I think the only two things that can keep me away from OS is either death or taxes. Fortunately there was no death involved. I spent the last two and half days working on my taxes.
Let me tell you it must've been a lot more fun to be doing that than to be one of those alleged writers here on OS. After all most of you shouldn't even be posting here. Let's face it, you're not ever going to be one of the kewl kids. You didn't cut it as an adolescent, what makes you think you've gotten any better since you "matured?" Anyway you know who you are. Yeah, I'm talking about you, you, and yes, even you.
If Shakespeare lived in the 21st Century, Hamlet's soliloquy would be re-written: "To blog whore or not to blog whore? That is the question."
Egad!!!!!!
People wake up and smell the coffee, green tea, Dewar's scotch, mimosas, chardonay or tap water or airplane glue whatever you're sniffing. This is a blog called OPEN SALON. Open mean open not closed. Salon is where people hang out and get their hair done and read magazines while under the dryer. Or WRITE
Let me tell you what Open Salon is not. It is not a junior high school clique. EPs and Covers happen to people. For no apparant reason. Let's assume this is due to Chaos Theory. I think Rob St. Amant might be able to explain what Chaos Theory is. Please read his cogent posts and ask him about it in the comments.
Speaking of Theories, anyone care for a conspiracy theory? Barack Obama secretly blogs as Saturn Smith. Olympia Snowe secretly blogs as Geoff Wollacott. Get over it. They're here and you might as well accept it. Neither will ever be as good as let's say Jane Smithie and Cindy Ross. All the Haiku in the world is never going to help them. Also Kerry Lauerman is the CF Hathaway shirt spokesmodel. His contract precludes him from being photographed without an eyepatch so you only get to see one eye.
I'm sure you've seen the 55 or so interviews from the Open Call that Dorinda Fox has posted on her blog. I think this was a beta test for her students as a potential homework assignment. I'd rather as questions rather than make something up from scratch when I was in school so I'd call this a winner. One interview you won't see is mine, since none of you bothered to ask me. I'm just going to crawl into my little freaking shell and never come out and play ever again.
Not on your freaking lives. You're stuck with me until I either get writer's block or get run over by a beer truck.
Let's face it people: this is a sucky time for many people right now. Let's treat each other with courtesy dignity and respect. I think blogged about that once.
If you don't rate this post and pass it along to your friends, well let's just say I'm fucked and you have no sense of humor. I won't resort to extortion like some of the less talented bloggers here.
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Comments
Well said.
Rated
Damn, I'm good!!
All above average.
Bill Beck -- You are Mr. Cool. You're the only avatar intentionally wearing a tie.
I've always fancied myself as one of the kewl kids here - who are the rest? I mostly dance alone. I'm rating this and passing it along... so put the gun down before someone gets hurt and there's no kewl kids left at all.
*runs from the blog with tears in his eyes*
Cartouche -- Thanks for the treat.
Ablonde -- Appreciate your syncophancy ;)
VR -- LMAO good thing you know the secret handshake, password and countersign.
Tink -- Rhymes with Dink, right?
Lisa -- I hope this made you laugh.
Juli -- You need to get those prescriptions refilled.
Teddy -- You'd do me and kick me to the effin' curb. Catamite Bastard has your number. ;)
My love for you sheeps and (most of) OS is boundless.
You blog-whored me right? I think you just rolled over and begged, puppy dog, the cutest form of extortion.
Harry -- I'm all for dissent and criticism. I encourage it. We can do that without being "mean" to each other in the process.
Dr. Spud -- I, for one, am ecstatic you're sticking around. I like your stuff.
Tom -- I will never be a CEO. That is also a certainty.
Annette2009 -- You're kewl, thanks for the thumb.
Trig -- You're not a hack. Thanks for the love and kind thoughts!
Padraig -- I try to do that and sometimes am unsuccessful.
Tij0 -- I work in a "sterile" environment. But all employees must wash before returning to work. Very funny comment. Thanks.
Dynomyte -- secret identity? Everyone knows you're comedian Jimmie Walker. I would have been more subtle with the screen name ;)
Kind of Blue -- Your avatar kind of looks like Saturn's, trying to use subliminal methods to drive people to your posts, eh?
Cartouche -- You are right about Tijo. I laughed so hard I dropped my soap and washcloth while reading his comments.
M -- You blogged about idiot parents...there is always a place at OS for you.
Jane -- The journey of a thousand miles starts with one step.
Latethink -- I think you're being too hard on yourself.
Saturn Smith -- God Love 'im, if I get your drift.
Lainey -- That's me the tyrant sheepdog. hahaha
Cindy -- I like the way you feign ignorance to deflect attention from your coolness.
I agree... dignity and respect! Well said! (Ruff! Ruff!)
I'd rather have writer's block, which I have big time, than get run over by a beer truck.
So maybe you're famous and we just don't know it....yet!
~Boohoohoo~ Anybody got any super glue? :(
And tink -- you made me laugh. You're so silly.
Will you ever reveal the color of your eyes? I find myself staring at your picture, trying to imagine if they are cornflower blue, or chocolate brown.
