Last night was the first night of Chanukkah. My husband is mostly Jewish. I, on the other hand, do not even know how to spell Hanukah. (In my defense, it’s never spelled the same way twice. Can’t they standardize that sucker?)

For whatever reason, my husband celebrated… Read full post »

So I wasn’t allowed to say anything about this before, but now that it’s September 12 and not September 10, I think it’s fine. It’s fine, Department of Homeland Security, right? Hellooooo? Ms. Napolitano?

My husband, for those of you who don’t know or remember, is… Read full post »

We just returned from a mini-vacation with friends who have a daughter the same age as ours wherein we drank some wine, played in the sand, ate tons of berries, sang many rounds of “Take me out to the ballgame,” polished off an entire marionberry pie, and saw a bunch… Read full post »

When I imagined having kids, I always and not-at-all-secretly wanted to have a girl. I emotionally prepared myself for sons well before I started having babies—before I’d started having sex, come to think of it (late (nerdy) bloomer!)—because I’d minored in Women’s Studi… Read full post »

As a child, I loved the Blue Angels. We’d take mini road-trips from Iowa City to Chicago in the summer to stay in a fancy hotel and see the air show and buy new outfits at FAO Schwartz for my brother’s stuffed dog, Henry, and my favorite doll, Baby Chicago. (Apparently… Read full post »

I didn’t set out to marry a doctor. If you‘d asked during my Match.com days I would have told you I didn’t even like doctors. They’re bossy, skeptical, self-important, and weirdly nervous about feelings. They’re always sure they know more about your body than you do&mdas… Read full post »

I was at the dealership signing final papers for a new car when my chatty sales guy mentioned something about having been kind of nerdy growing up. “Tell me about it!” I commiserated distractedly while trying to make sure I wasn’t being charged thousands of dollars of hidden “… Read full post »

For as long as I remember, I’ve considered myself a feminist. When I was a baby and my mom asked, “Are you my girl?” I apparently replied, “No. Woman!” I might not have known or been able to articulate the word “feminist,” but I’ve always gotten the gis… Read full post »

I am not, as a rule, an irritable flyer. I don’t yell at the gate agent when my plane is delayed or at the TSA people when I have to endure extra-thorough screening or throw away my water bottle. I show up, set my sense of humor as high as it… Read full post »

Did I Fail Biofeedback, Or Did It Fail Me?

We’re fast approaching the winter solstice, which means one thing chez nous—my husband is no longer my husband so much as an obsessive travel agent cocooned in a blanket on the couch researching sunny vacation destinations on his toasty warm lap… Read full post »

Who's Responsible for Stuff Sold on Craigslist?

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Craigslist needs stricter oversight, and I’m not talking about making it spam-proof or sheltering the squeamish among us from some of the, uh, stickier aspects of humanity. For nearly two years my husband and I have been sleeping in a mildewy b… Read full post »

I almost died the other day trying to replace the headlight in my car. Well, I could have almost died had I removed the bulb from its packaging and handled the potentially lethal (according to the owner’s manual) high-voltage portion of it improperly. In the end I did not take this… Read full post »

Two fears consumed me throughout my recent pregnancy: the fear of having to squeeze a watermelon out a hole the size of a kumquat and the fear of becoming one of those women who rides with her offspring in the backseat of the car, tirelessly reading books in a singsong and… Read full post »

A year ago, I was massively pregnant and living in terror of the day I would have to somehow expel the person growing inside of me. I was scared of the pain, scared of the sweating, scared of the screaming and pushing and ripping and stitches and hemorrhoids, not to mention… Read full post »