Pleaase god just make it stop.

It would take another half an hour out of an already incredibly busy week to change the cover - what are you, some kind of slavedriver ?

I cannot wait until it stops either. Two weeks.. well we hope.
rated with hugs

Ha!
They changed it to try to make you look nuts.
That's downright dastardly.

My apologies for being so meta recently. I have a post about the debt ceiling but I'm waiting to see if OS survives the weekend.

Well my telephone was ringin'

And they told me it was Chairman Mao...

They changed it? Well shit!

Well there goes that idea.

HaHa!

Just came back to peek after long absence...I can't wait to see these.

As the memory of the previous cover recedes, this post will make less and less sense. That's OK I guess.

Finally.

Here's what happens:

We are stuck forever on the home page.
We are compelled to actually look at the titles for once.
We get pissed.
We are compelled to click on the home page titles.
Then we cannot help ourselves.

We comment about how a whole lot of medical doctors aren't much smarter or helpful than Oprah.

Then, all is lost because we were forced to get linger at the home page.

We are officially in Russia. Or purgatory.

More sense then the cover. . . .

Nah, my friend, with the way Ed picks the Cover, this article will still be correct, basically, you want to mix the cover with Happy and Depressing, slashed nutsacks, snorted remains of your beloved father by your long time hooker, movie reviews by someone we, the masses, believe is a staffer from Salon.com, and once in awhile, stories about Kansas by Yahetanan, he is a real writer!!!!!

"I have a tattoo saying "The Werewolf of Loup Garou."

When my six-year-old kissed another boy, he got violent. This was the album that got us through. "

It's true, I do and my 28 year old son kissed a cross dresser, and liked it. This is the gayest movie that got us through it!! TEARS!!!

The gayest movie -- Waterworld!! ~TEARS~

Hey, it's your muse. Be nice to it. Maybe they could give us our own cover. Call it Backside of OS. I'd leave this post up there all week.

I missed my post: America Ending in five minutes; on OS cover sometime next week.

Let me come spread some basil butter on you, Nana. I love it that it has so many visitors, but I wasn't expecting this. Naturally, I would prefer it was some Fauxrotica I had written, but that will never happen. You can always do my Good News Open Call.

Zuma, purgatory is exactly right. It soon devolved into blog limbo, blimbo if you will.

Chicago Guy, after a couple days notions of "sense" began to lose all meaning.

Tink, don't you mean Top Gun? And Chicken Maaaan, I love the idea of "The Backside of OS." It would feature posts by people who never get read but deserve to, and spammers would be banned, and there would be a slot reserved for the day's best incoherent rant. I love incoherent rants!

Oryoki, in my mind I'm wearing a leather Speedo and am slathered in basil butter. I wonder what SPF it is?

This is freaking great. I am so sick of talking about my six year old (who is now 25 and touring as a dancer for Lady Gaga.)

Lookie, they did change it. Now, finally, Kathy Riordan's scintillating piece on Cayley Anthony, where she uses MYSELF twice in the opening sentence, is up there where it should be.

RIP Lowell George

Get the fish coating mix? Got the camera? What the fuck are you doing blogging?

Jaime, I would imagine after a couple days that sentence being up there may have weirded you out. It was a good post though.

Trog, I'm packing stuff up in between replying to comments. Do we have enough basil butter or should I stop and get some?

I got two sticks of butter, got some green stuff in a baggie but it's not basil. You better make a run.

Also have plenty of grapefruit and amyl nitrate, so no worries there.

Thank you Nanatehay. It went up on Big salon too this week where I stopped reading the comments after 50, each of them ripping me to shreds. Let's move on! I might join you with the baggie of basil.

Ha! funny. It hasn't bothered half as much as when I could actually log on and look at it more.

All we need then is a Gerber Mini-Mag for the grapefruit and some nitrous oxide. Got it; am out the door after this comment.

Jaime, those people on Big Salon are a bunch of rabid piranhas, but feel free to join us anytime for a little basil; there's always more room on the boat.

Rita, yeah, can you imagine if the site actually worked?

I'm off now on a hell-run with Trig to Melvern Lake. If I'm not back by Sunday someone contact Interpol.

nana, I LOVE Top Gun!! It's sooooo not Gay!! Like Football players patting each other on the ass, it's a sign of manliness that is beyond heterosexual!!

