YWCA India writes:
Dear Ms Nag
Well I do not mean to nagnor was I meant to...sincerely apologise if it came across as a 'nag'
This response is in connection to your email which has been forwarded to us through the Office of the World YWCA .
Am deeply relieved at the response
Thank you for your mail. I shall attend to this soon as am settled.
-------------
First of all we will like to apologise for any inconvenience caused to you which was not intentional
.
Yes I understand. I never said it was - I merely sought a policy change and ascertain if indeed such rules are the same everywhere with the YWCA or if they do make exceptions on a case to case basis.
-----------------
The YWCA Hostels offer safe accommodation to women who are leaving home for the first time.These women mostly young are vulnerable as they have no experience of living outside the safe confines of their homes where they are sheltered by their parents
The only things I would like to point out in passing at this stage is this:
All the people I encountered at the Lucknow YWCA were seasoned hostellites that had spent a lifetime living OUTSIDE and without their parent's assistance, in fact, with the way they had built a veritable "sansar" out there in the rooms, I seemed to be the novice and fumbler with no idea about what to do. They, with their fathers attending to them, and in some cases, their husbands (a lot of married women there too) were far less VULNERABLE than I was, at that stage with no father, no brohtre, or husband or a male friend to help me cope with finding shelter in a strange new city that is not exactly known for being the best most organised and crime free in India :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
1) "These women mostly young are vulnerable as they have no experience of living outside the safe confines of their homes where they are sheltered by their parents."
All the people I encountered at the Lucknow YWCA were seasoned hostellites that had spent a lifetime living OUTSIDE and without their parent's assistance, in fact, with the way they had built a veritable "sansar" out there in the rooms, I seemed to be the novice and fumbler with no idea about what to do. They, with their fathers attending to them, and in some cases, their husbands (a lot of married women there too) were far less VULNERABLE than I was, at that stage with no father, no brohtre, or husband or a male friend to help me cope with finding shelter in a strange new city that is not exactly known for being the best most organised and crime free in India :)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
.As we have to cater to a large number and cannot accommodate all who approach our facilities,we have to lay down some rules and criterias.One of this is the age bar which varies from Hostels to Hostels.
2) ".As we have to cater to a large number and cannot accommodate all who approach our facilities,we have to lay down some rules and criterias.One of this is the age bar which varies from Hostels to Hostels."
Yes, being a rational being I understand - however, the three operatives here are (a) there were more than three empty seats when I arrived and I was not depriving any needy candidate (b) YWCA rulebook says you cater to girls and women, it does not specifically say "young women" or define "young" as under or over any specific age. If a woman is working nine hour shifts, like everyone else in the workforce she is obviously not OLD or she would have been retired. (c) rules and criteria are in my humble opinion laid down to EASE the burden on resources and not to RESTRICT reasonable exceptional cases of charity, also rules and criteria as you yourself mention are diff for diff hostels - and a childhood friend, while she was working for HSBC in New Delhi, had been staying there till the time she was married. She was over thirty at the time. And there were my teachers that alwasy stayed at the YWCA s when they came for conferences etc all of them were over forty.
In the end, charity means to help the first person that arrives at my door and - I was that first person at that stage.
And if indeed this kind of rule was made at some point, now, with changing times, maybe it is time to design for change, and move on to a new set of rules, and indeed, set a PRECEDENT for the new age working women in INDIA?
Yes, being a rational being I understand - however, the three operatives here are (a) there were more than three empty seats when I arrived and I was not depriving any needy candidate (b) YWCA rulebook says you cater to girls and women, it does not specifically say "young women" or define "young" as under or over any specific age. If a woman is working nine hour shifts, like everyone else in the workforce she is obviously not OLD or she would have been retired. (c) rules and criteria are in my humble opinion laid down to EASE the burden on resources and not to RESTRICT reasonable exceptional cases of charity, also rules and criteria as you yourself mention are diff for diff hostels - and a childhood friend, while she was working for HSBC in New Delhi, had been staying there till the time she was married. She was over thirty at the time. And there were my teachers that alwasy stayed at the YWCA s when they came for conferences etc all of them were over forty.
In the end, charity means to help the first person that arrives at my door and - I was that first person at that stage.
