You should know that I have nothing but complete contempt for the idea that history can even be assumed to exist at all. I am of the strong opinion that everything we think we know may be a simple clever sort of delusion created by a temporary sort of insanity induced by the nature of creation.
Such as in a dream, when you know certain things about the past of that reality and do not question it. You are married to a dog. Jesus plays with your record player and annoys you constantly. That chick in the corner keeps drilling holes in the wall, letting in all those tiny people with the fish heads.
Oh, and you should know that I love your writing.

Rated.

Not pathetic. Independent. Don't know what nana was thinking. There's not much to know about me. I used to be scared of heights but now I like them. They still scare me. I strive to make my online persona less cranky than the real me. Cats love me, and I'm not even allergic to them. I like to clean, too, but all the stuff lying around confuses me, so I go get a snack.

Enjoy the concert!

Andy, that just fried my already toasty warm brain. Jesus DOES play with my record player :(

Sirenita, I'm not too bad with heights when I'm on my own. Maybe it's a distrust of people and heights mixed together. I don't think I've ever seen you cranky on OS, so well done!

Who can ever forget your infamous Type O Dong Natalie? I know poor Monte hasn't. Of course, I'm even more shocked that you'd make such a vulgar reference to your "entertainment unit."

But let's see, I'm trying to think of a secret or two I can share here.

1. When I was younger I pronounced "wash cloth" as "worsh cloth." I've since trained myself to say it properly, but every now and then it still comes out "worsh." I blame my hillbilly ancestors.

2. I used to never miss an episode of "Felicity" on the old WB network. That's partially 'cause it came on right after Buffy, but also because I really loved the characters.

3. I have this mania where sometimes I get caught up in inventing elaborate faux Hindi names in my mind. I may be sitting in the airport lobby for instance, and start thinking "Manuvishnaramalangdrasanthavamjandranabsanthanang." And etc; this can go on for hours.

4. My childhood was nearly idyllic. This is a great burden to me because I can't blame my various mental issues and character flaws on my upbringing.

It's our quirks that make us interesting, eh?

What you should know about me - I suffer from simultaneous inferiority and superiority complexes. One makes me pathetic, and the other makes me insufferable. It's very confusing.

Nana, do you say them out loud? 'Cause I have to say, if I saw a man sitting at the airport murmuring/chanting things like that, I'd refuse to board the plane. And Felicity? I would never have suspected.

Cindy, I can't ever imagine you as pathetic or insufferable.

"my hot pink bra was on the entertainment unit, where I placed it after I had taken it off due to the heat in a move Houdini would have coveted. He pretended not to notice it, and I pretended not to notice him noticing it."

That would make a great opening scene for an art film.

I do have some secrets myself, though I'm not at liberty to divulge most of them. I've got a third and fourth and fifth nipple for instance, but I won't say where they're located.

I was hanging out with 3 girlfriends one night and casually did the bra trick. Their mouths dropped. "How did you do that?!" This was when I found out not all women could do the bra trick. My friends had been A-cups most of their lives and didn't bother with bras until recently. They had no bra lore. Here's a demonstration:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g8SI5aWGIMU

At least you didn't take yours off while video conferencing.

That is astonishing. If I tried to get a contraption like that off myself while wearing a shirt I'd injure myself severely.

Trey, if you had seen this man, you would know how far from an art film it really was.

Sirenita, that's exactly how I do mine. I guess that's one plus about needing to wear bras at an early age...bra lore.

Nat, well, what you should know about me, is I've learned not as bad as that Croc hunter fellow, but learned none the less, you shouldn't try to hump a stingray.

Don't ask me how I learned but I did. Stupid stinger.

Also, I also fear heights and people named William and insist you call them William.

Stupid royal family!!!

:)

Rated....because I can!! WOOOO!!

By the way, never listen to Nana if he tries to tell you it's okay to hump a stingray.

:-(

"Either that or they picture Steve Irwin and Paul Hogan"

You don't sound like either of them do you? Please tell me you don't; I always imagined you sounding like Nicole Kidman, but sultrier.

Pretending not to notice is really important.

All social life depends almost as much on the ability not to notice every little detail as the ability to connect to people.

I try to like people better than they like themselves. Sometimes. And sometimes it happens.

What a fun read and a nice way to meet you. Starting with a secret, eh? Does the fact that I do a whirlwind bra trick count for anything?

Hmmmm.....

I was a debate geek in high school. Yes, it is true. I loved to argue, so outside the partying, I found a way to make time for the debate stuff. Still love to argue....

Tinky, I'm never listening to Nana again.

Drew, if that's what I sound like in your head, that's real enough for me.

Nick, agreed on the importance of not noticing every detail. What do you do with people who already like themselves a lot?

