About 4 years ago, a cat showed up in our back yard. The area has a lot of strays as there was an abandoned house down the block.
The missus gave the cat some ice cream as it was a hot day, and of course, the cat started showing up everyday. He looked to be about 5 years old, and had been through the feral wars at some point, as he was missing a fang.
However, he was the friendliest stray we had ever seen, very affectionate and outgoing. We figured that he must have been a house cat at some point, and been lost or excised by his owner.
Over the next few weeks, we continued to feed him. However, he started to look worse for the wear. He had apparently been in a couple of nasty fights with either cats or coons and was all torn up. He wasn't as friendly now, but we were still feeding him. We noticed that he actually had flies buzzing around him, which obviously did not bode well.
The kids at this point were frantic that we do something for him... as in "adopt him".
I was extremely reluctant to do this, as I am not a "cat" person. However, I agreed to take the cat to the emergency vet, and if the vet felt that the cat could live through his injuries, we would take him in. If not, I would pay to put him down.
And so began the "Life With Kitty" years.
He survived, and we took him in, letting him out during the days to do whatever he wanted, and at night he would return and sleep in the house.
Kitty is the type of cat who wants to sit with you all day long. He is the most social animal I have ever seen. He's never bitten anyone, when he gets tired of being petted, he sort of "gums" your hand and then immediately starts to lick you so that you know he isn't angry.
The last four years have brought more happiness than I could have ever imagined from a pet. It has also brought:
- two ruined couches as Kitty prefers them to any scratching posts we have bought
- a $4000 cost after Kitty picked up fleas from one of his feral pals and our house was infested (also, that was the LAST time he was an outdoor cat) and we had to repaint, recarpet my daughters room, fumigate twice and wash every single piece of clothing, sheet and fabric we had in industrial strength machines.
- another $1500 bill when he developed seizures and almost died on my daughter's birthday
- several hundred dollars worth of anti-seizure medicine
- several hundred dollars of diabetic medicine
- and the obligatory cat fur all around the house
and as far as I am concerned, it's been a fair trade for being able to have the best cat ever.
In January of '08, the missus discovered a lump under his fur. The vet told us that it was a tumor and to eliminate it would cost upwards of $9000 as they were recommending chemo and radiation to ensure it wouldn't come back. If not, $3000 for the surgery and the tumor was going to return with-in two years.
At this point we drew the line... almost 10 large for a cat that had been through so much (and no sure bet to make it through the surgery or chemo) seemed a bad gamble. The vet gave Kitty 3-6 months and we decided to let Kitty live out the rest of his life as comfortably as possible.
It is now 15 months later. Kitty is still alive. However, the tumor on his back has grown into a festering, smelly golfball sized monster that exudes the odor of death. The other side of the story is that we were always told that when cats get sick, they go off by themselves and don't eat.
Well, Kitty is as ravenous as ever and more affectionate than ever.
So, we have a dying, smelly, cancer ridden pet that we don't have the heart to put down. The grave is dug, the kids have come to grips with it, but we just can't pull the trigger. We know that he hates the tumor, we have him in a shirt so he can't get to it, but any chance he gets, he rips at it. The house stinks from the scent of decay and death, and that's despite us bathing him every day (which, he hates). He's down to about 6 pounds from 20 but he is still as loving as ever.
Yesterday was the day we were supposed to do it, but we couldn't.
The question is, who are we keeping him alive for: us or him?
Unfortunately, I know the answer to that.
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I did find that, even though she hated it, cleaning the yuk out helped the smell and helped her feel better. Q-tips, a little neosporin, and some warm water was what I used, and keeping the fur around it clipped (she was long haired). When she didn't smell so bad, she seemed to want to eat more and we didn't have to bathe her as often.
I love my two strays (one from Tucson, one Brooklyn), and wouldn't give them up no matter how many times they've shredded/puked on everything I own. I used to think that I found them and took them in, but lately, I wonder if, in a way, it was the other way around.
PSA--Come on, folks: Have your pets spayed and neutered! There aren't enough homes for them all!
I'm with OESheepdog - he'll let you know, his eyes will lose their luster and you'll know it's time. What's a bit of stinky in return for all he's given you? And I do think you made the right choice in not doing the chemo.
Hugs to you and major skritchies for the kitty.