And if indeed this kind of rule was made at some point, now, with changing times, maybe it is time to design for change, and move on to a new set of rules, and indeed, set a PRECEDENT for the new age working women in INDIA?
----------------------------------------------------
The YWCA of ------------- also has a age limit and while we would have been happy to extend our facilities to you ,we would be restricting a young woman who needs our support more because of her vulnerability.
While we do understand that you are also in transition, we regret to inform you that we will not be able to positively address your request as it would set a precedent which will have long term impact on the policies of the YWCA.We are bound by rules and procedures and there is always a chance of someone getting affected adversely .
"We are bound by rules and procedures and there is always a chance of someone getting affected adversely ."
This is the third issue I would like to leave my thoughts about before I leave today as am in a hurry - when we are in the business of HELPING and of charity, and claim to "empower", we forfeit the right to say that "we are bound by anything that adversely affects anyone".
This is the third issue I would like to leave my thoughts about before I leave today as am in a hurry - when we are in the business of HELPING and of charity, and claim to "empower", we forfeit the right to say that "we are bound by anything that adversely affects anyone".
Whatever causes such "binding" and causes pain and "adversity" as you so rightly call it, needs redesigning for the very sake of what we set out to do with the YWCA project - namely, "empower women and girls of all denominations".
Nothing that "binds" our helping hands and charitable minds into inaction and unkind inflexibility and indifference and deviate from our chosen path of "empowering women" should we let interfere with our mission to help a woman in need of safe shelter that steps in at our door.
If that needs activism, so be it - because the very YWCA movement originated due to felt needs and its rules kept changing (or as they say 'evolving' in management parlance, with time, with changing realities) until they could accommodate the MOST and the LARGEST number, and the most vulnerable, and with any dynamic, living, progressive organization, these rules keep changing with the times and with the change in felt needs. That is what makes them withstand the test of time?
Nothing that "binds" our helping hands and charitable minds into inaction and unkind inflexibility and indifference and deviate from our chosen path of "empowering women" should we let interfere with our mission to help a woman in need of safe shelter that steps in at our door.
If that needs activism, so be it - because the very YWCA movement originated due to felt needs and its rules kept changing (or as they say 'evolving' in management parlance, with time, with changing realities) until they could accommodate the MOST and the LARGEST number, and the most vulnerable, and with any dynamic, living, progressive organization, these rules keep changing with the times and with the change in felt needs. That is what makes them withstand the test of time?
Maybe it is time for change and I am the nemesis here?
I might not be an exception but an indication of the times to soon come when there wd be more single women over forty travelling for new jobs in India and needing a safe reliable clean shelter? At one point, do not forget, women were not even allowed to go to school and therefore the missionaries all over the world struggled to remedy that.
For everything there is a beginning - and someone like me, an ordinary nobody or a renegade, with whom change begins - so I would leave you with the request to keep your mind open as you are in a leadership position and good leadership is usually ALWAYS about spearheading change :)
-------------------
I might not be an exception but an indication of the times to soon come when there wd be more single women over forty travelling for new jobs in India and needing a safe reliable clean shelter? At one point, do not forget, women were not even allowed to go to school and therefore the missionaries all over the world struggled to remedy that.
For everything there is a beginning - and someone like me, an ordinary nobody or a renegade, with whom change begins - so I would leave you with the request to keep your mind open as you are in a leadership position and good leadership is usually ALWAYS about spearheading change :)
-------------------
We have noted that you have taken back your deposit and we trust and pray that you will be able to find alternate accommodation in --------,which is one of the historic city known for its warmth and hospitality
O and the money? In India you are well aware it is not money that saves lives or a woman or her modesty especially in states like Bihar or UP where crime rates and attrocities against women are the highest. No woman that has no local contact are safe by themselves in these states and therefore YWCA is an essential support system to enable women that do DARE to pursue their dreams and venture out of their confort zones.