Kate, nice to meet you too. I think a whirlwind bra trick counts for a lot, so you'll get no argument from me there :)

I might as well just shamelessly steal from my namesake:

"It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it, that you may come across four or five times in life. It faced—or seemed to face—the whole external world for an instant, and then concentrated on you with an irresistible prejudice in your favor. It understood you just so far as you wanted to be understood, believed in you as you would like to believe in yourself, and assured you that it had precisely the impression of you that, at your best, you hoped to convey. "

Me neither. I think Nana is just trying to get us in trouble!! And after you saved him from the Brownee Reclusee. ~boohoohoo~

Should be more appreciative! Give you good advice!! ~nodding~

But it's all good, still love him even though the gypsies gave him back after I sold him to them. ~shaking head~


:)

You're beautiful Tink, beautiful as a newly opened rose petal, spilling it's dewy scent across the air and stuff.

Nick, that's a beautiful quote from a great book.

Tink, LOOK! He's trying to sweet talk you now. Watch out...

Nana, you sliver tongued devil.

Erm...silver. Freudian?

(that's the way we do it in Australia).

Let's see, I am a little temperamental, with the emphasis on mental. I'm tired. I am also a sucker for the Aussie accent and a pretty face. I don't like conflict or violence. I am the sea.

I like to laugh and to make people laugh. This first time the see my face, they laugh. It makes me very happy.

that is very very cool about the concert. i don't think you sound pathetic at all. i think you sound brave, girl!!! i used to go everywhere by myself, everything was an adventure. of course i was a big 'ho so i was always sort of motivated by that, but i was also just curious about life and people. you know more than you would ever wamt to know about me me me. :) i do have to tell you and nana that i have some recovery with the Bipolar 2 shit. i'm in the midst of an Irritable Mania and wanting to lash out at people, but instead i'm laying low on here while this is happening rather than exploding at people and then apologizing and laying low because of the shame and humiliation and mortification. so this is a big step forward for me. when i'm on here during a mania like this, i feel enormously Less Than and everyone feels like an enemy to me. love love love and gratitude

Natalie, nope, you had it right the first time with the sliver!! teeheehee!! ;)

nana, ~swoon~ Oh darlink, you say the sweetest things to me, make me want to put on my best sexy dress and run the states between us and throw you to the floor and call you dirty names!!! I lubs u beetcheeks!!

;) (Nat, ain't he such a sweet talker? ;D)

Interesting stuff. I hope you'll enjoy that concert. The music, the wine; all of it. Phooey on anyone who thinks you're pathetic.
What about me? I'm also afraid of heights. If we're ever on the same continent, we can cower at cliff's edge (okay; 20 feet from cliff's-edge) together. I also feel "more stable and grounded on my bum." We call bums butts in the USA. In New York, we often call them tushes or booties. I use all three, at various times, depending on my mood. Sometimes I also get snobbish and say "posterior."
Now I've got bums, butts, booties, tushes and posteriors on the brain. With a side-dish of hot-pink bra. What else to say?
Oh - I never take my bra off when I'm hot; I take the shirt off instead. Even though I'm pretty good at Houdini moves. I'm too uncomfortable braless to be without that support during waking hours.
I don't have an "entertainment unit." Just a small TV, which I watch for two or three hours per week. Last night I spent an hour, watching two episodes of the 1990s British comedy "As Time Goes By." Judi Dench is one of my personal goddesses. Enough for now...

What should you know about me? Well, the most important thing is probably that Paul Hogan was my first crush ... something to do with being allowed to stay up past my bed time to watch Crocodile Dundee I think...

Thanks for your honesty, Natalie. You are doing something most people can't just by owning up to your insecurities.

I'm not crazy about heights either. And have attended many plays solo, which I enjoy, because almost always the folks next to me start a conversation. In between I play on my phone, or read the Playbill.

I like my egg's over easy!!
R~

I'm tall.

I'm not sure why you should know anything about me, but it's fun being a non-American on a primarily American blogsite, ennit? Your Aussie angle is a good one; being Canadian is cool because they think we are just like them except for we live in a kind-hearted socialist paradise (ha!) and something to do with the pronunciation of "garage", which I have never understood. They are SO easy to play, and even thank us for setting them straight whenever we hand them some bullshit line about Canadian culture. (My American wife being the exception to the last sentence; well, she's Canadian now too.)

I oughtta go warsh up now.

this is just a secret that I am embarassed about that no one knows, I watch QVC and HSN, I have their credit cards and I am trying to pay them both off by end of year and then tear them up (at that point I will probably cry a little). Otherwise I am a nice,normal person,:)

I can read Dr. Seuss books out loud so fast your head would spin. It's the way they were meant to be read.

