Now that I got that Thursday Haiku monkey off my back, I can have more fruitful discussion with you. There are managers and there are leaders. Managers tell you what to do, leaders inspire you to do good things. The best example of the differences between a manager and a leader was this one:
A manager builds a fire under people; A leader builds a fire inside of you.
I've worked for both managers and leaders. They are not interchangable. To paraphrase the character Dr. Gregory House, "Managers are MORONS!"
Some examples and my color commentary in italics:
"Work smarter, not harder."
Well I would, if we weren't running Windows NT2000 and this is 2007.
"This is not Rocket Surgery."
Look you're mixing your metaphors again. Rocket Science, Brain Surgery. Choose one, please. A metaphor is not a signal flag. That's called a semaphore.
"I don't have time for people issues, I've got more important work to do."
Perhaps after spending your entire careet as a Manager in the Human Resources department you should consider a career change.
"I'm not paying you to think. Just do what I told you to do."
After that million dollar fine from the state department of insurance, perhaps you should have engaged your brain before speaking.
"Let's go watched the trained monkeys perform."
What a kind and thoughful thing to say to the Governor of Maine after cutting the ribbon of a 36 million dollar Order Fulfillment Center. That was a morale killer for the dozens of employees who heard you. Your innappropriate remark made its way across the company in about a half hour. So glad you left the company to take a VP position at eToys. How did that dot.com gig work out for you?
My personal favorite:
"Why should I reward you for just doing your job. That's why you get paid."
What's this I hear about a retention bonus?
Have you any you want to share?