I was shoveling.
They weren't suffering.
They tried to convince me they were.
Until today Jovi would only mount the snowmounds along the sidewalk where it's packed down hard from several thousand cycles of shoveling, piling, blowing, melting (it actually rained on December 30,) freezing and more snowing. For some reason, probably having to do with desperation, today he climbed the big mountain along the driveway, under the tree and watched the neighbor leave for work. (He's a nosy dog.) That done he bounded across the yard through the soft, deep snow and trotted up to the door. I had put the phone back in my pocket and he didn't give me time to video the action.
I also needed my hands free to scoop up the little dog's poop before he could eat it.
It was 4 degrees above 0.
Winter is kicking my ass. I am responding with a total and complete lack of anything constructive. No optimism, no strength, no stoicism, no reason, no determination, no winter sports, no bright side. No money for a trip to L.A. Just whining and complaining and a big fat constant wallow in all the resentment and self-pity I can possibly muster.
I've even taken to hiring people to clear my snow so I can stay inside.
In 1994 I moved back here from the balmy clime of Maryland in part because I missed winter. Mostly I missed the feel of the hard cold air when the temperature is way below zero.
I have no grand thoughts about it.
Poor dogs.
Pointless attempt to determine if this is what "bumping the feed" is all about and avoid work on a Friday afternoon with a misty picture sent from the phone and quickly uploaded without giving it much time and/or attention.
Besides, I never get tired of looking at those two, why should anyone else?TIP:
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Seven winters I spent in the Twin Cities. My housemate was from Duluth and the more the dark descended on us, the more cheerful she'd become. She curled and skated and loved to slide all the way to campus. She thought falling on the ice was the funnest thing ever.
I became psychotic, depressed and housebound. My therapist told me I needed to give myself permission to fall on the ice. I gave him a Bronx cheer and told him to "permission this."
Honestly I don't know how anyone makes it to spring. Not much help here except to say you're experiencing what any sane person would experience.
Every day you're that much closer to warm air and spring.
And pigeon sized mosquitos. At least you have two comedians disguised as dogs living with you. Hang in there.
I know cold and snow well from eight years in Canada, six of those in St Johns Newfoundland. Cold saps your spirit after a while. Makes the coming of Spring all the better.
Even down in a funk mood brings out good writing for you. I liked this one.,
They're predicting an early spring this year ... don't tell the mosquitoes!
Mission, the dogs do keep me moving some but this winter they also brought guilt that works in the other direction (they'd love to go to the dog park way more often than I can manage.)
Chicago - there's not that much choice - I know spring is coming because the gas company is calling to complain about the size of my bill! I know I'll make it, I'm starting to think about starting seeds for the garden.
Thanks to all of you for reading and commenting. You have brightened my day!
It rained today, a day off of school, so we built a fire and watched it pour. Movies and cuddling with the kids. Life is good.
Hang in there - spring is coming, friend o' mine!