When I was approached recently by our new editor to contribute to the end of year follies here on Open, I was at first inclined to forego the honor. After several days of incessant PMs though, and the personal intercession of Kerry and, eventually, Joan, I've finally agreed to see what I could do to point people towards some of my favorites of 2009. Or of ever really, but that's beside the point. The thing is, I'm doing this list not only to help the editors, but out of my deep and abiding respect for Open Salon and a heartfelt, sincere love of fine behinds. Maybe I'm old fashioned, maybe I'm naive, a dreamer even, but in these days of short attention spans and instant gratification, I feel it's important that we pause every now and again and say "Da-a-a-a-amn!!!!!"

Let's get right to it. Please bear in mind though, I've chosen my favorites based strictly on arbitrary factors which have no bearing on writing ability, inherent value, or objective standards of talent.

NANATEHAY'S LIST OF TOP BOTTOMS OF 2009 (or ever)

In the categ0ry of Best Bottom on a Blonde Chick, the lovely and talented Naomi Watts wins hands down. Though there are many delightful rear ends 0n blonde women, in the end Naomi's hat clinched it for me.

Winning Best Bottom on a Sitcom Actress is Laura Prepon. Though we all have our favs in this category, I think you can see my line of reasoning here.

Falling under a new category, Best Bottom on S0meone I'd Never Heard of  'til a Couple Days Ago, is the delightful Zoe Seldana. I saw her in the 2009 prequel to "Star Trek" recently as Lt. Uhura and decided that, in the interest of showcasing new talent, I needed to include her here. Ms. Seldana is apparently a modest young woman who doesn't flash her rear around that much, but you get the idea from this pic.

Taking home Best Athletic Bottom is, of course, Anna Kournikova. This was a no-brainer, even though she hasn't been an athlete for years.

Susan Dey wins this year in two categories; Best Retro Bottom and Best Bottom on Someone it's Probably Inappropriate to be Discussing in this Manner. Bear in mind though, during the period of my life when I was admiring Ms. Dey's mini-skirts, I was younger than she was, and besides she went on to star in soft porn movies in the '70s even though I haven't been able to locate any of them I heard it on the Internet so it must be true. Sadly, as with Zoe Seldana, I've not been able to locate any decent caboose shots.

Best Bottom on a Serious Actress goes to Cate Blanchett. Though I again didn't succeed in finding a rear angle view, Cate's derriere, and everything else about her, is extraordinary.

Beyonce. Ms. Knowles needs no fanfare from me, save to declare her the winner of Classiest and Most Talented Performer with a Superb Bottom.

Handily winning tiara for Best Candid Bottom is the wins0me and extraordinarily fit Jessica Alba. Kudos to the weaselly tabloid photographer who pulled this one off.

Art film legend Jayna Oso is another dual winner this year, in the categories of Best Porn Actress Bottom and Naughtiest Bottom in the Western Hemisphere. If you've never seen her work, believe me when I say, Jayna is a staggeringly depraved woman.

Ladies and gentleman, runner up for Best Bottom of 2009 (or ever) is the always alluring and gifted Jessica Biel, despite that her face looks kind of weird in this shot.

As you can see, Jessica could easily place in the Top Tops of 2009 as well as Bottoms, but someone else is handling that.

And now, drum roll please! Winning the coveted Nana Pick for Best Bottom of 2009 and Most Beautiful Woman in the Galaxy, is the scintillating, superbly talented, charming, exquisite  and lovely Kate Beckinsale!

Kate again, radiating loveliness.

And again. All you have to do is look at those eyes to see that, beyond a shadow of a doubt, I'm correct when I proclaim Kate Beckinsale to be The Most Beautiful Human in the Universe.

And that's it for this year my friends. As pharaoh once said, "So it is written, so it shall be." However, this one time, as an experiment, we've created a special subsection where you, the ordinary, great unwashed masses of OS, get to choose the winner! Presented now for your pleasure, and in the hope that you'll just shut the hell up,  is the category, still up for grabs, of Best Bottom from Buffy the Vampire Slayer!

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THIS IS THE PART WHERE YOU GET TO CHOOSE THE WINNER! VOTE NOW FOR BEST BOTTOM FROM BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER!

#1: Leading the list of course is Buffy Summers herself, the waifish yet lethally hot Sarah Michelle Gellar.

#2: The quirky yet undeniably fine demoness Anya, played by Emma Caulfield.

#3: Angel's old flame, Darla, portrayed ravishingly by Julie Benz.

#4: Another baddie from the Whedonverse was Glorificus, also known as The Beast. Glory was brought to life in all her evil by Clare Kramer, shown here sporting some delighful boots.

#5: Alysson Hannigan as Willow Rosenberg, Buffy's sidekick and bottlewasher and, eventually, lesbian witch.

Willow again.

And yet again. I may be slightly biased on this one.

#6: Charisma Carpenter,  unforgettable as Cordelia, Sunnydale's Valley girl and Xander's on-again, off-again love interest.

#7: Faith, Buffy's nemesis and sometime party bud, played by Eliza Dushku.

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Alrighty then my fellow OSers. I hope you enjoyed my List of Bottoms, and please, don't forget to weigh in with a comment on your choice for Best Buffy Bottom. Happy New Year's!