Is joy like no other.

It pays to go away if there is a home to come back to. Nothing compares with the joy of coming home, somehow even if you know it isnt going to be perfect bliss in this place. You still want to come home.

Me and my father - we loved to do this. We are not adrenaline junkies exactly but I think we needed this emotional high and we made a way for this to happen with our lives with the choices we both made. He never changed jobs, had only one, that he peacefully and very honourable retired from with all due benefits. He had a job that entailed tranfers from one place to another. Mine isnt what they call in India, a 'transferable job' , but I walk in and out of jobs maybe soI can get away and come back?

Both daddy and me are people that need some space to ourselves. 

This house is where we spent so much time together, this is where we came to live when I was fourteeen, and lived here all these years before he passed away a few years back. So I cant help but miss hm when I walk this road to this place.

I brought work home and expect to get it done while am here.

I would have to find a way to get Young Women's Christian Association Lucknow to grant me shelter and reason with them to not refuse me a seat on the grounds that am over forty. Forty is not that old! 

I work ten hours a ay almost and as hard as any person that is thought of as young and am no less vulnerable in a strange city and therefore they cannot turn me away.

I shall write about it here, and properly too, once I settle down a bit.

I expect OS ers to come together on this and leave their views regarding this issue when I do.

I have informed friends and family that I arrived safely and in one piece - with that duty done what remains now is work to be done that I came here to do. 

Kolkata isnt half as chilly as Lucknow is. It feels good. The train reached before time - for the first time in my life I think I did not face a delay and it was raining on the morning of the day I was due to board my train at Lucknow and I was worried, but by the time I was due to leave office and headed for the station the weather cleared and the rain stopped and even though there was a heavy fog at night, our train made it and as I said not just on time but in some places, before time and am glad. 

Before leaving Lucknow I wrote little thank you cards to everyone I could think of that had helped or been nice to me in some way while I was there, I usually always do that before I travle on a train and I have started doing this ever since I lived through the Gujarat blasts. In India now life is not that certain anymore and you never know what might happen anymore, so I like to know that I have said what I must say to people that matter in case I do not get a chance to do so in this life. 

I had got a hug from the lady that watches our gate at office and I shant forget that neither would I forget how another person that does errands for our director ran out with "should I go get you one?" when I was ran out of card making paper. He had even asked "You had once asked for biryani, should I get you some?" It had made me smile, and there is a story why, but I would leave that for another day. And Sumirandada was even at the station with my salary check. He needn't have, he could have reused because it was after office hours and yet they came and their generosity and kindness made me cry. And that is how come I do not understand the attitude of that lady at the Young Women's Christian Association. 

I was surprised, touched to tears. I didnt even realise these people even noticed me, and sometimes I have been angry with them and when am angry I am incapable of not showing my temper, I tend to explode and there usually is fireworks and yet I got what I got from these people and I know what I got is not exactly throwaway common. At least not for me. I tend to raise hackles, ruffle feathers with my hard hitting outspoken forthright manner and unconventional ways wherever I go.

So this was special. I don't bloody care if affection comes from the watchman or an errandsboy,  affection,  whatever quarters it comes from is precious to me and I accept that with both handed reverence and feel lucky that these people care about me, and I had silently thanked my God.

Perhaps He does like me after all and wants me stay on course and do what I do is why he makes these little unexpected things happen so I do not lose hope altogether? I like to think that it is so. So tonight I shall sleep in peace and wait for the holidays to unfold tomorrow with an open heart and clear conscience and a happy mind. Good night everyone and peace and joy to you all.

PS: this is the first draft as usual typed out straight as it is, too tired to edit today, shall do so tomorrow, so please excuse misspellings etc for one night. Thank you.