O'Really?'s Blog

Think of it as "cartouche lite"
JULY 9, 2010 9:53AM

What's Next for Lindsay, LeBron and Other Celebrities?

Rate: 38 Flag

Now that Lindsay Lohan and LeBron James have taken our attention away from our national disaster pathetic lives, I wonder who and what we'll be fixated on as the next most important "thing" to keep us in denial preoccupied.

It seems we don't really have enough interesting devastation diversions going on in the real imaginary world of celebrity and pop culture and God knows we are nothing without TMZ a good train wreck.

Here are a couple of headlines and stories that might capture our imagination in the coming weeks so we won't have to think about what the fuck we are going to do about our country how screwed insignificant our lives really are:

Larry King will announce that he is going to marry himself.  Right after he announces his new talk show that will air on the yet to be formed network NDY which stands for Not Dead Yet.  

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/Entertainment/images-2/larry-king.jpg

 
Naomi Campbell will be arrested for domestically abusing herself with a blood diamond that she has no receipt for or recollection of buying.  It's purported that Ms. Campbell just likes the feeling of “pressing charges”.
         http://www.babble.com/CS/blogs/famecrawler/2009/05/naomi-campbell-pregnant.jpg
             

LeBron James will be accused of causing the Cuyahoga River to catch fire once again in his native Cleveland, forcing Michael "Brownie" Brown back into the national spotlight so he can do a heck of a job with the clean up.  Not.

                 http://hondajvx.files.wordpress.com/2008/06/lebron-james.jpg                    

Remember Drew Peterson?  Sources tell me, that this coming Monday, Peterson will file for a marriage license  to someone who's already dead but whose body has not yet been discovered  just to keep his name in the media.

http://scrapetv.com/News/News%20Pages/usa/images-2/drew-peterson-mugshot.jpg

And poor Lindsay Lohan will file charges against the LAPD for damages caused to her roots while serving her 90 22 days for being nothing more than  a pimple on the ass of the movie making machine known as “celebrity”  complete waste of taxpayers’ time talent oxygen and air time.

                       http://www.twolia.com/blogs/zoboxrox/files/2009/10/lindsay-lohan.jpg

To everyone who has nothing better to do than follow this crap nonsense and to the people who are obsessed with only this kind of "news"or themselves, I have "The Cure for What Ails You" right here:

                           The Cure for What Ails You                                               "The Cure for What Ails You"
                                    48" x 36" Acrylic and Latex on Canvas
                                                   © Patricia A. Smith

So listen up Paris Hilton, Mel Gibson,  and all you other naughty celebrities.  You have some stiff competition in the coming days.  In the meantime, take two STFU and call me in the morning.

 

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Comments

Type your comment below:
In total agreement. (But the stories you list are still funny.)
You know, I behave nearly as badly as all those people, but no one ever notices.
Excellent post.
rated
Funny! Clever! Wise! And a great painting! All those celebs deserve to be mentioned. But LeBron most of all. The others seem to accidnetally get caught making an ass of themselves; Lebron bought prime time to do it. That's tought to top! And to think, O'; He'll soon be one of us. {{{R}}}
I love it, these stories are on the cutting edge. I bet Paris and Mel are busy earning your favor.
Yeah, who's next, right? Anything but stare into the abyss. This is exactly it!
According to King's publicist, his marriage will be a very private ceremony.
Love the 'blah blah blah'.
Unfortunately, STFU seems to be the one drug that Lindsay and her ilk don't indulge in.
Or better yet, take two STFU and DON'T call me in the morning. Ass pimples, indeed.
only two STFUs?
somebody up above said to take two and snort one.
I hope King's honeymoon night will be even privater.
Ah O'Really, your fertile brain is working overtime! R
My oh My. You are so so right, girl.
I forgot. Isn't there some kind of spill somewhere?
Like the Red Queen said, "off with their heads!"
Love the sense of humor and spin on these news headline items.
I am happy to say that I don't know who about half the pictured personalities are, and sorry to say that I do know the other half, and that what you wrote about them is funny. And your painting is nice too!
Where can I get STFU in bulk? I'd like to hand them out like candy.
LeBron, Lindsay Lohan, Larry, HiLton, MeL. I blame the letter "L." It's on a serious media-whore bender these days.
Love that Patricia A. Smith's artwork! _r
Nicely ranted. But you made me think about Drew Peterson--and now I have to remember to forgot him again.
I hope Peterson can afford to hire someone to carry that baggage sitting under his eyes.
Love it when you are here. rrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Who are these "people"? Blah, blah blah sums it up in aces. Well done, Patricia! Rated
O'Really, for a moment you had me worried. At first I feared you would satirize celebrity-gawking out of existence. But as I read on I felt assured that come what may, we are sure to get out daily fix of trivial trash. Whew!
Excellent. =o)

Hell, put every Girl Gone Wild in Hollywood on ice. Or else put hazmat suits on them and put them to work cleaning the beaches on the gulf coast.
You are awash in grief for the Gulf and yet aware of all the silly hoopla. Me too.
Oh so fucking funny. Thank you. We are diverted from the real news with such stupid, inane tactics, all like train wrecks or an oil spill, more like the World Cup. Who in the US paid any attention to it? Uganda rioted over it.
"It's purported that Ms. Campbell just likes the feeling of “pressing charges”.

She thought they said impressive discharges.

(Isn't that Patricia a great painter? Love her work.)