All right let me just say it plainly and explicitly, I used to stare at women's breasts. All the time. Never needed to make eye contact, never tried. Then I had my consciousness raised by a woman in college who helped me look at women differently.
She was two years younger than me. She was the most voluptuous woman I have ever seen in real life. She also had a brain, a heart, and was a real friend. She got me to look past the physical attributes that some women have been endowed with, and look them in the eye and into their soul. I'm grateful to Deborah for doing that.
What I have observed lately is lots of cleavage. I observe it on the commuter train, the elevator, in meetings, on the street, and yes even in job candidates.
What used to be seen only at cocktail parties, proms, social events or at the beach is now commonplace. It crosses all age demographics, ethnicities, and socioeconomic groups.
I'm not looking for it, but it's staring me right in the face. Quite frankly it's a turnoff. Yesterday I was reflecting on it and I decided to put my powers of observation to work. It takes me 20 minutes to walk from my office near Penn Station to Grand Central Terminal.
During that 20 minutes I counted over 250 women that displayed cleavage. What is the cause of this phenomena? Is the fashion world driving necklines lower? Are women showing it off for the world to see? Is it "appropriate" to see plunging necklines in business meetings, at the bank? Does my building concierge need to have her blouse unbuttoned to her navel?
There are probably men and teenage boys who are as joyful for this time as were men and boys 35 years ago when women went bra-less. Has our culture declined along with necklines, or am I just a little behind the times?
Ladies and gentlemen of OS please help me understand. Are we on a slippery slope to oblivion?
I am not one to make judgments, but many of the women I observed displaying cleavage were not enhancing their appearance. That is my subjective opinion.
Thank you for your kind attention.
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Comments
aphrabehn -- mid life crisis, hmm? Interesting.
L&P -- Perhaps it is my life experience of seeing it so infrequently, now you see it as frequently as you see Starbucks.
Lois -- You're right.
Teddy -- I was in Massachusetts and Maine.this past weekend and saw it in the supermarket, the bank, the hardware store, at the restaurant in Portland, Maine. This isn't a NYC thing.
Then us dirty old men would have just one more thing to be pissed about getting old; nothing to jog our memories of the good ol days
:-).
Also, I HATE seeing men (BOYS) with their pants low. I know what it is supposed to symbolize, though many of them don't. They look stupid.
Delia -- So this manifests itself in the south too? Interesting.
Jimmymac -- Best eight word comment I've ever had.
Penrose -- I like your observations about population.
The public is just playing catch-up.
Chi Guy -- Maybe I should revisit my agnosticism.
Oh wait...I am in a bathing suit, lol. Avert thy eyes.
There is a time and place for major cleavage, I think. A passing fad I hope...I will say I have noticed less super huge boob jobs...finally. Sure was Pam Anderson Boob Ugly in CA.
I'm not a big fan of showing off cleavage but do have some shirts and dresses that do that. Fortunately, it's OK to wear that for my particular job (I'm a salesgirl in an art gallery), and I always sell more pictures when I wear the boob dress. Hey, I'm on commission here. But I wouldn't wear said dress to work if I were teaching or working in a bank of something.
Personally I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I love that I can more easily see more boobage on more babes than ever before on a consistent basis. I do enjoy how many bras have become skimpier allowing more to show and sometimes having a loose fit which allows us total creep guys to see further down or in than babes realize when they lean forward. It becoming "acceptable" for more to show at the work place has made my commute to work, shopping, and social experiences that much more scenic, so I am grateful for that.
But on the other hand, it has become more of a challenge to see nipple action than in years gone by. Even into the late 90's a percentage of babes would not wear a bra and then not realize what I could see when they bent over, leaned forward, or wore a loose fitting sleeveless top into which we could see down, or better yet a halter top. In some ways I would rather go back to seeing the occasional nipple.
Then again, there is a trade off during this decade. The wonderful invention of low cut jeans and it leading to crop tops and shorter tops has also made butt crack prominent. During my 25 years or so of being a total creep, I saw maybe a dozen glimpses of butt crack and it was highly unusual. Early in this decade I started to see it much more often, along with some good looks down the back when babes wear a thong. Over the past 3 years or so, seeing butt crack is almost a daily occurrence and I enjoy that. It has gotten to the point where shorts, skirts, and in a few cases even professional attire yields butt crack even if just for a brief moment.
