Rolling

Rolling
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December 03
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Peace has been said to be indivisible; so is freedom...

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AUGUST 22, 2009 12:17PM

he wants a long lasting marriage

Rate: 17 Flag

Dating

asking people out or dating is not common  in India.

usually, meetings happen when people meet in office or some familiar space or there are common friends or you meet at a party and strike up a conversation... if you are a recluse,  just going to school and coming back  - you do not meet men or date.

(teachers are not supposed to have lives.  if someone sawyou with some man on the street -  a) the world would speculate, b) they might ask you who it was expecting to hear that it was your cousin - best answer is 'my brother' or c) they would discreetly drop you  or d) worse still,  boycott you socially).

(never mind if some of your Indian friends protest, this is the reality of middleclass urban life. at the very top and at the very bottom,  anything goes. but in the middle - well, the middle has to stay up or the system crashes...so..... there is a huge 'responsibility' to live up to.....for the benefit of the collective good.

so,  what do independent  people without fathers from middle class families  here do is:  advertise (please do not laugh).

and often these are people one would meet through ads this one is sourced from one of the most famous and popular matrimonial sites in India.

well,  - read on and (hope you do) have fun.....

""I am Krishna
At present I am away from my business activates, and doing prayers to forget my sorrow. Another reason is I would like to settle down where the bride is living, or near by major city. So if I on the business then can not relocate. Once the understanding comes, then I will settle down where you are living. I will reach target of income in three months, then only can conduct the marriage. My E-Mail Id is murkrione@yahoo.com.

My mobile number is 09246032878. Please communicate me from your E-Mail id, if you require further details, please do not hesitate to call me. Even through I am ready to relocate, I will be pure veg. I would like to spent rest of my life in services and for others happy. I am expecting both should live as one soul and two bodies. In E-Mail please mention your matrimonial Id or call me in between 6 pm to 8 pm.

I knew all major cities in India, so relocation will not be a problem for me. I am confidence on the horoscope, but after 40 yeas horoscope matching not required. I am her for a long lasting marriage. I always say every one & every creature living before the eye’s GOD. So if we do good things GOD will get happy, by making GOD happy, GOD will make us happy.

Many used to spoil others for their glory, but then never thought what they did will come back to them. We do not know what our soul did in its previous births, so if we keep on doing good things and doing services, the GOD will save us when the troubles are coming near to us. Send your Mobile or Land line phone number. I am not expecting any financial help from you; I have enough to start my own.
About Me
 
Ready to relocate where the bride living. I am a simple man with soft nature. To forget my sorrows due to the demise of my wife, I do not want to continue my future at my own city, so I would like to settle down where the bride lives. After demise I am ideal with out any earning due to the sorrow. But once the marriage is fixed, then I will start my business at the bride city and I will achieve my profit of Rs 50,000/- per month with in three months, then only I would like to perform the marriage. Due to my business travel I knew all important cities well, so relocation to me will not be a problem.
 
I am looking for a bride who can be a morel supporter for my developments. I am with Telugu & Tamil mixed culture man since I lived in both states, I am saying like this. I do little small continuous temple worship and praying to pass the benefits to my father and my wife as GOD please keep both of them in heaven; if their soul born again in the earth then few will be affected. Love & affection is softer than snow, so both should have same attitude, other wise their will not be peace. I am having snow, but others thrown fire on me, so was burn by others. For my hounded thoughts my small temple service is the medicine, even if I take 100 births, I can not forget the harassments I faced. Any way now I am alone and living to serve many temple.""

 

********
this too is India... another interesting side ofthe nation that went nuclear, is capable of fission-fusion, knows all about yoga..... am laughing.... ours is such a funny country... absolutely contradictorily huggable like my despotic Aries mamma.

*************

P.S. I 'cleaned' the post of the personal parts as I felt uncomfortable with it when I re read it. hope that is ok. 

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Comments

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Rolling---I once advertized as well. The link to the story is here. I wrote this back before they stopped giving me editor's choices and I was still trying for the front page---so I'm not sure how good it is, but it shows you not the only one who advertised!

http://open.salon.com/blog/chicago_guy/2008/11/29/the_glass_eyed_girl_who_tried_to_kill_me_off
weekend book: Countdown by Amitav Ghosh, records the realities of the Pokhran nuke tests India conducted in 98
you dont mention your reaction to the guys letter at all.
sometimes you have to think about your own life and HAPPINESS, and not others will think. figure out what YOU WANT. take it from an american :)
funny! I got some of those men who vomit NEED e-mailing me a few times. I figured it was Russian mafia (No offense to my Russian relatives) or some other scam. But! Would you believe I met my man on an internet dating site? Oh My God! His being articulate, smart, well-educated and very charismatic helped. Wasn't expecting it, didn't believe it, had to give in finally.
Woman wanted man. This man anyway.
I confess that I do not understand your cultural situation but I hope you never marry just to be married. But, WOW, these men all sound scary! May you find some one who is more interested in fulfilling you than in having you fulfill them.
Rolling, you sweet thing, I sure hope something comes along that is better than these guys. I guess I shouldn't say that. They might be perfectly nice guys and just not presenting themselves very well. I'm looking at living out the rest of my life alone and it certainly is scary to think about but I'd rather be alone than with someone who doesn't appreciate me. Marriage is highly overrated in my book.
Have fun!!
LOL...personally I think you should have given that ole Texas boy a tumble. I guarentee you he would have brought you to a whole new world. Besides, us Texans are good for a laugh ever now and again.
I do agree with some of the comments here Rolling. In the end it must be a decision based on love and not need or interpreted desperation. Give yourself time, continue to communicate and reply and rush into nothing. You have plenty of time and when the right man comes along, you will feel it in your heart.
I think you deserve someone smart, articulate, sweet, passionate---I don't know about these folks. I can understand advertising, believe me. There are so many internet sites here for dating. I never thought I would do it, but I did. For now, I am not on one, though.
Let us know what happens. A friend of mine said she always thought that if you went and did things you were interested in, then you might find a guy there without looking, and you would have something in common. It sounds like, though, where you are, it isn't so acceptable to mix socially like it is here at, say, a concert or bookstore.
Rolling- this is a very interesting essay. It gives an insight into concepts Americans are not quite familiar with, such as your comment about "the benefit of the collective good." We are too individualist to quite grasp "collective good." Thanks for your insight. cy
This was fascinating to read, it´s a totally different approach to many things, marriage included, from our Western society (I don´t even live in the United Stats).

