We can have our cake and eat our ice cream, too. I mean righteous, right-thinking people who think right like me, and you others, too.

I figure it this way. A while ago I was lying in bed watching some Fair and Balanced News, and thinking about Texas Governor Rick Perry, who is a handsome stud-muffin with real nice hair. Rick is always jawing about how the Lonestar State is fixing to succeed from the Union. And then there was a segment where I watched the heroes of the 9-12 March On Washington and some of them were talking about succession, too. But it was like a threat. It wasn’t really for real.  And that's not right. 

Now, I don’t wanna start no second Civil War, especially if the good guys would lose again, but I think it would be only fair if the old US of A would go ahead and allow Texas to succeed and start it’s own country.

I see it this way. We can have our cake and eat our ice cream, too. I mean I live here in New York City, but I’m still a Texan, not a New Yorker. And those Bridge and Tunnel people from Connecticut and Jersey (yuck) work in New York and are still guidos, if that’s right word. And I get hit on in bars by people from India and England and New Foundland. And they’re not even Americans, except that Canadians are sort of Americans if you look at a map like on Google.

So you don’t need to be a citizen of the United States to live and work here, so why should we have to? Have to be US citizens, I mean, when we could be like born again and be citizens of the Republic of Texas. Wouldn’t that be like totally sweet?

Anyway, I think it would be a good idea to give all us right-thinking, God-fearing, gun-toting Christians our own country. We could still live or work wherever we worked or lived, but we’d be citizens of the Republic of Texas, and we’d vote and pay taxes there and you could keep your Obama and let him preach socialism to your kids.

Really, I mean it!