MMmmmmm. chocolate.
What many people did not get from the open call was that it was about giving recognition to someone who was not getting attention or was not well known. It was about interviewing someone else not getting interviewed. I must be a pollyanna but I thought that would work out fine . . . because the way to get read, to get an EP, to get attention was to write an interview . . . not to wait around to BE interviewed. The interview would run under the writer's name.
I'm just baffled. And sorry . . . I think . . . if anyone's feelings were hurt. I never understood high school when I was in high school so I sure don't get it now ;0) I was and still am the quiet girl sitting in the corner reading a book and writing in a notebook. Just now that notebook is on the inter webs.
Loved your first line there OES,
"I think the only two things that can keep me away from OS is either death or taxes."
Yep - I'm with you on that. Even though I'm a no talent amateur who doesn't know a comma from a dash, I keep coming back. Truth is, I'm content to be one of the OS bottom feeders - can't think of anywhere else I'd rather be.
Duh niece
marytkelly -- It's always fun to read your comments on my blog. It happens so infrequently ;). Being a parent and a spouse has taught how ineffective extortion is.
Lea Lane -- "Nice personality" does have that "kiss of death" connotation doesn't it.
MAWB -- I want a ride in your new sportscar so I can stick my head out the window.
Sandra Stephens -- Depending who you are when you read this, thanks. If you've commented and rated more than once under different personas thanks a bunch.
LuisG -- Not famous by any stretch of the imagination.
Shiral -- Madeleine Albright, do you sit on a large phone book so you can reach the keyboard...this was very funny.
Sindee ross -- Knise of u to coment on my blog.
Tink -- At least this will cure your blindness.
Emma -- Thanks for the pat and the thumb.
Lisa SW-- you were cool before you came over here. Now I'm not so sure.
Scoubidou -- HAHAHAHA.
Susanne -- You might be onto something.
Ghost Writer -- You were added as part of a deliberative thought process, so now you are cool. Congratulations.
fingerlakeswander -- Hazel green, but my sheepdog has brown eyes. I had another sheepdog with one blue and one brown eye. I felt like I was being watched by two different dogs.
Throughout OS,
it is agreed,
people must Blog,
frequently,
and that it is
not only agreeable
to Blog,
but a matter of
common courtesy
to Blog,
something,
even when there is
hardly anything
to Blog.
Well said and rated.
Dorinda -- I really think your Open Call premise is a sound one. The interview subjects are a diverse group and they all deserve the recognition and exposure that they have received.
Michael -- you are loved...just by no one here.
Con -- Barry Bonds master motivator and rainy day at the beach all at the same time. Thanks for the rate.
diva -- You were fashionably late.
denese -- Just think your parents could have named you duh nephew.
m.a.h. -- Truth be told, why would anyone want to interview me? I am pretty boring.
ocular -- That's an interesting perspective.
denese -- Please forgive that groaner.
Well said.
;0
George -- Thanks for the rating.
dcv -- Yeah that's what I was wondering when I came back and started reading Sunday night. I hope you get money back. I didn't.
Mom -- you're always so gracious. thanks.
Wait, gotta rate...OMG I am 73...oh, sorry I panicked, thought it was agism.
Enjoyed the hell out of this, no paranoia here.
Sheldon -- Don't debase your "writing." It's not drivel. You are a humorist and commentator on the everyday experience.
Wait...I need a drink and a smoke.
Ok, I'm back...
Right now my goofy right eye isn't weeping so it's a good day.
But I am still cool because I read OEsheepdog.
Rated!
But for crying out loud, Cartouche already did! Boy does she know how to kick you in the sensitive spot (with those pliable legs).
denese
1. I (TB) can eat, drink, shave, drool, and/or sleep at the keyboard
2. Tink can...well we know what he does 24/7/365, etc...
3. 1IMutha can juggle pretty much everything while bloggin' with the other hand
4. BAnne...is an artist in the makin', workin' Mom extraordinaire
5. Dharma is a true romantic and student of The World
6. Monte is gifted as our consciousness
7. DeliaB has one very sexy eyeball (right?)
8. ALeader is destined to take over for Steven Spellberg
9. Kinda Blue knows how to carry a tune
10. bluesurly is right on the mark and loves apples and carrots
11.and OEsheepy needs to be writing comedy for Letterman
Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me?...
Rated & Cheers!
I prefer the "little kid" box. Check!
Rated for the threat/suggestion at the end.
sorry I missed this the first time around.
Some of the most "popular" writers on OS have not read my most recent piece, which I am quite proud of. Guess I am still the odd ma out--not cool enough, whatever.
OS is a mixed bag for me. Part workshop, part ego booster, part educational.
Like your piece, good rant!
(Stay away from beer trucks. We need you here.)
But I've been shocked at the quality of the writing here. I feel like I have to bring my A game every time. And great people, too.
I don't think anything could keep me away, either. Least of all you and Spud and Walter and Cartouche and Buffy and Mother and Scanner and Mr Mustard and Annette and Owl and JK and Mical and Tink and Lorraine and Carrie and Bill and Steve and nanetehay and Vr and Tom and Trig and.......