Part One.

Part Two.

Chapter One: Habits of a Rat

       Nobody had as little school spirit as I had. Nobody. Even my best friend at the time, Badgey (nicknamed because, you know, he looked like  badger) simply loved pep rallies. I tried to ignore the fact that this was because he liked looking at cheerleaders in their little panties and skirts. I tried to avoid thinking of Badgey as hetero at any and all costs because it messed with my mind. Badgey was simply ... Badgey. If you met him, you'd see what I mean. Even now, after ten years, he still looks like a bristley, slightly hairy, slightly pink and round badger, just ... Badgey but otherwise genderless in most respects.

You may know someone like this in your life, someone who could easily pass through life as neither boy nor girl, just simply an 'it.' 

That was Badgey.

 But he was definitely into girls and made that clear as often as possible. I mean, originally, before we really got to know each other really well, I thought he was the most obnoxious ass I'd ever met. Even after we bonded as friends (due to some unfortunate cafeteria incidents that caused us both to eat in the library to escape it), all he could do for the first few years of our friendship even was gaze at my chest where, I'm sorry to say, I'm afraid things there are somewhat ... bigger than average.

In high school, I wore every shirt known to womanhood to disguise the "things" as I called them. Turtlenecks, big jackets ... I even wrapped them in a big ace bandage for a year ... until the day in the locker room where Muffy and her evil minions saw the bandage and thought it was surgical tape and that I'd been hiding the fact that I'd had 'additions' put in. God. Yes, Muffy, I'd thought, at fourteen, I felt the urge to have gigantic DD implants implanted into my body. Because I love to have the calculus teacher's eyes on my boobs instead of my face. No, that's not skeevy, no, I love it.

 I can safely say I hate her even now.

 At any rate, the minute my assets came in, I went from 'nice, quiet girl' to 'slut' overnight, even though I'd never been on a date, and my high school fate was sealed. Thus, my decision to skip the pep rally that day.

"You have to go," whined Badgey. "Who will I sit with? Not that awful, smelly guy from Fort Lauderdale who thinks someone cares about surfing in the midwest. Come on, Ames! It won't be that bad."

I stared down at my open backpack, offending maxipads of death now hidden from sight.

"No," I said, "No way am I going to sit there and watch you build your spank bank repetoire. I'm going to hide in the library."

"Well," said Badgey, "you don't know what you're missing. Maybe Muffy will fall today and go splat on the gym floor." Long pause as I looked at him. "What? It could happen."

"Not in the way you're hoping," I said, "Not unless her clothes all fall off simultaneously." Badgey grinned. "Shut up," I said, turning away. "To the library. I'll meet you after."

"Don't get caught!" he yelled as he ran off to his own destinies. "You know that'll mean extra running around the track while your stepbrother and his creepy friends watch."

"Thanks," I muttered, "for yelling that in the hallway." And looking around for a second, I hoisted my bookbag on my shoulder and slid down the hallway towards my ultimate sanctuary.

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The black square took no notice of the expanse of Saturn as it passed. It thought of nothing at all.