5:53 am:  Cartouche has woken up.

                  Three people like this.

5:56 am:  O’Really? is thinking about what she has to do today coffee.

5:58 am:  29 people think they have great ideas for a clever post and 211 of them believe that the one they write today will earn an EP.  Unfortunately, all but three of these people are actually awake and only six of them ever write anything more interesting shorter than “War and Peace”.

6:01 am:  Emily Holleman is laughing.  In her sleep.

                  Thomas Rogers likes this and remembers when he used to do this all day long. He is too busy playing Farmville to notice.

6:06 am:  msnbc.com has formed the group, “Doesn’t Julian Assange Look Like Some Old Fashioned East German Spy in need of a Good Lay Night’s Sleep and a Haircut?”

                  Four people who often appear on the cover of OS that most people don’t read like this.

6:07 am:  Gwool is looking in the mirror and wondering if msnbc.com is really talking about him.

                  Ann Nichols, Cranky Cuss, Tom Cordle, Bobbot, john blumenthal and Veronica Lodge Wolf are assuring him they are not.

                  Bernadine Spitzsnogel, cartouche and two others are not so sure.

6:09 am:  Someone is considering merging flouncing.

                  Joan Walsh, Kerry Lauerman and Emily Holleman are laughing behind our backs saying to each other, “HA!  What else is new?”

6:21 am:  Nobody has been tagged by anyone for anything.

                  cartouche likes this.

6:38 am:  The “Most Recent” tab with posts from the past 12 hours reflects a flurry of activity and distress over the future of OS’s demise.

                  Emily Holleman is secretly happy about all these posts.  It gives her two hours of extra sleep far fewer choices for her cover, but takes the strain off her tired eyes and gives her plenty of time to look for a new job in case the rumors are true.     

                   Con Chapman and Nikki Stern like this.            

7:14 am:  839 people have taken their meds.

                  237,603 people like this.

7:15 am:  Catherine Forsythe has formed the group “Where People Might be Blogging Next and How to Format your Paragraphs Properly.”

                  A lot of people like this.

7:16 am:  1341 people have forgotten to take their meds.

                  Tink, Safe_Bet’s_Amy and Stellaa really like this.

7:18 am:  Catherine Forsythe has quickly blogged, “Where People Might be Blogging Next and How to Format Your Paragraphs Properly.”

                  Jonathon Wolfman, trig palin, Linda Seccaspina and 812 other people like this.  Only 43 of them have rated or commented.

7:21 am:  The squirrel is considering coming out of retirement.

                 Everyone who remembers the squirrel likes this.

7:29 am:  cartouche and 636 others are waiting to see if joan h, Steve Blevins or Beth Mann are going to post on OS this morning before deciding to hit publish liking each others' updates on Facebook.

7:57 am:  814 people are disappointed to discover that their clever post from last night has not earned an EP.  739 of them have decided to try again right away and then three more times before tomorrow.

                  12,823 people don’t like this.

8:01 am:  Someone nobody ever heard of has flounced and returned twice in the last 49 minutes. Certainly not a record.  It's how many times in a week or a month that counts.

                  Nobody likes this.

8:08 am:  Three people continue to comment on a post that is months weeks old.

                  Those three people like this.  A lot.

8:17 am:  Emily realizes that there was nothing on TV last night to blog about and is now forced to award EPs read posts about dirty laundry and a dog with two legs.

         The dog with two legs likes this.

         Four other people decide to write posts about even more dirty laundry and their limb-challenged pets. 

8:18 am:  Somebody has posted an “Open Call for Limb Challenged Pets”.

                  62 people respond with enthusiasm.  62 people complain in private chats and PMs.  A house divided. 

8:22 am:  One non-meta meta writer posts about how ridiculous this and any other Open Call is and gets more ratings and comments than all the posts from the other two camps combined.  This non-meta Meta post blows every other post out of the water and causes a flame war.

                  Emily Holleman likes this more than you know.

8:24 am:  Freaky Troll settles everyone down and all is right with the world.

8:27 am:  Cartouche decides to write a post that reflects life on Open Salon in the form of Facebook updates.

                  O’Really? likes this and steals this idea as her own because the strikethrough feature is easier on Firefox. 

8:28 am:  O’Really? hits publish and then starts her real day.

                  Lea Lane, L in the Southeast and eight others spill coffee on their laptops.