Kitty sounds like one of those Hall of Famers. Treasure these last days, take lots of photos, give him extra hugs and all the Fancy Feast he can eat.
I agree -- Despite the cost both financial and emotional -- he was worth it.
Good luck. Be strong. I don't envy your difficult situation.
And we routinely spend way too much on their care before they die. I just can't figure out a way not to.
Our pets keep us sane, and we have two stray cats, one of which my husband regards as his best friend (I kid you not).
I'll say my prayers for you and your kitty.
denese
But do it now rather than later. I've had kitties die in my arms after heroics, and I was always sorry later that I didn't do it way before everything got to that point.
And two hints for the next Kitty: 1. Vacuuming kills fleas. (There was a study on this - really!) 2. Find a good country vet if you can. I've found they are much more amenable to telling you the truth about life span and don't give you a big guilt trip, either consciously or unconsciously, about it. And they don't charge $9000 for ANYTHING.
Good luck.
Kitty sounds like a wonderful fellow with nine lives worth of personality packed into one cat. Still...Alas, I fear saying that last farewell may be the kindest thing you can do for him, now. I apologize if it sounds presumptuous from a complete stranger. I had a friend who kept her 23 year old cat going long past the quality of life issue because she couldn't bear to say farewell to him. You've given so much for this cat. The last thing you can do is to give him relief from suffering.
Fast forward 2 weeks later. I had forgotten all about my request. I go out on the deck to call our dog in and who goes running by me but LionKing, running, free, healthy and jumped off the 7 ft. deck into nothingness - poof! He's okay. [we buried him in the backyard].
It was much harder than we thought having him die at home but I'm glad we did. I wanted him to die surrounded by his family at home.
There's NEVER a good time.
Hugs to you.
(thumbified with sympathy)
Rated for awesome of a kitty.
Another blog post about a dog with cancer had a link to a quality of life scale that I actually found quite useful for thinking about my own elderly Aussie. It can be found at:
http://www.veterinarypracticenews.com/vet-practice-news-columns/bond-beyond/quality-of-life-scale.aspx
If you aren't sure you can trust yourself or your perceptions, something like this can help to give you an objective scale.
Kitty sounds like a wonderful boy. I'm sending wishes for a good rest of his life, and a peaceful ending.
You did a lovely, generous, wondeful thing for Kitty. Focus on the happiness of the life you had together and don't beat yourself up too much over his death.
My thoughts are with you...
(rated)
We had a cat Butch who developed oral cancer in his lower jaw. The oncologist could have removed a chunk of his jaw (with or without chemo/radiation), but since eating was his favorite activity ever, we opted against it. The oncologist gave us 3 months, and a prescription for a painkiller, compounded in tuna flavor, as palliative care. Butch loved his tuna treat! Six months later, the oncologist called our vet in a panic. The pharmacy called him because we had requested a refill of the painkiller but were out of refills. The doc assumed we were keeping Butch alive in a miserable condition. But our vet had just seen him (six-month checkup) and assured the oncologist that Butch was doing fine. Two months later, Butch suddenly started eating less and less, and spending less time with us, and a week later, we let him go. It was time.
These things are so hard.
If he's still eating, he's decided to keep on living. There's nothing wrong with letting it be his choice. When it's time to say goodbye, take comfort in the fact that you've given him a great life with people who love him. What more can any of us ask for?
All the best, time heals the wounds.
I also agree that a country vet would never charge this much for removing an early stage tumor.
My cautionary tale: I had one cat who died in agony before I could get her to the vet, over a weekend; she had an embolism which used to be a lot more common than it is now, because they put taurine in pet foods now. But my point is, don't "wait" over a weekend. If Kitty picks an inconvenient (to the vet) time to become acutely ill, then you all may have to suffer the way I did when she died. I vowed never to let that happen again, and now, when I have a truly sick pet, I have a heart-to-heart with him or her, and we make the decision together. And it isn't so bad, you know, if you are there holding Kitty at the vet's office when the time comes. It is very peaceful.
People should have such luck as to opt out in such a way.
When you are mourning him, remember that he had a good life with you, and died with people who loved him and did their best for him.
Worse though than me, if something happened to him, the other cat would certainly not handle it well. They are soulmates.
