It's been hard for me the last month or so since my wife and I are now together under one roof. I've had to face the reality that I couldn't go on being unfaithful to her.

This isn't easy for me to share, here. At first, when I became involved with this mistress, we spent almost every moment of our free time together. Except for weekends and holidays. It was our understanding that we wouldn't be together during that time. There were no recriminations. 

Life went on as if I weren't there. It was guilt free. When I returned, there was the ardor, the mutual admiration, and attraction between us.

I thought it could go on forever. As winter melted into spring, we couldn't get enough time together. I was involved almost every waking moment.

I couldn't wait to rush home so we could be together. Sometimes I would be distracted at work and we would meet on line, just the two of us.

The passion between us heated up as the days got longer and spring became summer. It was sultry, and passions were stirred. It reached a climax in July. But then as my wife and I worked hard to sell our home in Massachusetts. The passions between us started to cool and deep down, I knew, things between us would never be the same again.

I knew I had to make a choice. An important choice. I couldn't have my cake and eat it, too. Not without serious heartburn.

And my wife,who is loyal, faithful, trustworthy; this was a relationship I knew I needed to be in. But we lived apart, over 200 miles from each other.

I was a man with needs, and I needed to have those needs met. Some of you may hold me in contempt, to do something so low. I was human and imperfect, and alone.

But as the days started to get shorter, I knew I was living on borrowed time, and when the house sold and we bought our home in Connecticut, I knew this relationship wouldn't go on forever. At least as it had been.

You see I started blogging 11 months ago at Open Salon, where I started this illict relationship with you the reader. You took me to places I've never been to before. The highs were so high and sometimes the lows were very low.

I have to come clean now and tell you that we're just gonna have to be friends. I have a wife and she needs me. It doesn't mean we won't see each other ever again. Just that things will be a little different. You'll just have to accept it.