Overall, it is the most welcome abundance of butt crack that makes the way the babes appear in public better than ever. Now us guys get some butt crack action and some of a lot of boobs on a daily or regular basis. What we no longer see in nipples (entire breasts) we make up for with nice looks at partial breasts and butt crack.
I absolutely don't believe guys get "tired" of this. If I ever do somebody might as well pull the plug. I have been sneaking looks down blouses, tank tops, etc., as well as up skirts and whatever babes are or are not wearing, for almost 40 years. My book " Total Creep - A Guy's Guide " is a 17 chapter labor of love sharing my techniques with guys of all ages. I am glad it is easier now than it was years ago. But I know fashions do change. So who knows?
A couple years down the road we might not be able to see butt crack or as much boobage, and babes may go back to not wearing a bra because they won't think their boobs would show.
So don't complain about how colleagues and applicants dress. I have a co-worker babe that gives me a good reason to go to work each day and hope for still another glance down her blouse. Or should I say TWO good reasons. Be careful what you wish for!
As to cleavage, I am working my out of it with weight loss. I assume 98% of cleavge is phony anyway. I once found a stash of late 60's early 70's Playboy magazines at my extremely conservative Texas workplace - typical hypocritical behaviour - but I long for the days when only women with the real thing were the sexual fantasies of men. REAL BREASTS. I am a woman with no horse in this race, I just hate the massive proliferation of fake boobs. I long for the days when Playboy only had the real ones, so the rest of us don't feel so surgically inferior.
I guess it's up to the woman and you know sometimes how we view ourselves is much different than what other people see us.
A great piece and food for thought...
:)
(I've noticed parallel phenomena on OS, by the way. For instance, must we really see enormous nipples in avatar photos? It's a bit, well, sad.)
this should definitely get an EP! :)
Honestly, I think that what you said about the ladies going bra-less 35 years ago is your answer. The ladies aren't showing so much shock at the display of cleave, but I wonder how many would express shock and surprise at a bra-less lady today?
Very interesting essay. Thank you for sharing it. I'll have to keep my eyes peeled tomorrow... for science... and stuff.
I think it started when I was 17 and wearing a T-shirt that said our local baseball team, "SF Giants." A guy on the street, whom I did not know, said, "They sure ARE!" I didn't understand at first and of course kept walking. I was VERY naive and it took me a minute...and then I felt very embarrassed. So...I started covering them up better.
As far as showing too much...what was that old quote about a naked woman's breasts? "I bet those would look GREAT in a sweater!" I like that.
I just look with great awe. I like to gaze. I am a tiny confused?
In black car Mennonite boondocks neighbors breast get hid.
When in DC I enjoy gazing. Remember oldies, but goodies?
The old songs? Lollipop? Brown Eyed Girl? He Kissed me?
Little Ol Lady From Pasadena? Wake Up Little Susie? heh?
How About Cheeseburger in Paradise? Splash Splash? huh?
Happy Together?
Don't Be Cruel?
O Elvis Pressme?
I don't judge. I just enjoy looking. Remember:`Chapel of Love?
by the Dixie Cups?
In DC I hum:`Wild Thing, you make my heart sing. by Troggs?
`
I am so far way behind the times. Not long ago I saw a LADY!
She was inwardly beautiful. Well, she wore the rubber beach
"flip-flops" I never knew they changed the name. To me, they
were THONGS! Why change a name of flip flops? THONGS?
No one kept me a- abreast.
I said:`Wow, pretty thongs!
When did thongs begin being worn in the city? She sneered!
Her cleavage was attractive!
I'm shy, so I look at feet size!
Ya know? Gaze at beagle paw!
I thought it kept farmers safe!
No one told me flip flop are not thongs. So, now if I am strolling the streets Georgetown DC (I was there tonight), I'll toss a dollar in a homeless beggar Starbucks 'c' ~ cup to be safe, and stare at feet sizes and flip flops. Rural folk just give up trying to figure it out. I love the modesty,flip flops, thongs, and plumbers cleavage? tease. I love people cleavage and thongs/flip-flops. I am at the 'gazer' age where nothing is wrong. Thongs? Flop, splash, and do somersault or flips. Geezers?