My children used to think it was fabulous when they were little. Now they're teenagers, it's just embarrassing.

I wish I had a spokesperson.
I'm not really good at "things about me."
I'm more like a "you had to be there!" incident...
;-)

I've never been to Spain, but I've been to Oklahoma. Also: I can sing at least eight beer jingles from the 1960s; yet, I am not a beer drinker.

Natalie, you are even more special up close. And I too use the "it's the Canadian spelling" excuse here on OS too. Unfortunately, Mr. spelling bee champ how many years running is an insufferable critic of all things spelling. Pffft. Ignore him. He watches Felicity - nuff said.

Hmmm, there is probably a big difference between what you should know about me and what you could know about me, but I'll play.

1. I can do that bra thing, and I've also inadvertently left something delicate in plain view. Oops, sorry furnace guy.
2. In first year business school, I found out I had a savant-like ability for statistics.
3. I found out about our family's secret heritage/religion while searching the Internet for a recipe my grandmother used to make.
4. I am scared to spend the night alone in the house.
5. I can make a 3 leaf clover with my tongue.
6. I drink Stella Artois beer just so I can say (((Stellaaa)))).
7. I coulda been a contender, but I've never seen the whole movie.

And that's all I have to say about that. Dong change. I love you just the way you are.

I can do the bra thing and it's a damned good thing that stopped before it got me into more trouble than it did. But it was never tele-conferenced and I am grateful for that.

When I'm depressed, I only eat tapioca pudding.

I still have a crush on Barry Manilow. *sigh* I'm such a dork.

This is just awesome. You're cool, thats all I can say. Very nice job.

I get vertigo but only if there is no rail. If I have something to touch I can look of the highest of points. Why? beats me. So the scariest walk of my life was around the inside of the lip of the dome in St. Peters Basilica in Rome, no rail and a drop to the Popes chair, about 5 stories straight down. I looked down at my feet and kept one hand on the centuries old mosaics that decorate the dome until I made it to the door that led to the top. Thankfully I didn't have to come back that way.

@Ariana; QVC and HSN? Seriously? There are certain secrets I'll give up, such as the fact that I was nearly electrocuted once by a plug-in Auto-Suck, but the Home Shopping Network is just embarassing:(

I learned to be really afraid of heights in the Alps

I have done the lighting for so many fashion shows and topless bars I totally ignore women's states of undress. It's hysterical what news anchors are wearing from the waist down.

As Time Goes By defines my life but so did Allo Allo.

Revealing your phobias and insecurities is so much easier in this room, ain't it?

Kinda like Nanatehay -- except with a number/alphabet thing. I used to try to make some kind of correlation between the numbers and letters of the license plate on the car in front of me when I'm sitting at a stoplight. I've outgrown it, fortunately.

Interesting. Let's see what I can say about me. I live in the desert and don't have a great tan. I'm criminally cheap unless I'm paying for a haircut. And Easter is my favorite holiday... but only for the chocolates.

1. My wife brags about how far I've come. I whine about being a classic underachiever.
2. You can insult my intelligence, my morals, my ethics, my honesty... just don't attack my sense of humor, like by telling my I don't have one.
3. My debilitating fear is of falling, not of heights per se. I revel in pushing my fear to the limit, like when I climbed on the safety railing of the Empire State Building and looked down. But the whole sitting down anywhere near the edge of a cliff thing? Yeah, I totally get that.

Promptly sitting down if Nana approached me at the edge of a cliff strikes me as an eminently sensible response. Particularly if you have a deck of cards in your back pocket; you could play solitaire or, if nana is game, some five card stud.

@Trey-yes that was the deep dark secret I couldn't tell you.....sorry you had to find out like this. I spose this means I never will get invited to see your hot tub again.

Hey Natalie
I liked the image of your clean house graced with the hot pink bra. There existed an art photo. I have one in lime-green lace with peach flowers on it. As yet, it has not been found anywhere except on my body or in the drawer. Shucks.

Also, my kitchen counters have more piles of papers and files and rot and blossom than I can remember accumulating in my life. Before I'm completely overwhelmed by the size of the task to clear them, I will do counter terrorism. I have driven a few station wagons in my life and was never too interested in cars, so it's mystifying that I have a dream car: A 1976 red Cadillac Eldorado convertible with a cream-colored leather interior. I saw one on the freeway a few months back and it was more spectacular in real life than I imagined. LOVE Rob Thomas and proud of you for going solo.

Nat, doin' anythin'/nothin' you're never alone... Rejection, is the fear constant inherent in all... Creative post means you get it!
Oh, and I sample everything/everyone to a fault, and laugh/cry often sigh, with/at most... Who knew? RRR

Thank you all for your comments. I feel like I know each of you a little better and really enjoyed reading about the things that make you uniquely 'you'.

