As a non-Christian, I watched with bemused detachment about the pronouncements that the world will end Saturday May 21st at 6 p.m. For some of us, we thought the beginning of the end of the world as we know it, started on January 20th, 1981.
While many might start viewing this date with a feeling of trepidant vigilance, I think there are 25 reasons to enjoy the opportunity that the world may come to an end on that date.
1. With luck we won't have to worry about right wing religious republicans on that date. They're all moving on to bigger and better things. My wish is godspeed and that it would only happen sooner.
2. The heads of the big banks and their foreclosure units won't get to realize their dreams of foreclosing on every home with mortgages in arrears.
3. The NFL owners and NFL players will never get to carve up the 9 billion dollar golden goose.
4. Rush Limbaugh will go silent.
5. Rupert Murdoch, a convert to Judaism, won't be a participant in the Rapture. Poetic justice.
6. I won't have to go to the dentist on the 23rd.
7. Calista Gingrich won't have to hire a divorce attorney.
8. We'll only have endure two weeks of Brides Maids promos and ads.
9. The Chicago Cubs will not have to worry about missing another World Series.
10. Boston Red Sox fans will die happy.
11. Rex Ryan will go silent
12. Governor Paul LePage won't get the opportunity to ban Labor Day in the state of Maine.
13. Barack Obama will be able to provide positive ID if necessary.
14. No more spam at Open Salon.
15. Alternate side of the street parking regulations will be permanently suspended.
16. Michael Bloomberg won't run for a fourth term.
17. The debt ceiling won't have to be raised.
18. Medicare won't be cut; but then I'll never collect benefits.
19. My kids won't have to fight over my estate.
20. I won't have to wonder if I bought the winning Powerball ticket.
21. I won't have to prepare for that big meeting on the 25th.
22. We can put off re-siding the house.
23. I don't have to start that new exercise and diet regimen.
24. My cable bill is due on the 25th.
25. I'll be in Maine that weekend, and if the world ends, there's no place I'd rather be.
Of course if the predictions are wrong....
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(without feeling guilty or stupid)
*hiding out with the cockroaches.
The Green Bay packers and the SF Giants -
CHAMPIONS FOR ETERNITY!!!!!!!!!
Catherine -- Probably a good idea.
ThroughMyEyes -- hahaha
Stim -- this is a good plan
another steve -- This is how Red Sox and Patriots fans feel.
delightful post.
rated with love
I will see you on the 22nd.. rated with hugs
R
Funny post. Congrats on the well-deserved EP.
Fuck all the rest of that shit.
Rated.
-R-
Spud -- I'd be happier if they signed over their worldly possessions to me.
Roger -- I thought of you, bike and stim.
Linda -- see ya.
Bill -- Good plan.
Matt -- May those T-storms "passover"
Susie -- 2012 is their backup plan
John -- Thanks for the kind words.
blue -- Better to let your comment stand on its own.
manhattan -- this what you get when you go to the Jewish alps.
Miko --leave it you to choose your words so carefully.
ink -- Optimum sucks, doesn't it?
odette -- I think we can rule out daylight savings time...it's not in the Bible.
nooooooo problem!
I don't think I have to stand for this sort of an insult. Somebody is going to be on the receiving end of a strongly worded letter, let me tell you.
I won't have to tidy up my home office.
I won't have to tidy up my real office.
I avoid forever and ever having to raise again the divorce issue with my ex.
Still, I'm chuffed at spending several bucks at having a couple of shrunken long sleeve shirts cut to short sleeves.
Well, if this doesn't work out, there's always 2012. The world is supposed to end again then too, right?
No! I'll be here. We should meet once a month and play some card games after everyone else is gone. It would be better if we could get two more sinners in on it. Anyone? Anyone?