Sadie Hawkins Day is my favorite holiday. Ef'n us gals catches our man today we gets to do whats we want with them and they gots to do what we say. Now, back in Al Capp's Lil Abner comic strip, the man had to marry the gal. Marry? Gulp! But that thar was back in November of 19 and 37 before women's lib, computer dating, and according to my Great Granny Hokum, multiple orgasms.
Ah is likin' this holiday best because Ah talks natcherley just like Daisy Mae. And today everybody thinks Ah'm funnin' 'em and they doesn't laugh at me... so much.
Fer you Yankees who never had no history classes that taught comic strips, which is all we have in Texas, you might not know about this day. You see in the Li'l Abner strip, Hekzebiah Hawkins was the mayor of Dogpatch, which is a lot like Hoop and Holler, Texas where Ah grew up. Only they'uns had more hills and we'uns had more hollers.
The mayor of Dogpatch was desperate to marry off his daughter who was the homeliest gal in the hills. As any fool could plainly see, the mayor was terrible worried about Sadie living at home for the rest of his life, which if you happens to have a 20something year old kid, you knows the feeling. So Hekzebiah decreed Sadie Hawkin's Day. On this day, which is today in case you is forgetful, a footrace is held. All the unmarried gals chase down the bachelors after they boys thar were given a short head start.
Ef'n a woman catches her man, the boy had to marry her, which it is rumored that this is how Michelle got Barack. But like Ah said, matrimony ain't necessarily your reward. You can make up your own.
Now while the bootiful Daisy Mae is for sure my idol, Ah do like Stuperfyin' Jones. Ah 'special likes how one oogle at her freezes men in their tracks, which allows the stuperfyin' lady to have her will with them without listening to any of their crap. Ef'n Ah was to be catching somebody on OS like mebee Art James, Ah'd sure want that stuperfying power to use on the boy before he got all cranked up and on a roll. Ah don't know all that many of the men here on Open Saloon, but based on them commentaries Ah've gotten, if you ladies want to catch somebody from OS, Ah think the easiest, most availablest would be Trig Palin, poorsinner101, rwnutjob, and john blumenthal, not that any one of them'd be worth catching, onct you caught 'em.
If Ah had my druthers, Ah'd want myself a big jug of Kickapoo Joy Juice and a Li'l Abner to snuggle with. But thar ain't a whole mess of Li'l Abners in my neck of the woods, which these days is Central Damn Park.
We do gots bushels of Romeo Scraggses, Fearless Fosdicks, Lonesome Polecats, and Evil Eye Fleegles. But all the good Abner types seems to be gay.
To corn-tinue, Ah do needs to catch me a good man, and Ah'm agonna do it.
Ah really means it.
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Comments
WOOOOO!!
I miss Lil Abner!!
:(
Happy chasin', Noni. Yer womanly powers would render me unable to run. Kinda like a snack on the way to a better prize.
However, my friend Frank can help. Here I wrote all about him. BTW, this man is loaded.
http://open.salon.com/blog/trudge164/2009/11/14/can_someone_on_open_salon_please_help_frank_florent
Shameless self-promotion
Green Acres Rated
Trudge164 Yes, shameless self-promotion, but now I get to do my ssp on your next post.
Michael Rodgers: You are definitely worth a nibble or two. Right now I'm still targeting potential victims.
On another note, Billie Hayes, who played Mammy Yoakum in the musical version of Lil' Abner was born and raised in these parts, my Pop went to school with her and she made a habit of popping in around here frequently. She even came to the premiere of the H.R. Pufnstuff movie. She played Witchipoo in the series and the film.
Bill's dubious: I know the movie characters, but I did serious research to dig up Fearless Fosdick. In terms of catching you, I didn't think Canadian men were in season.
Bobbit: Mammy Yoakum was cool. Don't know Puffinstuff.
rated
As for me...I'm staying out of it.