I think the Back Side of OS would be a wonderful idea. I might make that list once in awhile. I'm still confused as to why I never make the cover with my wonderful stories of a boy and his lover, Angelo, who wander the country in search of lust, love and merriment along with lots of sex in unclean hotel rooms!! ~hug~

You and Trig have fun 'fishing' I'd google that but I'm afraid what I'll discover in my search, the true Back Side of OS!!

P.S.

I have some 'oregano' too, anyone want to help me smoke it?

Teehee!!

We could blog about it!!!

Someone with Cover cred though should blog it, that way, we can end up on Salon, getting our ass ripped cause we're 'awful and horrible and we can't spelt or nuthin!!' Tehee!!

P.S.

nana and trig, bring back pictures!! I love pictures. They make me wish I could go and spread butter over the bodies of Arabic boys who will be 'fishing' with them!! ~TEARS~

They should us that in the title, I bet it get EPed, PDed, and FUed!! Thank you, I'm here all night. Giggle!

Haven't heard that song in about 20 years. Little Feat with Mick Taylor. Cool.

The apolitical blues took me back to this song from the 80's
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3iaCaEEMlJU

can someone please tell me when the TWO WEEKS is up? day/minute/hour would be good.

i say we plan a pirate insurrection for the exact *moment*, assuming everything isn't hunky dory by then.

wait. vegas has odds on this, i think. i need money, so will put a cool ...

i just looked at the *new* cover and saw (under the oh-so-interesting Tiny Hypocrisy" subhead:

"i faked ... for my boyfriend." and i was sure it said "orgasm" and not whatever-the-frick it actually says. which made me howl. like *that's* a revelation?? ::snerk::

You know what I don't like the most about Sarah Palin? I finally figured it out. She does everything she can to encourage a casual, familiar image--small-town mom makes it big and all that jazz--but when someone treats her (and her stupidity) casually, suddenly she acts offended and demands to be treated as a "serious" political candidate. It's not the inconsistency that gets to me, it's this particular type of inconsistency. It's like a third grader demanding to be called "sir" or "ma'am."

Anyhoo....

Rated.

Damn straight, Candace.

The problem is that no one can tear the joint up when the "hot rod" is a lime green AMC Spirit from the 1980's.

OS: The lime green AMC Sprit of the web.

"Back Side of OS?" Been there. Pretty close to what I call my page. . . .

They knew were going to post this and They waited until you had. It's a conspiracy - They are looking over your shoulder right now to see what you're doing.

And They are disgusted.

My suspicion is that the cover rarely changes because Emily's hours have been cut back to Tuesday and Friday mornings. I wish I could put some faith in the improved site in two week pledge, but that does not seem likely.

OS -- we gotcha covered. Film at eleven -- though most of our audience already has a film covering their eyes, ears and brain. Looks like bread and circus has been reduced to just circus.

Be sure and save this post because if you added a little more detail, it wouldn't be too hard to tie everything together and voila, you've got the makings of a sweeping coming-of-age/murder/medical mystery/nefarious corporate plot/political thriller/sexual confusion/racial guilt/father-son relationship story. The addition of drugs, cutting and tattoos gives it contemporary appeal. But every good story should have a romance and in this case, our hero finds true love and inner peace with 85-year-old Harper Lee; it could end with them both getting matching mockingbird tattoos. I'm feeling good about this.

Then again, you could just wait for the next cover that stays up for six weeks and the pickings might be even better.

Madness is contag'arse Nana and speaking as the "Mad Limey Baaaastard" to quote a bald git from the wilds of Kansas (allegedly) - I am too pissed orf with OS+my wireless broadbands speed to retain any form of sanity.

Now, more importantly I have to decide how to cook this goose egg for breakfast? Decisions, decisions....

Oh and rated with an Ug.

p.s.

There's a rumour about to start that YOU are V.Wolf and Padraig Coleman. Well are you ? And does the Pope piss in the woods?

Man, I hope Trig and nana are catching lots of fish........

I like fish.

A LOT!!

~wanders off~

Has the cover not changed for days? OS doesn't want me more days than it wants me. Tonight, at 3:13 my time, the servers are working, but me, not so much. I'm off to bed. Glad to run into your post. OS is so much work these days. I have a post I've been working on forever, called "Sexually Violent Predator." May it torture y'all on the front page one of these days. If the new editor would deign to read my shit. Bring back Kerry. I had a drink with Kerry once. Gossiped about OS drama. Now there was an editor.