With regards and best wishes
Thank you for your mail and your attention and am sorry you do not see the power that is already invested in you by God, by man, by the times, by the History and rich legacy of the organisation you serve that has PIONEERED design for change for women all over the world, and am sorry that you think yourself more rule-bound than you really are :)
PS: the man that had taken me in - do you know that he has a family of five that live in ONE room in a hovel? They took me in forced me to stay with them and repeatedly asked me not to worry - with an empty seat and with the kind of resource and network you command being at the head of an org like YWCA, am sorry you believe that you are more helpless in helping than the poorest of the poor of this country :)
Adieu. Hope we have occasion to interact again in better times and in more charitably orineted clime,
All the best to you and your team that is helpless now but I pray might be less helpless more competent soon enough with God's grace and help from worldwide for they say when you want change for the better the whole universe conspires to grant it to you,
NN
PS: the man that had taken me in - do you know that he has a family of five that live in ONE room in a hovel? They took me in forced me to stay with them and repeatedly asked me not to worry - with an empty seat and with the kind of resource and network you command being at the head of an org like YWCA, am sorry you believe that you are more helpless in helping than the poorest of the poor of this country :)
Adieu. Hope we have occasion to interact again in better times and in more charitably orineted clime,
All the best to you and your team that is helpless now but I pray might be less helpless more competent soon enough with God's grace and help from worldwide for they say when you want change for the better the whole universe conspires to grant it to you,
NN
India
---------------------------------------------------------------------
a) More and more women in India are now the only child of their parents and once their parents pass away and they decide to not marry and unless they have a supportive relatives' network, committed to be at their sides when they need them, thse women would NEED orgs like YWCA to be able to pursue their dreams, jobs and stay safe
b) more and more women in India are now walking out of dysfunctional mariages and refusing to depend on parents for suppoirt and often venture out of town for jobs and NEED to depend on safe shelters like the YWCA that is reknowned for its standards.
c) more and more women are choosing to stay single and being single in India which is an out and out a male dominated society without the kind of INFRA structure and life support systems or civic amenities that the West has, orgs like the YWCA are like a lifeline and often women take that first difficult step hoping they would find support with an org like that in "if nothing comes to nothing situations" as the last resort. Independent women usually try on their own BEFORE they turn to somone forhelp or send out SOS calls in the middle of the night.
d) more and more women get raped and killed and molested and mauled in India just because they are - well WOMEN. And in a situation where a woman has a better job where most men are jobless it is even tougher for the single woman with a JOB - they go all out to repress and persecute her.
e) more and more forty plus women can now be found in the Indian workforce supporting schoolgoing children from faraway workplaces
f) more and more Indian women are now daring to venture out on ntheir own out of villages small towns cities for jobs and to strive to be independent and they need orgs like YWCA which has hundred years history of supporting such women and which was born out of a vision to see that more of such women come to be!!!
So to say now that they are "rule-bound" to help the very breed they sought to raise so to speak or awaken - sounds defeatist to me?
What do you think?
---------------------
A frivolous aside if you are not too aggravated with it:
Would someone please start a "husband or male friends on hire service to help single Indian women get safe and comfortable housing" please? That would be a huge help. Not sex. Not affection. Not for children. A good warm comfortable house with running water and for the protection to live the life one aspires to and is entitled to by the fundamental rights described in the contsitution and be able to work inpeace and enjoy one's work would be good.
----------------------------
For friends that care and worry - good samaritans helped and am safe for NOW.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Kate O'hehir
jmac1949
James M. Emmerling
Kerry Lauerman
Foolish Monkey
wendyo
Salon.com
Comments
causes pain and "adversity"
as you so rightly call it,
needs redesigning
for the very sake
of what we set out to do ..
.empower women
and girls of all denominations".
you have been inspired by all this
to write incredibly affective words...
what i quote above ought to be written somewhere,
permanently..i dunno where....
always always glad to know u=safe.
mizz nag!
"nag"!
we claim to stand up for women's rights, here in America.
i am sure i heard mrs. obama say it. hillary, too....
but they sure didnt say it like this:
"All the best to you and your team that is helpless now
but I pray might be less helpless more competent
soon enough with God's grace and help
from worldwide for they say
when you want change
for the better
the whole universe conspires to grant it to you''
they go all out to repress and persecute her.
that makes awful sense.
A frivolous aside if you are not too aggravated with it:
more and more Indian women are now daring to venture out on ntheir own out of villages small towns cities for jobs and to strive to be independent
http://www.annjonesonline.com/Contact.html
You can email her on her site. I would send her a summary or a copy of your above blog.
