This is the first time I’ve ever submitted a recipe.  I don’t cook, and I store my sweaters in my oven, so I’m ever so excited! 

Yummy Chicken Gizzards Prepared for a Remarkably Spoiled Dog 

A simple dish, I learned to prepare this delicacy when looking after my 84 year old Mother following her surgery for a herniated disc. Though bed-ridden, and her life dramatically disrupted, I’d been instructed there was no reason the Dog should suffer as well.  

• Elderly parent (coherent, and capable of issuing orders from bed)
• Any medical procedure which leaves elderly parent bed-ridden
• Dog, preferably small in stature, with a bark that makes one’s ears bleed, and that said elderly parent loves beyond all reason
• Guilt-whipped daughter who lives in another state, feels terrible that she can’t stay longer, and is secretly jealous of the Dog
• 1 cereal bowl of cool water
• 1 bag of frozen Chicken Gizzards. 3 – 5 pieces.

• Step 2:  Place Gizzards on a paper towel (Per Illustration #2).  At this stage the Gizzards can be imagined to resemble…Stop thinking and move on quickly!

• Step 3:  Having wrapped the Gizzards in the paper towel, place them in a microwave oven for exactly 2-1/2 minutes.  Important:  The microwave oven cannot have been manufactured before 1983.  Later model microwaves have a decidedly negative affect on Gizzard flavor.  See Illustration #3 for proper example.

• Step 4:  After the Gizzards have been irradiated, place them in the cereal bowl of cool water.  This can be very tricky, especially if you don’t want to EVER touch the Gizzards.  (Illustration #4)

• Step 5:  Wait 7 seconds then remove the Gizzards from the water, placing them on any plate you never plan to use again, cutting Gizzards into small bites to avoid choking the yappy little creature who has twisted your mother’s mind…sorry, sorry.

 Step 7:  Serve the Gizzards to the pup who imperiously awaits her breakfast on  the couch (Illustration #5).

Be prepared for Her Highness, The Dog Who Has Stolen My Mother’s Heart, to ignore the Gizzards for at least 10 minutes.  This is not a reflection on your skill as a cook.  It is merely the behavior of a dog who has never experienced a stern talking to (Illustration #6)

At last, you can enjoy the deep satisfaction of watching your meal be devoured in less than 20 seconds, plate licked clean (don’t worry; you’ll be throwing it down the garbage chute), leaving your guest full and happy (Illustration #7).

and your elderly parent relieved and able to rest.

Bone Appetit!

 Now I have to take a nap.