Here are my responses to Mark Trost's Bullshit-Free 25 Meme Open Call:

1.  Lingerie & pajamas. Bullshit. What do you really sleep in?

Bed.  Naked.


2. What’s the one thing in your refrigerator you’re goddamned angry about if someone touches it?

My Reggiano Parmigiano, Marcona Almonds and the combination to the safe.


3. What’s the one thing you do so well that when you’ve done it, you stand back and say, “YES!”

Bowl that ball directly into the gutter.  I do it with enthusiasm and accuracy almost every single time.  And, something else.


4. What’s your one piece of clothing that you want to wear everyday and you would if you could and not get stared at?

A really fine quality cotton man’s large, lightly starched (preferably white) shirt with nothing underneath. 


5. What scares the shit out of you?

Sarah Palin.  I can’t bring myself to really think of her as a “who”.


6. What is your favorite physical feature? The one you look at and think, “damn, that’s good!”

My smile. 


7. Have you ever actually read the Bible?

Not even once.


8. Who is the most overrated celebrity / personality / politician / human being to ever walk earth?

There are too many to mention.   Naming them is counterproductive, isn't it?

9. What is your favorite physical activity?

Flossing and kissing.  In that order.  If I have to floss after kissing, something is definitely wrong.


10. What is the worst concert you’ve ever seen? And folks, if you can name more than one - rethink your definition of worst. Worst. Go.

Barry Manilow.  I had to go as part of my job at a radio station.  Any questions?

11. You control the world’s radio station for the length of one song. (One song for God’s sake. One. Draw your line.) What tune do you play?

Baz Lurhmann’s “”Everybody’s Free to Wear Sunscreen”.


12. First kiss. Yeah, we know your Mother kissed your head. We get all that. First real - OMG that shook my knees - kiss. You tasted - you wanted more.

Seth J when I was 12.   On his driveway, sitting against the garage (with his tongue).  Sounds just like a game of “Clue”, doesn’t it?


13. You can have anything to drink on earth. What one beverage is your favorite?

I’m going to Zul’s for some of that Louis Roederer Cristal, but I still have a few bottles of 1978 Dom Perignon that I won’t complain about.

14. What film do you love so much that when you view it you follow the dialogue in your head?

“Harold and Maude”.


15. Okay. You’re damn tired. It’s been a long day. You want to go to bed but you don’t have any sheets on it. Do you make it? Or throw yourself on it?

Make it.  I love my sheets.  I'm not scared, but I love Frette.

16. Who is the funniest person ever?

Tie:  Jon Stewart and Lucille Ball.


17. If you could have one more look at a person, who would you choose?

Him.


18. There are no health issues: no diabetes, no cholesterol, no high blood pressure. We don’t have to gnaw fiber. You can eat what you want without consequence. What’s for breakfast?

A very lean, melty, well-toasted Reuben sandwich with extra Thousand Island dressing and steak fries.


19. Yeah. You can have him/her and there are no consequences. Who? Who is your ideal partner?

The Dalai Lama.  Or Harpo Marx.  If I can’t have George Clooney or Jon Stewart.

20. What is your deal breaker in a friendship (not a romantic relationship)?

Self-absorption.


21. If you could effortlessly change one aspect of yourself, what would you choose?

Physically?  My knees.  Internally:  My ability to still get hoodwinked.


22. If you can banish one thing from the earth - what would you chose? And come on - let’s let beauty pageant contestants handle hatred, poverty, and racism. What one thing do you want removed without consequence?

Money. 


23. What’s the best product? What item do you recommend to people?

Vitameatavegamin.  Tastes just like candy!


24. If you could, would you live on a desert island? In a monastery? Do you like solitude or do you like people surrounding you?

I could live in either and be perfectly content.  I adore silence and cannot go for very long stretches without it.  People are another question.  

25. What is your best childhood memory?

Practicing for hours in the studio rink and the sound of my blades crunching on the best ice ever.