I wonder if other women journalists will pick up your cause. It has legs as they say!!!
Megan Stack wrote an incredible book, "Every Man In this Village is a Liar". I wonder if you can contact her, also. I googled around but could not find her contact info. She is Irish.
I will ask a journalist I know what she thinks of your campaign.
Here is the world YWCA office and some info. Maybe go over India's heads!
http://www.worldywca.org/About-us/Organisational-Structure/World-YWCA-Staff
World YWCA Staff
There are currently 18 staff members representing 13 different nationalities based at the World YWCA headquarters and supporting YWCA work around the world. All staff can be reached at worldoffice@worldywca.org .
General Secretariat
General Secretary - Nyaradzayi Gumbonzvanda
Nyaradzayi Gumbonzvanda, from Zimbabwe, joined the World YWCA in 2007. She has over 10 years of experience with the United Nations, where she served as Regional Director for the United Nations Development Fund for Women (UNIFEM) in Eastern and Horn Africa covering 13 countries. She had previously worked as a human rights officer with UNICEF in Liberia and Zimbabwe. For the last twenty years, Gumbonzvanda has been working on issues of women and children's human rights, with a special focus on crisis countries. Gumbonzvanda is a trained human rights lawyer with extensive experience in conflict resolution and mediation.
Deputy General Secretary; Focal point for Europe - Michelle Higelin
Michelle Higelin is the Deputy General Secretary of the World YWCA. Prior to her appointment, Michelle was employed as the General Manager of the Cranlana Programme, a philanthropic organisation that promotes ethical and responsible leadership in Australian society. She also managed her own consultancy business focused on NGO strategy and communications. Michelle is a former Chief Executive Officer of the YWCA of Australia and has also previously worked at the World YWCA as the Director of Campaigns and Communications. Michelle has a Bachelor of Arts in Communications from the University of Canberra with majors in Sociology and Journalism, as well as postgraduate studies in the management of non-profit organisations. Michelle is currently completing her Master of International Relations at Macquarie University.
Executive Coordinator - Ana Villanueva
Ana Villanueva, from Argentina, has over 25 years of extensive work in ecumenism and education with children, youth and adults, especially women. An educator by profession and also a lay preacher, Ana studied Psychopedagogics at University of El Salvador (Buenos Aires) and Theology at ISEDET (Buenos Aires) and Bossey Ecumenical Institute (University of Geneva). Ana co-authored a book on "The Parables of the Kingdom" and has written several articles on secular and Christian education.
World Council/Systems Coordinator - Fiona Wilkie
Fiona Wilkie, from Edinburgh, Scotland has been appointed World Council Coordinator as of January 2011. Fiona joined the World YWCA in 2001 as Communications Assistant and has since worked as the Systems Coordinator. Fiona is very familiar with the organisation of World Council having already played an important role in organising the two previous Councils in Kenya and Brisbane. Fiona will be leading the preparations for the World Council to be held in Zurich, Switzerland, in July 2011 under the theme "Women Creating a Safe World".
-----
Rolling, you make a really strong case! Bravo!!! Maybe you can get a petition started on open salon of people supporting your cause? libby
I hope someday before I die we are all able to get together and leave a virtual network of familypeople connected together with the mission to support urban single men and women in need of safe shelter and emergency relief all across the world. With the way our population is exploding isn't it good for the community at large if some of us do not create another mouth to prey upon the already depleting resources? If not for anything else, maybe the whole world ought to support the singles for that very reason ;) what do you say? Ironic that just when you need social support the society turns all adversary and turns against you in the most unsocial manner imaginable!
That means a lot to me, thank you for your support and thank you for not saying "why on earth did you leave home, venture out and call this upon yourself?"
"Maybe you can get a petition started on open salon of people supporting your cause? libby"
Single women face problems with safe shelters in almost all states of India - so do single men. I believe the community at large ought to respect choices members make and let everyone live the lives they have chosen in peace and safety.
I have been consistently documenting the problems urban single women face in India, and I feel there is need for social acceptance in concrete terms and support.
Yes, to all of what you say here, how do I start? I have sought out Anna and posted her a 'note' - as you suggested but not to the YWCA as am not sure what they could do or how they might react - am tired of people trying to harm me one way or other and feel tired inside.