From the way you write, I take it you are an intelligent , insightful woman, and I think you will know what to do to feel good with yourself when time comes.

"I had fun. hope you did too. this too is India... another interesting side ofthe nation that went nuclear, is capable of fission-fusion, knows all about yoga..... am laughing.... ours is such a funny country... absolutely contradictorily huggable like my despotic Aries mamma."

I loved this personal portrait of India.
Rated!
Marcela
:) Roger, read- enjoyed- commented on your story - yes, those are the perils of going through advertising. beautifully recounted. I ended up liking after I had read Sally's comment :)

vzn, :) yes! you speak the thoughts in my heart. I would and "do not respond" is my response.

Rainee, it is hard to believe, but since you sound so happy, I would

OM, hope your words come true but wd prefer a friend for life rather than marry. the idea of dying alone is a bit uncomfortable. there is no hospice here :)

Sharon, "rather be alone than with someone who doesn't appreciate me", my thoughts too.... though sometimes, wish I had had a baby, you know a biological one, have always wanted one, but I always met men that do not want children somehow :)

Torman, bad luck I guess - would certainly remember if there is a next time. Would a Texan have been comfortable with my Gay friends?

Manchu Wok, am sure you are right - am prepared to wait an entire lifetime :)

Delia, "it isn't so acceptable to mix socially like it is here", no, it isn't. they tend to think you are fast and available if you smile at a man even, or flirtatious if you pick up a conversation - I do that though (while travelling, when you have to spend days in the confines of a train compartment) bec I love people and am curious by nature.

Cy, with the way your cities are planned, public spaces are designed, preservation-conservation is done, does not look like you are not aware of the collective good but yes, in your culture, you respect the individual - that is what draws us Easterners to your country. nearly all of us educated ones go there for this - so we get a window of opportunity to be our selves :) even when they have to work hard with knee deep snow and the loneliness, they still prefer staying on - just bec of this.

Marcela, wow, that is a lot of good things I heard about me in one place, thank you my friend. "I think you will know what to do to feel good with yourself" , I try to stay true to my inner being, that is what being educated to me means - to nurture well being so everything around me is also sustained
Yes, rolling. Not all Texans are Homophobic. That is a stereotype I see alluded to all too often in here.
This is really fascinating!
What are you looking for in a husband?
yes, am sure you are right. this one wasn't originally from Tex, he was born brought up in the deserts of Arizona I think he had said, very 'into' rodeo and stuff...

Kathy, hi, great to see you again.... 'husband' - oops! wd rather not have a 'husband' ..... a housemate ?... umm , like most women, I feel, a nice man brought up well, that isn't scared of people, should be nice to 'be' with I guess... :)
Wow how hard. I think your stories are great.
I love your tags, Rolling. Very cool header, indeed. You should feel proud!

Same advice from me as most of the other commenters. You'll know when it's right and it will continue to be obvious when it isn't.
I agree with you, too.... no marriage, just live together. (It's not a vile opinion.)
Robin, WUS - you r both up very early I see - yes, yes to both and wish you hve a lovely contented weekend, mine's about to end :)
Fascinating read, Rolling. You are a strong woman and I can't imagine you settling down or for less than what you believe in your heart you need and deserve.
settle for a nice mama's boy...

preferably bipolar, or some other damn-fool diagnosis


god-infused boy...

then: infuse HIM....

Build a Husband..
O wow two very rare visitors - you two made my day end well.
Coming from you Cartouche, that is a huge compliment. thank you

James Mark, you are probably right - they can marry a man then build a husband out of him. women are very hard working, wdnt you say? I admire them ;)
I’m glad I saved this for Sunday afternoon as this was a lark!

“I advertised (please do not laugh).”

I’m sorry, but I could not help laughing as you shared the results of this adventure! I love these cultural slices of life you share as they teach so much about the people and culture of India.

I’m curious, have you seen Outsourced? I’m wondering what you think of its portrayal of Indian society. Michael and I found it quite enchanting, but I wonder how accurate it is? Just curious, like you :-)

—Melissa
one of the most authentic representations I have seen :) what the girl does and says is what modern Indian girls would do and say
Rolling, thank you for sharing with us. I didn't know that India had an anti-dating cultural stigma. I did know that most parents choose spouses for their children. I had an Indian American friend, born in the US, who expected her parents to get her a husband from India. It's fascinating. I do wish you luck in your search.
am not searching anymore but thanks Gwendolyn for stopping by. T Michael has posted a wonderful piece today, you might like that ...