Austin**•.¸♥¸.•**not-Texas, Texas, USA
May 28
♪♫ ♥ Diva ♥ ♪♫♥
Mom, partner, listener, healer of wounds large and small, dog-petter, writer, pie baker, star shooter, wine appreciator, hungry muse, part-time pirate and pole dancer.


OCTOBER 11, 2010 9:32PM

OUTraged and Heartbroken

Rate: 48 Flag

I sit here in shock and fury.

 I heard today about a former client, a gentle soul who worked to overcome the anxiety that crippled her daily activities and a depression that repeatedly sang to her a siren song of suicide's temptation.

Adopted as a child she never quite felt she fit in with her Anglo family. But, going back to her Hispanic parents didn't provide a fit either. No where felt a good fit until one day, she realized she loved women. She came out and dated girls. Her parents tolerated this, supported it, questioned it when she occasionally had a crush on a boy.

 Her anxiety was a roller coaster that heeded only a medicinal brake. Her depression erupted in rages that were always self-directed. Weekly I would see her bruised, cut, sometimes battered body.  

However, she worked and she got better. She found a steady girlfriend and learned to trust that someone could love her.

Once she found some sense of stability and security, she began to talk about her real desire, the desire to be a man. 

 "I'm not a lesbian. I'm a hetero male trapped in a woman's body, or maybe I'm a gay man, but no matter what, I feel I am a man."

He then asked to be called by male pronouns and changed his name from an obvious female name to a male name. He left to work with a therapist who was transgendered and did well. I heard from him a time or two and he returned a year after starting testosterone to show me who he "really" was. 

We smiled and shared delight in the journey we had experienced together.

 Today, I heard he was attacked this past weekend. Attacked viciously and mercilessly by a man claiming to be an off-duty cop. Threatened. Raped repeatedly (not having had bottom surgery yet), and beaten. I don't know the details, only that his family isn't willing to prosecute.

I feel helpless to help him and it makes me tearful. But I am also enraged and  I will do something to help the transgendered community. No one, no one, should ever endure such treatment because of someone else's discomfort or homophobia or whatever they want to call their hateful actions. 


The client I write of here is a former client who now lives in another state.

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makes me sick. I wish him light, healing and love.
This kills me. It should not happen.
What are we going to do about some of these straight edges that fear for their masculinity and rape women and men.
I know quite a few trans genders and they should not even have a label.
They are human beings like everyone else.
rated with sad hugs
After hearing what happened in New York and now reading this, I really can't understand the hate that people have for others who are different than them.
Julie--thank you, he needs all he can get.

Linda--yes, we're all humans and we all fear and love and try to trust. No one should be hurt because of that!

Scanner--yes, the NY story just makes me want to pretend I am not a part of this human race. I want to sit this one out and wait for the 'next race'.
This is pathetic and awful. I will never understand the motivation and hate of those who would dare do such a thing to another human being. I am sorry for him and for you.
i don't have words right now.
only deep sadness...
How much cruelty do we have to know before the light begins to shine?
rated with love
What is wrong with the world? What does this upsurge in violence mean?
Geez, what the hell is going on around here! With all the homophobia and the hate-mongering racists Keka wrote head is spinning. I'm so sorry for your friend
Dr. Spud--thank you for your kind thoughts

ladyfarmerjed--it hits hard, doesn't it?

RomanticP--I wish I had an answer because that would indicate an end in sight...

HB--it scares me to no end. The last few weeks have been horrific in terms of bullying and horrific acts.

Blue--thank you, thank you

Elisa--I know; I just don't get it and I want desperately to GET IT so I can figure out something to do.
This person has enough to deal with without some idiot raping and nearly killing him. Horrible. Wish things like this did not happen. R
sad. Julie said it first. Light, healing, love.
o mypsych - this is so raw and so wrong.
no one should be hurt like this, no one.
This breaks my heart. So wrong. There are no words...Sending love, light, and healing towards him. May our thoughts and emotions support him. May our prayers and actions bring the change our world needs. sorry to hear about this. sorry to hear about this.
fear is lalways one step behind violence
what a horrible thing to happen to another HUMAN being at the hands of one calling himself the same species
i just have no words for what is going on in this country right now. it has to stop.
Bea--thanks for being here

Gabby Abby--thank you for stopping by to comment please--you are so right: no one, no one...
kateasley--thank you, it helps

Owl-our collective thoughts are sure to be helpful. They just have to be!

Just Thinking...--I'm glad you were here.

Vanessa--yes, fear does beget violence and yet, we must work to stop it in all forms

lemonpulp--Our country needs some serious healing.
This is so sad. This kind of thing needs to end now. Thank you for writing about this.
so sad. Fear and ignorance generate such hate.
"...only that his family isn't willing to prosecute

Since when do they have a say in the matter? Please update to let us know that law enforcement is investigating this.
Well Crap !!!!
Why is hurting others so core to us as human beings?
:( And grrrrrrrr.

