"Hey, it's me, I need some money."  He didn't bother to ask how she was, it was his mom.  "Rent and car insurance are due this week, and my paycheck won't cover it." 

"I thought you had a good job over at Windows World?" she asked, sounding exasperated.   He winced, and got upset.  He hated that tone.

"I had stuff to buy, things are expensive.  It's not like I ask you for much."

"You ask me every month, Ted."

"Well, you give Rachel lots of money, it's not fair to play favorites."

"Rachel lives with me and has a one year old child she is raising without a husband."

"It's not my fault she got her stupid ass knocked up."

"Ted, it's your sister, how can you talk like that?"

"All's I'm saying is that you should be helping us both out, equally.  We're both your kids."

"Ted, you're 27 years old. It's my money.  If I want to help your sister out, it's my choice.  And it's my grandbaby.  I'd do the same for you."

"I don't want to have kids, does that mean she gets all my money? Fuck her."

"Ted, don't talk to me like that.  I'll give you twenty dollars when I see you next.   When are you coming by to help me with the lawn stuff I asked about?"

"Ma, I don't have time for that, I'm a busy.  I have a job and important stuff to do. Just give me the money and stop whining about it."

"Ted, I didn't raise you to be a freeloader."

"But Rachel can be one?"

"She has a baby whose father died in Iraq.  You really shouldn't get started on this again."

"Well, I am just saying I don't think it's fair you don't support us equally."

"Ted, you didn't move out until last year.  I have paid for you your entire life.  Now I am asking you to help out some, help your family."

"If you needed a man's help, Ma, you shouldn't have cheated on dad."

"I didn't cheat on your father Ted.  He left us."

"Well, you sure were hooking up with Jake right away."

"You know what? That's none of your damn business.  If you're not going to help, I'm not giving you money."

"Fuck you," and he slammed his fingers into the cell phone.  Bitch.  She's always on me about something.  Bullshit my ass about Jake.  She was shacking up with him before dad's stuff was out of the house.  Maybe I should call him and ask, he thought.  Nah, maybe next week.  He's probably still in Mexico.

Ted looked up to see his roommate's girlfriend April saunter into the room wearing boy shorts and a tshirt, eating a bowl of cocoa puffs cereal.  She sat on the couch, flipping the channels on the tv, not even asking him if he was watching.  He wasn't, but she didn't know that.  She called to Steve who was in the kitchen still, chewing her food.  Cow.  

"Who was that?" she asked. "We could totally hear you yelling in the other room."

"What, did I interrupt your lovemaking? Maybe you two could keep it down a little, I wouldn't have to shout." April raised her eyebrow and slurped some cereal.  Steve came in wearing just his boxers, also carrying cereal and a coke.  

"Dude, don't talk to my girlfriend like that. It's disrespectful."

"Disrespectful? I can hear you fucking in there, this apartment is not that big."  Ted slumped into the chair, looking at his cell phone and thinking of who he could ask for some cash. "Put on some music or put a sign on the door or something.  It's gross."

"Dude, I just told you, shut the fuck up."

"Well then keep it to yourself.  I don't wanna hear it." He got up and stomped out of the room, except that it was hard to stomp on plush carpet.  It was also hard to slam his door, so he just opened and closed it really hard a couple times before laying on his bed.  Asshole.  Thinks he's so fucking great that he's getting laid all the time.  And with what?  She's no prize.  April was a hussy, just using Steve for sex and good times.  She had no self respect.  Ted hated girls like that, they were so full of themselves.  Like it's hard to find a guy to fuck.  Any bitch can do that. 

Ted thought about the chubby girl at the cafe and hoped he wouldn't run into her there again, she was so uptight.  It's not like he had insulted her or anything, just making friendly conversation.  Chivalry was dead, for sure, because how can girls say they want that and then turn around and call a guy a creep for helping them out? God she was stupid.  And that barista, Liv.  What kind of name was that? She must be part of that new hipster trend, all those trendy weird names.  Liv and Oscar and Jody.  Ted was a solid name, really masculine, no one would ever think he was a fag with a name like Ted.  Even at the gym, the faeries kept away from him because they could smell how hetero he was.  He'd see them checking him out, when he was lifting.  He was there six times a week, hard to miss, the tightest abs in the room.  Who was that new chick they just hired at the front desk?  Maybe he'd see what she was up to after shift.  

Ted finished his jerk off into a dirty sock, and crumbled it in a ball.  He tossed it in the hamper and then changed into his workout clothes.  He liked to arrive already dressed, his new shirt really showed the cut of his delts nice.  Jen, that was her, the new desk girl. He'd be sure to give her some of the old Ted charm, most of the ladies there couldn't keep away from him.  It was embarrassing for the manager, whatshisface, Jeff, that's why Ted wasn't supposed to talk to them.  Jealousy.  What a lame excuse.  Maybe he could slip her his number when Jeff wasn't at the front.  What a dildo.