(me in middle)

Three years ago I had heart surgery, and going through that makes one think about alot of things in one’s life. Since that movie with Jack Nicholson, everyone calls it their “bucket list.” I didn’t write an actual list, but in my mind I have a few things I’d like to do before it’s time for my dirt nap. On one end you have the impossible, which in my case is hooking up with Halle Berry (and I have a cheat permission from my girlfriend on that) and on the more realistic end I wanted to be in a movie and on national TV. I’m no actor, but I’ve never shied from a microphone, the spotlight, or public speaking (though I do draw the line at karaoke).

I’d done a few college films, was interviewed for my art in a grad student’s documentary about painters in Hoboken, and via various organizations been on the news a few times as well - but nothing “bigtime,” nothing really cool that I could sit back in my lazy boy in my  golden years and show my grandchildren. Someone suggested joining NY Castings for work as an extra, so I did. Every so often I’d read the lists and submit to a few things, until finally I got a call. It was an indie film (ie, no pay) however, it starred James Franco. I was in a restaurant scene about three feet from him in a film, “William Vincent,” which I have yet to see.
 
Two weeks ago I answered a listing for a clarinet player in a polka band for “30 Rock”. I have an old clarinet I played from 4th-12th grade which got me the call. It was great to be offered the part, however, realizing that they saw me as looking like a polka band player brought me firmly back to earth. I showed up at NBC studios in NY for an interview with four others, and we got the part! The studios are very cold, like 48 degrees, and they keep it that way because the film lights throw a huge amount of heat so they start things out cold so they don’t fry during filming. The next day we had to report back to the chaotic studio, check in, try on our polka shirts and vests, and wait... and wait...and wait some more. I found there’s a whole lot of “hurry up and wait” in the film and TV biz. We did a few rehearsals that day til about midnight, and it was very interesting how they tweaked the script with each rehearsal. It was surreal to be bumping into, chatting, saying hello and good morning to “the talent” - cast members including Tina Fey (one smart cookie, never once forgot a line), Alec Baldwin (forgot alot but came through at showtime),  Tracey Morgan and the other 30 Rock cast members. I was never a big Tracey Morgan fan, but he was killing us in between takes. “The problem with women today is none of them can cook! How you expect to keep a man if you can’t cook? Yeah, you’re a CEO of a big company, but you can’t even cook me macaroni and cheese and you wonder why I’m f*cking the babysitter??” Crazy. Also on the set were Rachel Dratch, Bill Hader and Chris Parnell from SNL, Jon Hamm from Mad Men, and Julie Louis-Dreyfus (Elaine) from Seinfeld!

On Thursday there was a buzz in the air; alot of the cast and crew were used to live TV from SNL, but many hadn’t done it and people were amped. There were several rehearsals and script changes. NBC fed us pretty well, but some of the models were bitching about all the carb-laden food. After one rehearsal we had to go down to the dressing room to change and get our costumes cleaned up and we were stopped in the hallway because they were filming the Jimmy Fallon show across the hall and were about to shoot something. Suddenly the doors opened, the audience is going crazy and out into the hall comes Fallon and Pee Wee Herman riding a bike! PeeWee! That’s what it was like, every time I turned around there was another celebrity.

After break we got dressed again, and as I walked back into our holding area, the models were all standing there half-naked. The devil on my shoulder screamed, "Look!" and one model dropped her panty hose, and just laughed, I assume at the look on my face. However, the angel on the other shoulder screamed, "You're gonna get fired!" and won out before I checked out the others. "Sorry, ladies!" I shouted and shortly thereafter we were rushed to the studio for a run-through, and...waited there for three hours in the hallway. Saw Brian Williams from NBC news. Rehearsed several more times. Alec Baldwin’s character was trying to not drink and had things to keep him pre-occupied. Originally one of the things was a scale wooden model of an abbey in London, but they changed it to knitting. The scene where Fey comes in and he’s wearing the orange knit poncho was the result and was much funnier. Matt Damon was on set today for his part. At 8 we were brought down and in another ego subduing moment, a make-up artist applied base to my shiny balding forehead. By this point everyone and everything was running like a well-oiled machine. We were pumped as we got our cue to go onto the set and get on the stage where the party was being held. See, the plot was that they were giving a party for the cleaning woman and forgot that it was Lemon’s (Fey) 40th birthday, so they pretended the party was actually for her. The cleaning woman (Rachel Dratch) freaks and attacks her giant Fonzie cake. We were all dying to see her actually do it because, of course, in rehearsal she pretended. It was a riot! We did our air-polka band thing and rushed off stage for the final shot. 3 hours later we did another live broadcast for the west coast.

I was worried about being on camera for my friends and family to see because we were so packed on stage, so I kept looking into the monitor to move left or right so people could at least see my head, which is a no-no, but what the hell. In the west coast show we spread out a bit more, and I got lots of camera time including a quick nod with Tracey Morgan. Ah, the little things! Below is a link to the live west coast version, the polka party scene starts around the 19 minute mark.

http://www.popeater.com/2010/10/15/live-30-rock-episode-video/?icid=main%7Cwelcome%7Cdl2%7Csec1_lnk3%7C177790

What a surreal experience! Working with all that star-power was odd and fun and memorable. The other extras were an interesting lot. I’m used to artists where the work is something they make, but with actors and models the work is THEMSELVES and it is a whole other strange ego scenario. As for the production crew, I could never do that for a living. Incredibly long days (we were there 12 hours each day and the crews are there even longer, and they do that day in/day out) with lots of, as I mentioned earlier, endless waiting and trying to look busy. As for actors, they’re mostly a wacky lot but it really does take skill to make what they do look so natural. That’s why so many people think they can act, because the good performers make it look easy.

When I’m in my studio making art it’s mostly a solitary act, so I really enjoyed the team effort I experienced at 30 Rock. Many people pull together to make it happen. I could’ve written about who was a jerk, or fat, or a schlep, but I’ll leave that to the tabloids. I was lucky enough to be part of something really cool, really special, got to watch lots of famous people working up close, and made a few bucks to boot.