Something needs to be done... this is really going to levels that are beyond the human condition.. these animals need to be stopped. We need laws and strong legal punishements for these people... I hate this.. I hate to be part of a world that hates like this...
Thank you for sharing this... I wish your friend a rapid heal from the heart wounds.. for those are the difficult ones to heal...
The horror of humanity. I will light a candle for this person at Mass and say a prayer. Then I'll say a prayer for his attacker.
I am tired of all this and Mauricio is right, these animals need to be stopped. If they have no souls they should be kept in cages, something is very wrong, these are not human beings. These are some kinds of predatory monsters roaming around free. May they receive ten fold what they have given. My heart goes out to him, I will pray for him to heal and become stronger. I'm so sorry you had to know this, I share your sorrow and outrage too.
How very horrific. Beastial..
Why can't people just leave those of us who are different alone in our paths? This person had found healing, was doing what he needed in order to be a complete human being.

How dare anyone else judge him as a lesser individual and take punitive action because he is different.

I too am outraged. And hurt. Because this could so easily happen to so many of us.
I am angry. I am angry for him and for everyone who wants nothing but to live their own life in peace. This makes me shake with anger and sorrow.~r
So much rage. I fear for my friends.
The attack is disgusting, wrong, immoral, illegal, and outrageous. But this? "...only that his family isn't willing to prosecute." This leaves me without words.

I'm so glad the rest have words I don't. This is a terrible evil thing and my heart pounds for justice. May our hearts and minds create a synergy of healing love for this person as they move away from a terrible ditch in the road. Foggy as it may seem now, hold on the sun will shine again. Honest. Thanks for the post M.
This is beyond horrifying. How can we live in a world where this happens?
I had to pop in and comment. I too fear for the future of mankind. There is no accountability, you hate somehow you feel you have the right to use that hate agaisnt others. I don't get it and scares me. Good thoughts and prayers for your friend.
Why does the family have to be willing to prosecute? This is a crime. Awful.
violence on the whole is sickening but sexual violence curdles my blood and drops extra ish in my blood stream because of how much it angers me.
I am sad too. I ask with Hells Bells.
I carry many sad memories with you.
I sometimes `Imagine in my `Mind.
It's a seeing through to discern `Ills.
I am never certain ...
I hear a politico Etc., declare a Big Lie.
They are the BIG LIE. They are LOST.
Predators, fakes, and the worst `ILKS.
I hear then say`
I will help you.
But, i Imagine`
Inner dark psyche, thefts. perjury, flim-flams, crooked, purse snatchers, warmongers,
and I Imagine arms slashed,
war deaths, hungry outcaste,
and I sense a Mystery`Bardo.
Beware, but also I find comfort?
We human critters reap and sow.
I sense these bad/evil creeps reap.
I am saying`
No be a Fool!
You/me can't violate Nature's Laws.
If Ya/me are a LIE ... You croak, huh.
Politico's who are FRAUDS `REAPS.
Weeping may happen now ... Rejoice!
I am not capable of expressing`Word.
I'd say`
Never sell-Oy, Ya immaterial `Souls.
No buy bad porridge RANCID `Soup.
I came here thinking I may post.`No.
Pick cabbage.
Make cabbage broth.
umm cabbage `Soup.
I hope this is `Weird.
Weird. Great `Word.
No pass via Life Dead.
FOOLS come to FOOL.
Thank you all for commenting and for sharing my pain and outrage. From what I know third hand, the family doesn't want him to pursue charges, altho by law, charges should be made. It's a crazy world but I am glad to know decent people are here and shaking their fists with me.
Disgusting...I am horrified...I am so sorry to hear this...xox
It's a sad story. I wish him quick healing and well too. ~r
Stories like this make me feel ill. Such hatred and violence. Where does that come from? I hope he recovers fully physically and emotionally. I also hope that the DA will prosecute anyway -- these vile people need to be put away, to protect all of us.
How horrible. How can anyone hate and disrespect a person to such a degree? My thoughts are with him. I hope he'll heal and move on to become the man he wants to be. R.
this is one of those things, where most people can't even get into the heads of someone who would do this
So sad, psyche. This is a despicable act. Having gone through the process with your client this cuts even deeper with you than most. Ignorance breeds such hatred. Who do these perpetrators of violence fear? Their shadow selves??

May your client find help and healing. It will be a long road.
Speechless. What a horrible, horrible thing. Man's inhumanity to man is indescribable.
I really don't understand why some folks are so sick as to violently abuse those whose sexuality is not the statistical norm. They're the ones who need treatment.
Too sick and sad.And, this family that won't prosecute. So much savagery and viciousness without any understandable basis. Sorry that you and your friend have to be witnesses.