Natalie Not Pedantic. You wrote:`
I 've grown bored telling you what you should know about me. What should I know about YOU? You?

You know we Americans are in a financial depression, and we get arrested, and shackled up to a bed partner we hardly ever knew. The probation fees, bank loans to help your Vietnamese Friends make some woman (Oops) transform into a cold-hearted, black and white growling polar beer.

The Viernamese currenc is not a dollar, but a dollar is exchanged into dings. $1.00, in the international exchange rate that changes daily, $1.00 once brought 1,000 Vietnamese dong. I have no clue what a dollar bill fetches today. The economy is good? A Dong may be exchanged for 1,000 dong? It takes many dong to but a 333 beer and a Honda 50-cc tricycle? Pho soup in the peasant villages would make Americans feel guilty. Pho soup with cilantro was only $0:11.
Eleven cents.
Factories hire cheap labor.
American NIKE's need glue.
Glue needs OSHA safety laws.
Wall Street don't ventilate there.
A American on K-street buys wine.
The bottle cost $200.00 per pair.
The Nike sneakers cost $200.00.

When I go to K- or H- street I wish:`
That people from Australia would visit America. I'd be the Lobby Tour guide. Australians can get away with the loudest Yodeling.

Hiss and shrill sounds like a Australian mountain devil monkey? Inebriated Kangaroo? Tasmanian Peter Cotton Tail. huh? Pretend?

When I stub my toe (I have a drop foot war would. Without shoes on, my toe hags real dumb down (dong) and become so nasty when I st the toe. O dong it!) I shout Owl O La La La Halloween O! Hello O K- Street HaO water Hole, Loony, Stinky! Creepy! Alleluia Jimmy Cricket! I'm jest saying? Asking YOU? YOU can buy a plain ticket!

Bring some older women who will hop on the bib overhauled boondocks lap? O lonely hicks club. Bring boomer wedding rings and boomer rungs? Buy USA beer? I say that I'm about the age I forgot what YOU ask!
I'm offering medicine!
Greens and purple tops!
Purple top turnip roots!

Americans grow senile.
Australia YODEL good.
Ya probably scream so.
Ya no master no senile.
Ya heart seem warmer.
Scream like Ya a hoots!
I scream if I stub a nose!
Ya buy Tour guide beer!
Spill wine on T- shirt too!
Yodel like a K- cat ha! heh!
Scream. Wake up moo cow!
I spiel rung because key sticks!
My key boar has wine and cheese!
Streak on K- street like my donkey!
Lap dance on my laptop to make merry?
My belly button tilts to the left as a hart!
A hart was a deer doe who warm a heart!
If Ya shout in a K- street bar Ya act batty!
Yodel with question marks ? Ya exclaims!
Yodel with warmth? [!] What bad passion?
This was fun? Hope Ya forgive? Pope poop?
Bear puff pot? Polar bears pew? Pope loves?
O nasty mean ewe. Pope Benedict love booze?
Natalie Not Pedantic. No merry the polar guy?
I am way off-topic. No ask personal questions?
I wish I could sit on the couch with Joan Walsh?
No.
You.
Hoot.
Hootin' Natalie.
You are a party.
Ya laugh my lap.
This is not a sin.
Yikes! K- street!
NNP will scream!
NNP do no harm!
forgive my spiels!
I forgot the what?
You last question!

When I was six, I suddenly started speaking with a British accent. It freaked people out, but eventually went away.

Great personal expose.

I like knowing a little more about you! I don't mind answering questions about me, but have trouble coming up with things to say about me, unless it's in the course of conversation where someone says something about themselves, and I can come up with comparable data. Thus, I'm not really afraid of heights, but can relate to feeling more secure sitting near a cliff than standing near a cliff.

I'm with everyone else who's fascinated to learn more about you.

I attribute many slips of the tongue (and typing fingers) to strangenesses in the New England way of speaking English. One of my favorites is the "r" rule which practically required that we add an "r" to all words that have none, and remove the "r" from all words that do. For example, the word for a winter jacket is "parka." Here we would pronounce that "pahker." A few years ago I had a penpal in Australia and when we'd chat on the phone now and then his daughter clamored to talk to me so she could hear the American accent that she'd only heard on "Oprah" and I had to warn her that in this part of the States we speak very differently. She thought that was endlessly funny.

Have fun going to the concert. It'll be a blast.

Natalie, Rob Thomas and Joan Walsh are very good friends. You have 3+ months to parlay your connection here and your independent- single-ticket-holder-in-the-front-row status into something even more memorable so go for it!