I know it's a tough decision. When you do make your decision finally, perhaps you should have a day where the whole family hangs out with him all day long, as his last day. Then, in the morning, everyone go and be there with him at the last part.
Rated for the lump in my throat...
I'm truly sorry. Seems like the universe should be better organized so that dying wasn't so hard.
yeah, the food is the clue.
and cherish that picture forever - there's nothing like that touch.
Kitty is hanging in there... we bathed him last night and without getting too graphic and disgusting, alot of the exterior of the tumor loosened and we were actually able to remove about half of the black, blasphemous thing. Of course, that's the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, but despite the "open wound", he seems much happier without that part on him. And he smells better... which he is REALLY happy about... as are we.
And even though he hated the bath and the resultant "backwoods surgery" we ended up performing (figuring if we rushed him to the vet, he wasn't coming back alive), ten minutes later he was purring and happily sitting in the wife's lap.
Maybe we bought him a few more days of cat serenity.
He's amazing.
We had an orange tabby who was the love of our lives too. In a few weeks, it will be five years ago that we had to make that awful decision. (He had chronic renal failure.)
As others have said, when a cat stops eating, that is a sure sign that it is time.
My best to you all.
You will know when it is the right time to do what must be done. I've had to do it twice now, and yes, it is fucking horrible, but there will come that moment when you just know it is time. I know that doesn't make any sense really, but just trust in yourself. You and your family have given this kitty such joy, contentment and love. Know this and believe in this.
You've inspired me to maybe, just maybe, write about my recent kitty tragedy. Thank you, again.
and because i can't help myself, this is my advice: just totally ignore all the people who are telling you it's time now. maybe they're right, but it's just weird to implore strangers to kill their pets. the most helpful thing i found, was a yahoo group called "feline cancer". when your pet is sick you can't discuss treatment options with them, but you can see how other people have decided to care for their cats. you can read about the heroic treatments and the last minute triumphs before you're faced with that decision, and get used to what your family is comfortable with. it might be a little voyeuristic, but it helped me immensely. i also participated in the group, adding my story and my cat's treatment experience, and when i finally put her to sleep, i had a network that understood. i was persuaded to see a holistic vet and my cat came back from the brink of death for a good two months. i am very grateful for that time, and i would never have gotten it listening to my first vet's advice.
and yeah, screw the rainbow bridge. i am not comforted by the idea that my cat is frolicking with my parents' pets in some fantastic land, anymore than thinking of heaven comforted me when my grandmother passed: death is sad and it's hard to deal with.
So, I made the hard choice to let him go. I got to hug him while they injected him, and then we buried him in the back yard and planted a tree over him.
Hugs
Either way, see if the vet can come to your house to put him to sleep, its much better for you and Kitty that way. Familiar surrounds and family with him. The vet did that for my parents 18 year old cat Danny - he just went quietly to sleep on my Mothers lap, purring away. Then stopped.
What is it with pet costs in the USA? They seem extreme comparied to Australia, but its all private here as well - no socialied commie health care for pets!
With 4 cats and 3 dogs and a hot humid climate we've had to deal with a few flea infestations - spray the bedding, the lawns, treat the animals and bug bomb the house - total cost was $200 maybe. Certainly not $4000!
And our oldest cat Timmy (14) had a transitional cell bladder tumour last year, painfully lethal if not treated. Usually terminal in dogs and so rare in cats the specialist wasn't sure what the outcomes could be. We went with surgery and chemo, both of which were successful, the total cost was AU$6000.
Not trying to push you in any direction here, just astounded at the bills you are getting.
how i wish it didn't cost $10K for this wonderful kitty to be well.
you are good folks.
I think you can listen at the following link:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=102105836
We love you Kitty!
I had a terrible time letting her go, and when we finally "pulled the trigger", I wept and wept, and I felt a little like Pontius Pilate and the grim reaper all rolled into one.
Leia had no fear, each day she lived in the present.
I miss her dearly.
too many times, it is so tough. My heart is with you.
And every time I read that rainbow bridge poem I get all teary.
Stay strong. Kitty will always love you, and you him.
He's is pigging out constantly (the medicine makes him hungry), but that's good, since he is down to 6 1/2 lbs. He is still extremely social and is busting our chops to go out (we hold him outside now that the weather is nice here in the NorthEast.
He could go any day, but on the other hand, as he is on about his 14th life, so who knows?