A few times, I laughed and pointed at Kerry. I wonder why I never get EPs!! Teeheehee!! :D

I hope no one forgot the shad sides and treble clefs.

the good news is, nana, that come Sunday the cover will be the same, so you'll miss nothing!
(that's a really depressing thought, even for gothic lil' me)

and rate
(sorry, forgot)

You might miss the cartoons...

hope you and your bro are having a good time

if i comment on this post it might make it appear that i had any clue wtf yer on about. since i prefer the illusion that i dont care enough to pay attention to what goes on around here, i cant comment on this post.

what lorianne said... E

The cover is too in vogue.
I prefer the dark recesses
of peoples minds.
Just look what that
cover staying the
same brought
out of you.

Okay, you're that idiot. I've heard so much about you. You've done some really stupid stuff. Your brother must be the other idiot. From what I hear he can write when he isn't bombed off his ass. You on the other hand seem to have no redeeming qualities.

Hi, Robin. Ooops, I mean Red Rocket. xox

*Red Rocket* aside, thanks, friends, for the reads and the comments. Three days after the fact there's a certain Zen-like quality to this post which I like. I think I'll keep it.

And it smells good too!!!

~huge hug~

~wanders off into the night~

Never mind that smell; I think it's shad sides.

It smells lemonly!!! Has somebody been stuffing lemons up their butts again?

Oh wait, you said...never mind.....okay, CHANGE IN SUBJECT, I think you can write pretty well too, even when you been drinking turpentine with your brother!!!!

~wanders back in, nods and wanders back out~ :D

Yeah, they put the juice of a whole lemon in each jar of shad sides nowadays, and a little spritzer on top to spray some behind your ears.

That's mighty nice, nothing better than a butt smelling of lemons!!! Just don't spritz some in the eyes, trust, hurts so bad, you'll wish you didn't do it in the first place!! :D

heh heh. If you spritz shad and lemon on yourself the lemon will be the least of your worries.

Well, the outer seven layers of skin on my nose have come off, so I'm guessing not. My head looks like a pickled beet. :(

Do I want to know what a shad side is? Hope the fishing was good. And that everyone got a shower once back home. :)

Shad sides are filets of shad which aren't sold until they begin to rot. They're OK in the abstract; the trouble begins when you have to take one out of the jar and put it on a hook. Actually the trouble begins when you open the jar. Anyway, the last few hours of the trip involved people fantasizing about getting home to take a shower then sit on the couch in the air conditioning with no parasitic insects or dirt around. Ah, camping!

Heroin Chic is a good look, but one needs purple hair and quite a few facial piercings to pull it off.

Brilliant.

Aw, Pauline, you're makin' me blush! :D

If shad sides are so smelly why not buy pickled herring or better yet, herring in cream sauce, which is delicious and you can always eat what you don't use. And what happened to worms as bait or is shad more hoity-toity? I want to know what kind of fish you caught with those shad sides.

I love herring in cream sauce, but I'm not sure if catfish would, and catfish are what I was angling for with shad sides, though I was also using rotten chicken livers, nightcrawlers and minnows. Channel catfish (and blue cat) are nocturnal and are bottom dwellers so they don't use their eyes so much as their sense of smell, and that's where the shad sides and other similarly malodorous baits come in. Flathead catfish are nocturnal too, but they only take live bait, hence the worms and minnows, though goldfish or black perch would have been better.

Now that I think on it, channel cats probably would bite on herring in cream sauce. They eat pretty much anything you put on a hook, though if I'd had herring in cream sauce I'd have snuck off into my tent and eaten it myself.

Wow. Interesting that this makes a perfectly coherent post. I wonder if that is how the editors design the cover.

You know a sort of complete-the-story game the editors play among themselves....Hmmm intersting thought.

That explains the shad - although isn't it also supposed to be a good eating fish when it's not rotten? And herring would probably be a pretty expensive bait. Now catfish dipped in cornmeal and fried up nice and crispy sounds, as my grandmother used to say, like "heaven on earth."

Moana, after a couple days the sentences were forming themselves in my head; it then became just a matter of writing them down.

