PS: this is mainly an effort to keep close to the nicer memories of my life as the present isn't all that nice right now. so delving in kind of keeps those other thoughts at bay and prevents me from brooding too much.

Leeandra started it, thanks to her, I also, found that reading through your FIRSTS gives a nice view into your culture, times as GM Gsaton mentions here and as I mentioned in Cartouche and Marcela's blogs. I enjoyed reading all of your firsts, wish my friends James, David, Metaness (Michael Melissa) Newton, Dicea, Delia Black, JR Dog and WUS, would do the meme too.  If the real first was unhappy, one could always write about the REAL FIRST when it ws happy? 

The first outstation stay

Tejpur, a serene hill station in Assam,  where I had met  Sheiladidi - an Indian woman with a foreign sounding name. They lived atop a little hill, in a lovely cottage with glass windows all around the house. In the cities you get houses either with two sides or if you are reasonably rich, with three sides. This cottage had six sides.  Sheiladi's mother, sat on a little cane stool to cook in a square kitchen the windows of which looked out into the forest outside, but a forest that didn't scare you, in daylight. At night to climb up to their house or down from it to the road below, we used long torches the kind that rangers use in India.  I used to love watching their domestic help wash clothes in a washroom (this space was only used for washing clothes) that had two doors, they left both open when they washed so anyone could walk by in the garden and stop to talk.They got a tiny round cane 'mora' made for four year old me.

I sat on this stool,  feet tucked under me, chin propped in my palms, back to the warm eastern sun, and watched fascinated.  It was so beautiful. Mounds of lovely white linen,  the soft fragrance of detergent, rushing breeze blowing in the scent of the forest outside, rolls of colorful sarees - gathered in the fold of lovely hands, bangles tinkling, ring flashing, eyes smiling, mouth recounting monkey stories I wanted again and again, while the hands busily worked.  Such peace, so much warmth, and love - everything seemed right with the world.

The little girl never forgot.

Only problem is she got it so often as a child, she got used to thinking the world is this huge nice warm sunny place, surrounded by friends, safety nets, learned to expect it everywhere, all the time :) 

Who was your FIRST prom date?

We do not have proms here. In fact, boys and girls never used to go out at all. No concept of dating when I was growing up. When the daughter cme of age, the parents arranged her marriage.

But, I did go out for the first time in my life, on the eve of my twenty first birthday, unchaperoned, with a gorgeous looking guy called Shubho, a son of my dad's childhood friend. Everywhere in the city centre we went, people flocked to him from impossible places and there was a lot of laughing and winking and speculation  and 'discreet' teasing that wasn't so discreet at all, ultimately, I asked to be taken home. He played first class cricket, seemed to know the entire town somehow. It was shocking for someone who never ever went out except to school, college or a relative's house for closed family events. 

Who was your FIRST love and do you still talk with him/her? 

The gay man they arranged my marriage with. He smiled a lot,  introduced me to trekking, local trains, long distance travel by train, Monish Gupta's novels in Bangla.

First Crush

The character of Sherlock Holmes. Later, in school, Jeremy Brett as Sherlock Holmes.

 What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?

Some kind of wine that my Canadian friend had specially got for me. It was the millenium year, we were trekking in Kodai, South India.  When Glenn learned I never had tasted achohol before, he asked me if I would like to,  that night, then had vanished nearly for half a day,  "I got the sweetest I could find for her, I thought she might like this", he told the New Year's eve gathering. "It is very good", they said. Then he came to check on me three times in the morning, woke my room mates up, apologised, explained, "you see she has never drunk before...".  They were pissed off. But they liked him, so didn't complain. I was fine. 

What was your FIRST job?

Teacher's job. Always been a teacher ever since.

What was your FIRST car?

A Mahindra jeep. Not mine. I rode that at age two, across the rolling miles of a tea garden in Assam.  I puked soon as they stopped. I do not drive.

My first air ride?

On a Viscount I think it was!  To Tejpur. Then a Caravelle.

Who was the FIRST person to text you today?

No one. It is Sunday.

