty, but that’s another story.

Aunt Sophie questioned my Southern heritage, and whether I was loyal to my New Orleans roots. She called me a……a Yankee.

It mortified me. Even more frustrating wa… Read full post »

Oh, poor underdeveloped, overrated Tropical Storm Beryl. Worry not, for judging by the amount of damage inflicted in my home, you had the strength of a hurricane.

Furniture upended, strips of paper strewn about, Sharpie streaks on the counter, every clean sheet unfolded, Dorito chips in the bathroom.… Read full post »

My children love to go to the gas station, and it’s my parental ace-in-the-hole.

“Guys, if you let Mom take a nap, I’ll take you to the gas station.”

“YEAH!! OF COURSE, MOM, WE’LL BE SO, SO QUIET.”

“Okay, we need to run some errands – I’ll t… Read full post »

Reminder: The questions posed in this occasional column are written by actual people. 

Dear Savvy Sister,

My 4 1/2-year-old son used to be the most well-liked kid in preschool. A little over a year ago, a boy began calling him names and being very aggressive. I addressed the issues with the… Read full post »

Dear Hot Firefighter Husband,

Eighteen years ago, we exchanged vows under the gazebo on the tennis courts of my parents’ country home. Dad had installed a ceiling fan because, in his words, “there’s nothing more unattractive than a sweating bride.”

You fretted about how your h… Read full post »

I read The Hunger Games to figure out why I was the only person in North America who hadn’t. Then earlier this week, I saw the movie because I unexpectedly had a babysitter and no plans. And here’s my assessment:

The popcorn was excellent. I love popcorn. But here’s the problem… Read full post »

Children are like martinis – one is too many, two is not enough, three is too many. Still, they’ve taught me some valuable lessons. Here’s the first installment of Things I’ve Learned, a new occasional feature in which I chronicle my parental learning curve.

Things I’ve… Read full post »

Do you read Part I? You really should. Click here. 

So yes, the Handyman reminds me of an Ex, who was also a brooding blue collar Hottie who liked Budweiser, smoked Marlboros, and had trouble sticking to one woman. Mmmm, mmm.

I met him while working on the Mississippi Queen… Read full post »

NOTE: Hot Firefighter Husband finally has released the Embargoed Post! And I adore him for it. In return, I’ve agreed to a handful of sexual favors.

At last month’s book club meeting, we discussed E.L. James’ runaway bestseller Fifty Shades of Grey. You may recall that this was not… Read full post »

Reminder: The questions posed in this occasional column are posed by actual people. 

Dear Savvy Sister,

What’s the best way to booze in your 40s? As much as I love my vino, I have noticed wine tends to keep me up in the middle of the night. What’s the science… Read full post »

“Do you publish all of your blogs?” asked a friend. “Or do you have some hidden away that I haven’t read?”

Until yesterday, I posted everything. Then Hot Firefighter Husband and I had a…disagreement. So I have one sitting in the bag.

This Embargoed Post was about S… Read full post »

The Tyrant has pneumonia. Again. But she’s such a trooper that I didn’t suspect anything till she started vomiting mucus in the middle of the night. Even at the doctor’s office, in between coughing up phlegm and spitting into the trash can, she was climbing up the cabinets and playi… Read full post »

Reminder: The questions answered in this occasional column are posed by actual people. 

Dear Savvy Sister,

What’s up with today’s grandparents? We all grew up with grandparents who were willing to be present and look old — and help from time to time. My grandmother lived with us for a… Read full post »

Of all the nonsense surrounding the Hilary Rosen/Ann Romney debacle, Catholic numnut Bill Donohue brought home the bacon.

In case you’ve just emerged from a secluded Tanzinian cave – and if you have, please email the name of your travel agent – here’s the scoop: Democratic str… Read full post »

“Do you yell at your kids?” my friend A.R. asked.

We were having cocktails one evening around a blaze in our new fire pit.

AR and his wife and their two girls were visiting from Up North. Holy Ketel One, I’m glad they’re gone. My liver hurts.

At first I wasn’t… Read full post »

The other morning as I walked my kids to the bus stop, a neighbor warned me that a possum had been hit by a car and was grossly squashed in the street.

“Oh, no problem!” I said. “My kids are fine with gross stuff.”

But then we arrived at the bus… Read full post »

The day after Easter, the Diva asked, “Mom, if I gave up something for Lent, what do you think it should be?“

I explained that she would have to think of something she would miss, something that means a lot to her, like candy or YouTube.

“I think I would give… Read full post »

Damn Gem the Easter Dog ate four hard-boiled eggs in their shells, eight gazillion jelly beans, three wrapped Starburst, and a chocolate bunny. And she only threw up once! That’s my girl. I’m currently having a standoff with Hot Firefighter Husband to see who will clean it up. Right this… Read full post »

Reminder: the questions posed in this occasional column have been posed by actual people. 

Dear Savvy Sister,

So the elapsed time indicator has passed 59, and the projected viable life span is about 25 +1 years. Warranty has pretty much expired on all parts. How do I keep from spending… Read full post »

The Attachment Chronicles
Part I   Part II  Part III   Part IV   Part V   Part VI

I’ve been very irritable around the house lately, snapping at Hot Firefighter Husband like an alligator. “You don’t treat your friends like this, do you?” he said.

“I can�… Read full post »

NOTE: Please check with your doctor, therapist, life coach, Wiccan priestess or congressional representative before listening to anything I say.

Did you miss Part I? Click on this  BUTTON. 

How about Part II? Click on this BUTTON.

In the short few days since my last installment, two unfortu… Read full post »

Dear Generous Readers,

Sometimes the Savvy Sister encounters people in everyday life who need her advice but don’t have five minutes to send her an email. If they would just quick checking Facebook ever so briefly they could write down a single sentence and zip it off to me, but whatever.… Read full post »

NOTE: Please check with your doctor, therapist, life coach, Wiccan priestess or congressional representative before listening to anything I say.

Did you miss Part I? Don’t worry! You can read it by clicking this here button! BUTTON. 

You know what I hate? Cheez-Its. I really hate Cheez-Its. Li… Read full post »

Reminder: The questions in this occasional column are posed by actual people. 

Dear Savvy Sister,

A few days ago I finally watched “A Beautiful Mind” with Russell Crowe. It was so powerful, and as we have a nephew who deals with bipolar disease, it hit pretty close to home, too. But… Read full post »

I spent a good deal of my senior year in high school on the Atkins Diet plan. Remember that? The no-carb fad? I ate like a sumo wrestler. My best friend and I consumed bacon by the pound. No matter how much we ate, we lost a pound a day, every… Read full post »