Marjie, shad actually is a type of herring. In some parts of the country people do eat them, though as your grandmother pointed out, catfish is far tastier.

Did you happen to catch this on today's cover:

Mortifying disclosures


When I showed up smelling of piss
Elizabeth Dimmette Coyne
June 7, 2011 • 12:21 pm

Thanks for the heads up Larry. wtf?

A few gaffes are understandable, but when I decided to jump out of a cake in a string bikini smelling of piss for my father's birthday, everybody on the Internet learned something from the scandal.

I noted that wonderful title. How I smelled like Piss; classy.

Combined with the Weener posts and the 10-year-old jumping out of a cake in a string bikini it brings some much-needed gravitas to the cover.

I just now noticed; there's also another post about cutting yourself. Nice!

Well, grown up land, young man, is as Momma and Papa
would never tire of telling us,
is your own responsibility.


yuck.

translated, though it means:
crazyass whiteman overeducated nervousbreakdown
& back up again
to the sweet land of
the nowHere
and see no one has any memory anymore,
so you can get away with inventing yourself over and over
heeding that old grizzled dwarf with frizzly hair wh o turned 70.
unless it was a political message, or in code or just a bit of misinform
ation.

"he not busy bein born=busy dyin"

they convinced us all, the Mother State, Big Mother,
that we are all dying of our nasty habits.

i say: keith richards, bob dylan, mick, etc
dinosaur giant hippies still rule the earth til the comet hits

TIME THEY TOOK THE REIGNS
...a dissatisfied,um, genX-er i guess. i am 44.

Thanks for getting it, Jim.

I can be an overly righteous person, but when my mom got that pass for her car I began cutting again. Obviously, given recent events, MyPlate is the suicidal music I needed.

Good synopsis of OS cover. We just need Bat Boy.

Bat Boy would be good, and maybe something about Angelina Jolie's Shocking Vaginal Meltdown - with photos!

I think you could outdo a certain cover piece by writing about showing up somewhere smelling like rotting fish - although depending on the amount of urine involved I suppose it could be a toss-up. On second thought, rotting fish smell is worse.

Rotting fish smell = way worse than urine. I could easily craft a mortifying disclosure involving shad sides, but my previous mortifying disclosures went unnoticed by the editors and I'll only humiliate myself publicly if there's a chance of it getting me on the cover.

how did this go from heroin chic (kinda good) to herring in sour cream (really good) to whether urine smells worse than some woman who wrote about dressing up in her bikini to jump out of daddy's birthday cake?

really, wtf is it with these people and where did they come from? did someone go out and find them? and if so, i wanna know where so i never go near it.

"bat boy" - rita!!! ::snort::

Now Candace, you're just jealous 'cause y0u're not on the cover.

Oh, wait...

As per Kim's recent post, I should have included an ironic winkie emoticon with my previous comment, because your beautiful garden post bears no resemblance to stories about pee. :(

Puberty's a bitch - then I became one - and I'm still only 55.

Bugger. Now, you need to trade_up sunshine (trans: Geez or Dude) and listen to Guns n Roses or Led Zeppelin. Y'all go blind listening to Little Feat - wot wot.

"FRed(tm), FReeeeeeeeeeed. Stop licking your balls and press send you infidel".

Hey I have the same tattoo...maybe we were separated at birth and are really brothers. I hear you and I am sure they are working on it because honest folks like you goad them on to excellence...

What the hell? Why isn't this on the Cover for us new types to find it?

Oh yeah, it's your name -- nanatehay is Editor-Speak for 'Guy who writes with his nads'

In other words, you can't write shit.

Just like my brother Tink, try to write, but fail at it everytime.

You two should get together, maybe together you can write shit.

Maybe.

I'm kidding, you two would need to find a couple of more 'nanatehays' to pull that off.

Anyways, rated, and favorited, cause I'm like that, always helping the retards and the putzes. You and Tink can fight it out which one is which.

I finally had something half intelligent to contribute to your post on Afghanistan, but you took it all down - I thought that was a great post, and a great thread.
I liked that you stated up front that your ideas had shifted/were shifting, open to change - too rare, on OS.
Anyway, all that's as maybe.
Where did IQ go ?

Justice, just will be served.

I took a long, long break, and look what happened.