Who is the FIRST person you thought of this morning?

Persons. A couple of OS friends - if virtual does not count,  then my milkman...

Who was your FIRST grade teacher?

Not first grade, my Pre K teacher was Mrs Agarwal. She used to get books for me from home. And I spent most of my primary school time outside the class room, walking around the school watching our Principal Mrs P. Guess at her chores while she talked incessantly to me - mostly answering questions.  This was more interesting for me than to sit quietly inside.  I was restless, they could not manage my temper and tantrums,  so they would coolly hand me over to either Mrs M or Ms G. Once Ms G had tried to pick the little girl up in her arms and she  let her body hang out so precariously to free herself, that Ms G was forced to let go, (she was frail and almost fifty) and the little girl hit the ground and broke her  crown and they came tumbling after.

The children that could see through the glass divider, what had happened in the corridor,  laughed. So the little girl had  sat up and laughed too. When I think back on the scene, it still brings a smile. There was no anger. Children are so intelliegent and sharp and brave.

Who was your FIRST best friend & do you still talk?

Sumana Basu since Pre K. No we lost each other after grade three.Next it was Lata Singh Bisht in class seven. Am looking for her still. Tried FB.

Where was your FIRST sleepover?

Sumona Basu's house. During Durga Puja holidays. My father did not like sleep overs outside the house.

Who was the FIRST person you talked to today?

My Landlady came to visit me with her friends mid morning.

Whose wedding were you in the FIRST time?

My father's elder sister, boro pishi's wedding.  It is the biggest wedding still in my mind. I was less than three at the time.

What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?

Went out on the terrace, unlocked the door,  picked up my packet of milk which had been dropped outside the front door.  Second thing, made me tea. 

What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?

By myself? Gaanmela rock concert of Cactus, my favourite BanglaBand, at Rabindrasadan, Kolkata,  where I met my second gay friend for the first time.

FIRST tattoo?

None.

FIRST piercing?

At age one and a half, by the dance mistress.  when I had gone for 'classes'. (they don't take you until you can walk properly but I would cry to be taken there as the sound of ghungroos fsacinated me), she just picked me up and "look here" and did it. I had screamed. Refused to go back for the other ear which happened two years later. It was painful,  gave me fever. I hated having to wear little neem ticks to reduce puss formation everytime  they inserted the gold thread.  I would try to pull at the ear when it hurt and made it worse.  I ti sbetter to do it when little girls are very young or wait till she understands or wants it.  Not good to spring it on them. My mother didn't let them pierce my nose.

FIRST foreign country you've been to?

Nepal. But no memories, I was one month old, it was January. The office doctor gave mum brandy to lace my feed with to kep me warm, she says. We were there that year. My first encounter with the mighty Himalayas began right here. she says, everytime I cried out she would move me near the window that had a view of the Pokhra range, and she said I would stop. 

FIRST movie you remember seeing in the theater?

Alibaba Chalis Chor. After ten minutes of it, I tried to crawl under the seat and then hid my face with the cushions.

FIRST Detention you had?

Class four: in a fit of rage at imagined partial referiing at the throwball court, I had smashed the ball against the shrubbery that formed the fencing for the playground and had stormed out of the court.  Huge mistake, ladies do not behave like that. A friend, Dolly Acharya, the first girl of class and captain of the team,  tried to defend me. So, we got to stay back, our parents were called and we had unnecessarily long multiplications to do sitting on the front steps.

What was the FIRST state you lived in?

Wonder. Fear of the thunder, of darkness, of the underside of beds and chairs, of locked rooms, of great big buckets and tanks, of people with spectacles, of not having mum at home, of being left alon, of having to turn the page of a blank copy when left alone in a room (some spirit might just emerge you know how they can be anywhere, in any form?), the sound of the tropical forests at night, the watchman (if I was naughty my cousins  said they would marry me off to him!).

If you had three wishes, what would the FIRST one be?

To get the Woman's Empowerment Group started this year itself, soon, before I wither and die...

What is the FIRST thing you would learn if you had the chance?

How to make a film I think or to fly?