I am frustrated.

Each time I hear of the 'heart-warming' story of Gabby Giffords, I want to scream. I am angry because her story is portrayed one-dimensionally as a story of hope and courage for survivors of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). And I believe, that for the families of a person with TBI, this is misleading and adds insult to the injury.

Each time this show returns from commercial breaks, it begins with "Gabby and Mark: Hope and Courage". There is not one person who has had a loved one who has suffered a TBI who does not know the polarities of hope (please let him/her get past this) and courage (living through the reality of day-to-day life). Yet, for anyone without the resources available to Rep. Giffords, the reality is one less of hope and more of courage. Courage to face the overwhelming reality of a loved one who may, or may not, live a full life. Who may, or may not, be restored to pre-injury levels or something even close to it.

Gabby Giffords is shown in beautious form. She is shown saying the right things, the words most momentous. I know those moments. I can splice them in from my own life...In January 2008, my 15 year old son was hit by a min-van, thrown 60 feet, landing on his head. He was unconscious when the paramedics reached him. He was not responsive to command, his pupils did not dilate to light. On the commonly used Glasgow Coma Scale, he 'failed' at a response rate of 3...

While my son was in a medically induced coma, we were presented with the information that we might have to make the decision of his 'quality of life'. How does one go from that to trying to imagine what one wants for their child in life?

When her husband, Mark, is asked what he wants for his wife, he answers, 'For her to string sentences together'. I rage. This woman is still in rehab after 9 months. My son, who suffered a TBI so severe it was thought he would not live, was discharged from rehab after 3, THREE, weeks. Is her insurance really that much better than the two policies in place during his accident? My son returned home before he should have been. He was emotionally labile, aggressive, at an emotional age of three, unable to comprehend the limits of his injury, angry, and incapable of straightforward communication due to the injury that affected his linguistic ability. His language was a melange of words that fit the context and words that made no sense. He perseverated on the same topic for hours at a time.

Mark and Gabby have a book out. A book full of hope and courage. To my mind, it is a book that obscures the reality of recovering, and seems slanted towards a voting public. To me, a mother who went through months and months of recuperation and recovery with few resources, it seems like lies, stories meant to convey a false sense of hope and courage, not a view based on being in the trenches.

I know we all want a story that is full of meaning and ends with a good message. I know, because in the wake of my son's accident, I sought out any and all stories of brain injury and recovery. Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) recovery involves stages of denial, anger, aggressiveness, emotional lability, moodiness, perseveration, substance seeking behaviors, lack of insight, impulsivity, and lack of judgment. The books I found provided solace because they spoke to the reality of dealing with a person with TBI. These books spoke to the frustration of dealing with a TBI and spoke to the joy of small breakthroughs.

Shame on Mark for pushing the idea that Gabby will be able to return to Congress anytime soon. Will she, eventually? Maybe. But maybe, when she could, she will want more than public service. My son, after almost 4 horrific years, now has his GED and has finally gained employment at a small retailer--a master feat after 3.5 years during which he could not follow through on job hunting.

Gabby Gifford's husband does not really address the loss of his wife. He talks solely of hope and courage. I believe he does many people a dis-service by not addressing the emotional devastation caused by 'losing' a spouse to TBI. Who we get after a TBI is not the person we had before the TBI. In the wake of this realization is grief, sorrow, loss.  We have lost a person who is still in front of us. As Mark speaks, he overlooks the reality he, and numerous others, face: the loss of the person loved.

This is not a diatribe against Gabby Giffords or her husband. Her recovery is indeed miraculous. She has obviously had to work hard and is still working. It is a diatribe against the part of our culture that wants to focus on the positive to the exclusion of the reality. And, by reality, I mean the ups, downs, and really hard parts of what happens when...It happened, we have to deal with it. Period.

My son with his life-saving neurosurgeon.