I always think I should just stuff my jeans with sacks of sugar and pounds of butter, instead of making cookies for the holidays. I could avoid all the shopping and baking, and I’d have the same bulges I always wind up with after Christmas anyway.

But I’m a sucker for buttery nuts, and I’m single these days, so to indulge my cravings I have to bake. I lug enough supplies into my cart and then to my car and into my house that you’d think I’d work off a few of the pounds I’ll put on. Standing at the counter with the twenty-year-old Sunbeam Mixer, which sounds like my ’89 Buick (I think they have the same motor), I measure and scrape, cream and blend. Chill the dough – roll the dough – press the dough into tiny muffin tins – fill with sugary nuts – shift tins in and out of the oven. I’m a one-woman assembly line, only not as cute or funny as Lucy.  (I think I need a chef’s hat.)

 I wouldn’t bother if I were the only one eating the cookies. I could resist the temptation, but I use my nut cups as buttery insurance. When I show up to my family gathering I know people will be glad to see me. With these mouthfuls of yum in hand, my sister will quit bitching that I’m late, and my kids will actually smile in my presence. Their groans of pleasure as they pop one in their mouths will almost drown out the bickering and snide comments that show up at our holiday table as surely as the Baked Beans. (Why do we invite the beans? Nobody even likes them.)

Whether it’s Beans or cookies, there’s something satisfying about feeding people, and connecting over something as basic as eating.  Baking for my family feeds something in me, too, and sharing the things I make puffs me up in more places than just my hips. From my hands to their mouths (and yes, their hips) my love takes on tangible shapes, and tastes, and smells.

Now if I could just avoid the shape I take on after all that baking, I’d be ok.

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Little Nut Cups – from All Recipes

Ingredients

• 1 cup butter, softened
• 2 (3 ounce) packages cream cheese
• 1/2 cup white sugar
• 2 cups all-purpose flour
•  
• 2 teaspoons butter, melted
• 2 eggs
• 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups chopped pecans
• 1 1/2 cups brown sugar
• 1/2 cup honey

Directions

1. In a medium bowl, mix together the butter, cream cheese and sugar until smooth. Stir in the flour and mix thoroughly. The dough should be somewhat firm. Roll into 36 small balls, place them on a plate and refrigerate for one hour.
2. Make the filling in a medium bowl. Beat the eggs, melted butter, vanilla and brown sugar until smooth and well blended. Stir in the nuts. Preheat oven to 375 degrees F (190 degrees C). Press the chilled dough balls into the bottom and up the sides of tart pans or mini muffin cups. Fill each shell with filling almost to the top. Use a squeeze top honey container if you have one, to drip about 1/2 teaspoon of honey onto the top of each cup.
3. Bake for 15 to 20 minutes in the preheated oven, until crust is lightly browned. Allow to cool in the tins completely before removing.