Hick cup.
Provoke.
I wish I was thirty again?
Ladies make me so crazy!
I do jumping jacks. horny!
It's a Wild Thing! Troggs?
I forget. I love anythings?
Women no loved gazers?
I love both the cleavage,
and thee imaginations.
I best dream of sleep.
Maybe dream thong.
What's right/wrong?
I am afraid to read!
Need mule blinder?
Great inspirations!
Love the boobies!
Even on shows like What Not To Wear during which woman are advised on what to wear to work the hosts sometimes advise women to show cleavage. It is odd advice and always seemed more prevalent in the British version of the show.
Maria Stuart -- Ok, I will. But some women can excersize some restraint.
Buffy -- Aside from bathing suits I see many 60+ women displaying cleavage. Now they could be 40 somethings with a lot of "mileage" but I think not.
Cartouche -- My wife has the same situation and she is no prude either. Nor am I.
Leanndra -- I think what you say about sales has merit. There's professionalism and being a "pro" if you know what I mean.
Lisa -- I appreciate feminine beauty and cleavage, but it's overkill and most of it is non-seductive.
I.C. London -- I appreciate your counter argument to my essay. While I do have a pulse please accept that I grew up in a time where it was common practice to "gawk with gusto" and then the women's movement changed that. I got grief (male chauvinist pig) for holding a door open for a woman, or standing up when a woman walked into a room (something I still do).
I think there have been generational changes (evolution is not a good word here) in the last 30 years. I appreciate beauty and can appreciate cleavage. This is "over the top" if you'll pardon the pun.
Kellylark -- Let me say what I see is not perk surgically enhanced or anatomically correct cleavage. It's just stuff hanging out there flopping around for all to see. This is not "I had just had 10k of plastic work done and look at me." Just to clarify.
Luis -- I appreciate the fact that you "have no skin in the game" and your perspective on women's self image is enlightening. I didn't think of that.
Nada -- I'm trying to understand what statement women are trying to make when their clothing may objectify them. However, if this is only the type of clothing that they can purchase without looking like they shopped at L.L. Bean, well I can appreciate their dilemma.
Suzn - Thank you, thank you thank you.
zuma -- hoisted to attention, lol. Stand by for inspection...ten hut.
bahHMM -- I hear what you're saying. Interesting comment from the woman you had dinner with. Even more interesting you didn't refer to her as your friend.
dicea -- I support scientific study and reflection.
Outside myself -- Dick Cavett made a name for himself as a comedy writer in the early sixties by writing this introduction for Jack Paar:
"Here they are, Jayne Mansfield." It was a different time then.
Arthur James -- I am always appreciative when you drop by my blog and make one of your famous comments. Thanks so much.
cymreag -- keep a stiff upper lip.
Cindy -- It's possible something may be obstructing your view.
scanner -- Somethings are better left unsaid.
Lonnie -- I hear you, man. I hear you.
Lois -- It's all about Cindy all the time.
psychomama -- It's Mrs. Michaels plumber, but I get your point.
Lisa -- I always thought it was your writing that was so attractive. Cleavage too?
What were you saying?
I much prefer the real thing in every respect.
Shel -- I understand.
o/e -- thanks for your comments. Much appreciated.
Owl -- thanks
Bill S. -- Yep.
Mr. E -- not butt cleavage.
I guess for me it's the freedom of expression and if fashion is motivating women to feel freer about their cleavage, well, then so be it.
Every morning I see the hordes of junior high school kids walk down my street. The morning and afternoon "dynamics" of these hormonally overcharged kids is entertaining.
One thing I constantly notice is the inappropriate (I think) attire of so many of the girls. Since when does a 13-14 year old girl need or want to show cleavage? Yet, it seems to be the norm. Cleavage peeks from the tank tops and "skinny jeans" or incredibly short shorts. Call me an old fart, I guess but I don't think this is the way they should be dressed for school.
Mainly, I see a problem with parents. Who's paying for the clothes? And who's the final arbiter of appropriate attire going out the door? Obviously Mom & Dad are abbrogating their responsibilities or they are gone to work by the time the little princess gets her boobies ready for school.
