Ollie's daughter's Blog

Her only child
OCTOBER 25, 2011 1:45PM

30 Rock's Dot Com X-Factor in Hornberger System

Rate: 1 Flag

TGS is looking for a new cast member and they hold an “Audition” to make the selection.  The Audition committee is Liz, Pete and Jack.  Pete has a guaranteed system.  Pete: I call it the Hornberger System


The X-factor to Pete’s Hornberger’s system is Dot Com.  Dot Com requests an audition… and this is the fall-out from the request…

Jenna recruits Tracy

Jenna: Tracy, I just heard they're closing down the set today. Do you think it's for auditions?
Tracy: Jennifer M., why are you so worked up?
Jenna: Because it's going to be a disaster. Like Katrina. Do you remember Katrina? That crazy girl from hair and make-up.
Tracy: Nothing is going to change.  They are going to hire some skinny white guy.
How is that a threat? You'll do your lady characters, and I will get on stage and people will laugh even when I forget my, um... my...
Grizz: Lines
Everybody's a threat, Tracy. You don't know who's going to walk through that door.
Dot Com: It's true. Anything can happen in the audition process.
Tracy: Oh yeah I forgot, Dot Com. You know everything about acting because you played a bird in some stupid school play.
Dot Com: Yes, Tracy. I was Trigorin in The Seagull on the Weslyan Art Space Mainstage
 Jenna: He will know
Kenneth: Vampry
Jenna: What’s on that paper?
Kenneth: Ms. Lemon did say keep this away from Jenna. She may have meant that Jenna that works downstairs at that luggage store… So I’m going to give it to you


Liz defends Jayden




Liz: What’s up Dot Com?
Dot Com: The great Uta Hagen once said… is why I’d like to audition for TGS. Walter you idiot, you lost a card.
Jenna: Liz, I need to speak with you. Beat it Grizz or Dot Com.


Dot Com: Hey mom, it’s Walter. I’m just calling to tell you they canceled the audition so maybe pray on something else.Liz: You can audition!
Dot Com: I’ll need a piano

The Hornberger System

Pete: What do you mean Dot Com is auditioning? How dumb are you? Is there anything in there?
Pete: The more people you add, the less effective it is. Like a neighborhood dad garage band.
Liz: Come on it’s just Dot Com.
Pete: It won’t be, because this is what you’re doing.
Liz: I’m driving a bus?
Pete: No… you’re opening the flood gates.
Liz: With a horizontal wheel?
Pete: Flood gate wheels are horizontal!
It was all under control. Now everyone's going to want in, and we can't stop them.
Frank: Hey what the Frack, nerds?! Pete told me you were only looking at outside people. Now Dot Com’s auditioning?
Liz: Frank, I know you’re a stand up, but…
Frank: No but, I want in. And I’m not changing my act to fit your stupid show.
Liz: Mm-hmmm


Brian Williams:  Liz! There you are. I heard about this whole Dot Com thing. I’m not saying I want to audition, but Mickey Monorulo from Scotch Plains New Jersey might be interested. Hey forget about it.

Jenna and Tracy’s Plan

Jenna: Actor emergency!
Tracy: Where?
Jenna: Pete and Liz want to hire this guy Jayden. He’s evil, Tracy!
Tracy: He’s evil Tracy?! Oh he’s evil coma Tracy
Pete and Liz are rigging it to make sure he gets the job. Do you know who else they're auditioning? A one-man band, some old Australian, Dotcom...
Tracy: Dot Com! Oh no. I once saw that guy become Trigorin, at the Weslyan Art Space. That guy’s good.
Okay, then we have to make sure neither one of them gets the job by finding better actors ourselves
Tracy: Good idea, let’s go.


Jenna and Tracy Street Recruiting


Jenna: If you are a funny gay man, please get into the car.
Tracy: I repeat. All funny gays into the car!
Man: I’m not gay. I’m Bi-larious!
Jenna: Black people, I know I’ve said some terrible things about you in print. But I come here today on a mission of piece.
Tracy: We need the funniest fool here to step forward.

Grizz: Good luck on your audition. You’re going to get it.
Dot Com: Don’t jinx me.
Grizz: Walter, you’re going to get it. I made you something.
Dot Com: It’s a seagull!



The Audition

Tracy: Hey Dot Com nice to meet you.
Dot Com turns to Grizz: Why would he say that to me?


Dot Com: Growing up in Bed-Stuy, there was a certain music to the way people talked. ''Hey, Papi, what you doing?'' I'm sorry. Can I start over?  Someone really messed with my head right before I came on.



Must see-  episode  4.04 -Audition Day 30 Rock to see who became the newest cast member of TGS.. #30rock is on 7 days a week. Check TV listings

Facebook Page Kevin Brown aka Dot Com


Profile- UptownKevinBrown


Your tags:


Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Recipient's email address:
Personal message (optional):

Your email address:


Type your comment below:
I have always been an avid fan of that show. I believe Tina Fey is one of the greatest comedy writers of this century; she is brilliantly clever. Also we must give it to Alec Baldwin, he does a fantastic job. Great post. R