Yeah, P.Bam and Pelosi are turning America into the United Socialist States of America. 

In the USSA, ya'll have Healthcare where you have to choose a guy gynecologist!  There'll be mandatory death panels on our walls. The United Socialist States of America will mess with the financial system so we’re like the French! They'll put Caps On Our Trades to drive good American companies somewheres else to put some character in our air. And the caps will be one-size fits all.

I don’t know about you, but I’d rather be ripped off by banks and credit card companies and health insurance companies and Bernie Madoffs who’d compete to do it better — rather than have my taxes raised.

Of course, as a lowly intern I don’t pay no taxes, but if I ever got to be President of the Legal Marijuana Growers of the USSA, I would.  So I don’t want cut off my nose and throw it out with the bath water in case that happens.

I think ya’ll need to make a choice.

The Unites Socialist States of America or TexAmerica. Choose Texamerica and vote for me for VP.  Of course ya'll have to wait until we succeed in secession. But I think that’s coming soon as Dick Armey raises enuff money selling teabaggers teabags for the new tour — which is secretly a Texamerica project, but don’t tell.

I think Sarah Palin should model for our Statue of Liberty. And if she doesn’t want to, I will. Only I want a real electric torch that shines bright from burning good West Virginia coal.

I got my friend Joe, who wants to get in my chaps, to art-up the roadsign and he didn't like my TexAmerica flag because he's jest jealous of my art talent and he really hates Little Dick Armeydildo, who I think is darling. So I put it in anyway.

Look up top, again. Do you like my new slogan I put on our Texamerica road sign that will be the entry to a new land of freedom and the brave? “Send us your Rich, White, Christians yearning to be free. “I think that really says it.

 I really mean it.