And in my neighborhood about 90% of the kids going down the street to school are Hispanic. I don't know if there's anything cultural in that or not.
Last, Gail Simmons (judge on Top Chef) is a constant source of amusement for my wife and me--always showing an inordinate amount cleavage and chubby upper arm that looks horrible.
I'm getting old because now rather than being an "item" of visual interest, my eye will take note of cleavage and other nice parts on display and my brain just won't register anything other than either "yeah, yeah, OK" or "Hmmmmph". I save the getting excited about "boobies" for when I get home to my wife (or is that wife's?).
Thank you for keeping us abreast of this subject!
I don't see what all the fuss is about, either, frankly. They're just boobs. More than half the population has them. Let's just all not get so judgmental, okay?
As for me, you'd hate me! I wear a 36D bra...when I wear one. I'm blessed to still have genetically gifted skin, so everything from face to boobs to butt has stayed pretty much where God put them. Horror of horrors, I sometimes don't wear a bra! Gasp! And sometimes I show some cleavage! Omigawd, save the children!
I'd be happy if we could just all go through our daily lives naked, without getting judgmental crap for it. I wear clothes because the culture and laws force me to. Otherwise, you'd be seeing a LOT more than cleavage.
I say the problem is in the eye of the beholder. The fact that you did nothing but stare at boobs before, and now you get all judgmental about seeing cleavage look to me like just opposite sides of the same obsessive objectification. Like a reformed alcoholic railing against the evils of alcohol.
We all have bodies. Changing fashion and cultural norms dictate that we cover and display them in different, arbitrary ways over time. But none of the rules are anything but silly.
My exhibitionist $.02
Walt -- I hear you.
Dana -- This wouldn't be the first time I've not made myself clear. As far a cleavage goes, I appreciate it for what it is. Counselor, before you indict and convict me of being a repressed boobaholic, I think you would agree your wouldn't wear your jogging bra and shorts in front of a Judge or Jury.
I guess this post is as much me trying to understand the changes in fashion and cultural norms that you mention in your comments.
This post is as much about how women who want to be taken seriously engage in behavior to their detriment.
In much the same way that your post about how gay people who participated in the gay pride parade undermine the credibility they are trying to earn in the court of public opinion about gay marriage.
Your post actually triggered my thinking and ultimately led to this post. So this really is all your fault. Not really, but I do enjoy your brain Dana and most likely the rest of you too.
Yes, I see your point about detrimental behavior. I understand the reality. I am just lamenting it.
I don't know what country these girls immigrated (or their parents immigrated) from, but that is a cultural difference between Mexico and the U.S. I lived in Puebla ten years ago, and you could wear skin-tight shirts and show a TON of cleavage and fit right in, but you couldn't wear shorts out in public or all the men would be chasing you down the street.
(As the former owner of several plaid miniskirts bought and worn entirely to piss off my parents, I can attest that the end of the world is not at hand.)
You said that you don't know what country the Hispanic girls in my neighborhood immigrated from...
I think that they immigrated from................AMERICA you nitwit! They were born here. Why is it that just because someone says Hispanic there is an assumption that they're immigrants! Yeah, these teens get their boobies out every morning and crawl under the fence at San Ysidro.
With all due respect, I'm sure that you were trying to make a valid point and I apologize for slamming into you here. Please don't take TOO much offense--but I just got an old fart knee jerk reaction.
You're welcome. ;-)
North America and South America are continents; America is just a word.
That's right Walter, you just remember that the next time you're In Continent.
http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o192/Danaruns/DanasCleavageforOSSheepdog.jpg
Sorry for perpetuating the terrible cleavage problem!
Nice...
...desk, is that walnut?
Properly this is the United States of America.
Euphemistically, America is how most of the rest of the world refers to this nation. Forgive my faux pas.
I can perform linguistic gymnastics too.
Seems to me there's a song in West Side Story..."everything's free in America; for a small fee in America..."
I don't assume that everyone who is Hispanic is an immigrant--and in certain parts of the country (mainly the Southwest) there have been sizeable Hispanic populations since the beginning. But the sheer number of Hispanics living in the U.S. has skyrocketed in the past 30 years, first through immigration and then with babies born to said immigrants.
Breastival.
Ohhh yeah.
Rrrrrrrrated!
Ross