My Psyche's Blog

Musings of my mind

mypsyche

mypsyche
Location
I cannot believe I live in, Texas, USA
Birthday
May 28
Bio
Mom, partner, listener, healer of wounds large and small, dog-petter, writer, pie baker, star shooter, wine appreciator, hungry muse, part-time pirate

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NOVEMBER 19, 2009 12:29AM

The table

 

“Look at that!” I motion to my son, gesturing towards the dilapidated chest-of-drawers on the side of the road. 

 

“Mom, why do you always like old things like that?”  He rolls his eyes.

 

“I don’t know. I guess I just like the idea of olRead full post »

NOVEMBER 14, 2009 3:22AM

THINGS I NO LONGER BELIEVE: Open Call

  • I no longer believe that people are innocent unless proven guilty.
  • I no longer believe that my words are of less worth than the words of others.
  • I no longer believe that being nice is my only option.
  • I no longer believe that to have integrity means being a wimp.
  • Read full post »
NOVEMBER 10, 2009 4:12PM

Grace--we could all use some

 
It’s 1972. I live with my family on a military base. It’s Memorial Day weekend and the entire base is swathed in displays of patriotism. I walk into the Base Exchange behind my parents and immediately become engulfed in the crowd. Whereas, normally the entry area might have onlRead full post »

NOVEMBER 5, 2009 2:30PM

What would you do?

 thursday

What would you do? What would you do if your son had clung to life, barely, just barely, for weeks and you did not know from one day to the next if he would live, and if he did live, if he would even be able to function?  WhatRead full post »

NOVEMBER 5, 2009 12:40AM

Foreign lands that became familiar

 

 

We met on foreign lands for

twelve months

 

Twelve months that alternated

between writing and reading and kissing

Making love in beds too small and too big

 

We met on foreign lands for

opportunity

 

Twelve months passing slowly

with times too fast and times too slowRead full post »

NOVEMBER 4, 2009 1:47AM

I MADE MY CHOICE

 

By the time I get to the end of the lane I have decided to leave.

 

I was only going to retrieve the recycling bin.

 

But the smell of the night, the moon’s glow, the crispness of the evening air--OH how they called to me! And I thoughtRead full post »

NOVEMBER 2, 2009 10:12AM

Good-bye, dear one

He came from nothing. His parents left him, literally, in the front yard of the shack they lived in. 

 

“Wait here. That’s what they said. And so I waited and waited. Even after the social worker or whoever she was took me to the home, I would run back thereRead full post »

OCTOBER 30, 2009 12:35AM

Phone Sex

Hello?

 

Hey.

 

...oh, hi...

 

I know. It’s been a while. Too long, really.

 

Yeahhhh. It has been a while.

 

I’ve missed you. I wanted to hear your voice again.

 

Oh.

 

::chuckles:: Come on, it hasn’t been that long, has it?

 

Um, yes. Yes,Read full post »

OCTOBER 28, 2009 12:57AM

Weird Wednesday

Home grown fun! 
 
my weird one
 
OCTOBER 25, 2009 11:40PM

A wish for contact

 I was thinking today about the need for immediacy, how we have come to expect immediate responses to our texts and emails.
 
I remember lifting the phone receiver up to my ear to see if there was a dial tone. Do you remember that sort of hunger? The longing? The thrill of… Read full post »

 

Earlier today, OSer Mark Pritchard posted “Question for beautiful women”. (read here) I clicked on it because I was curious. Sometimes a provocative title draws readers but the actual post is about something unrelated. I moved to his post, read it and wondered about answering: DoesRead full post »

OCTOBER 19, 2009 11:55PM

Love at first bite

I don’t believe in love at first sight. 

However, I remember every detail of you the first moments we met. How your brown eyes sparkled. The crunch of the apple you were biting into as you turned the corner. A sole sprig of hair bouncing. Your generous lips smiling.


Read full post »

OCTOBER 15, 2009 2:53AM

There are no wrappers against pain

Rue Cler is bustling. The vendors yell cheerfully and the customers all seem to be in a good mood. We hold hands walking down the street of wares. Fruits, flowers, meats--all seem incredible and fully present for our taking.

 It is not custom for the customer to pick out his/her produce.… Read full post »

OCTOBER 14, 2009 2:09AM

You are gone

 

I stand in the door way of your room. It smells like teen spirit which really means it smells like teen boy. It’s been almost two years since I laid in your bed, sobbing as I took in the scent left behind on your pillow.  Now, I ache in yourRead full post »

OCTOBER 12, 2009 11:46PM

What's in a name? OPEN CALL

Sometimes I read a posting on OS just because of the poster’s name. Some names suggest aspects of a person such as their profession:  psychomama, lunch lady 2, teendoc.  Others I come to find out that there is an attachment to someone or a beloved pet: cartouche, asperger mom, and scaRead full post »

OCTOBER 12, 2009 12:30PM

Brass Ovaries: Growing a pair

 

Most of my life has been spent in a quiet truce with the world around me.  Early on, I learned to adapt, to duck and to dodge. I learned the importance of not drawing too much attention to me, sometimes doing this by getting lots of positive attention. I wasRead full post »

OCTOBER 7, 2009 2:09AM

This is not okay (she whimpers).

Today I heard stories about being beaten up and humiliated by others. My sadness at hearing these stories crept into my consciousness and I felt a sort of stillness that I associate with depression.  In the meantime, a text message came in from a friend stating, "It's okay to take care… Read full post »

OCTOBER 5, 2009 4:53PM

When Space Changes Time

My office mates and I are looking for a new place to call our own. This is rather like herding cats because all of our needs, hopes, and fantasies come skittering out.

 

“Oh, we have to stay downtown!”

 

“I want a bigger office. Say, I hope we can getRead full post »

OCTOBER 2, 2009 6:18PM

"Love after Love"

"Love after Love" 
by Derek Walcott

The time will come

when, with elation,

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror,

and each will smile at the other's welcome,

 

and say, sit here.  Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give

Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 26, 2009 10:19PM

No one told me about her

 

“Look!”  He walks into the room carrying a dirty, heavily smudged mirror. 

 

The piece is large, almost 4 x 6, the edges bevelled in an art deco approximation.  He cheerfully scrubs the mirror and its beauty reappears.  In our small, scarcely furnished apa

Read full post »
SEPTEMBER 17, 2009 11:39PM

Every day

Every day that I see you

I see change

 

Every night that I see you

I fear change

 

Your strengths create false promises

While your limitations

Crowd my imagination

 

Your limitations are too heavy for youRead full post »

SEPTEMBER 16, 2009 1:42AM

I hate everybody--YES, that includes you!

I hate everybody. You, the one reading this, I hate you too. I feel such rage against the world and truly, exasperatingly, I have no outlet for this except to rage here on OS. This is the only place I believe that I might be read. And, then, so what? What… Read full post »

SEPTEMBER 11, 2009 7:03PM

TGIF

It's Friday.  It's been a long week of hyperbole and shouting, of hope and fear, of not knowing what end truly is up.  It's been a week wherein my head whips in surprise at unexpected words and my heart skips at a beat at the sound of my beloved's voice.  I… Read full post »

My hope is more fragile than I wish to admit.

 

I talk a good talk but when the winds pick up, when there is a crack in the floor, a thud against the wall, I seem to become Chicken Little. I don’t cry, the sky is falling! but I do/Read full post »