My sweetie is a handsome man. I noticed him sitting at a party, by himself, thinking "Wow, he's handsome, he's probably married". His two kids were there, and I didn't look around for a Mrs. Instead, I mingled with others, and he walked across the room and sat next to me, and started talking. Introduced his kids. Married men don't do that, and he asked for my number.
I didn't stay with him because he was cute, our relationship didn't work out at first, but his beautiful smile did plenty to cut past the crushingly awkward dating misfires. We became friends instead, swapping out "trades" for things he could do (computer repair, photography) for things I could do (the best massage in town). He didn't smile much back then, but when he did, I went weak in the knees. Lucky him. It led to home made food, swapping cat sitting while we traveled, and eventually a conversation about sharing a place (both of us needing cheap rent and a roomie we could stand). Love blossomed, and now it is three happy years later. I still get weak in the knees when he smiles. He gets weak in the knees when I smile, and is easily dazzled by my blue eyes.
What's funny is that whenever he meets a friend or family member (female), they very commonly remark right off the bat "Oh, he's really handsome." My aunt called him Handsome John for the first year (as we knew another, less handsome John). Now he does photography and computer repair work for her, she gets to enjoy his company, and he is still a great guy. When it's your office mates at a Christmas party, there is the initial "Oooh" and then the week after when you hear how NICE he is as well as handsome. Now, I am a fairly attractive woman, so it's not like he's out of my league. I also have dated enough pretty boys who were not nice that looks cannot be the only thing. John is also the least vain person I know, and just smiles when I say this to him (I always tell him when he is complimented, with a sparkle) and then promptly forgets.
I am not a mother, but I am of the age when women start trying to regain the attention of the younger mens. I occasionally have a younger man flatter me, but I am no cougar and I am no MILF and I am no fool. Demi and Madonna had their work cut out for them, and we know it is not an equal opportunity world when it comes to marriage and constant companionship. I am a few years younger than John, which is the way he prefers it. Most days, I can't tell, my world and life experience is vastly broader than his. Our high school years line up enough that we share the same preferences for alternative music, though he leans more Industrial and I lean more New Wave. As our relationship is still young, I am also not trying to recapture the young years of passion we used to have.
With our relationship comes two daughters of his, and I get along with both (as you may have noticed or not in my Almost Stepmother Chronicles). The older, Alex, is a girl of her times, open and edgy and very fluid with the sex and dating scene. Still mostly only dates boys, but the stigma of liking girls is no longer in her generation. She has many male friends, almost all of whom would be happy to have a chance to hook up with her or be her boyfriend. She is almost never single. But, she is almost also never in a mutually monogamous, planning for marriage and babies relationship. Girls aren't always looking for that, and neither are boys.
Alex visited us last night, with her guy friend, and we had a great dinner. Her friend has a reputation as a player, and he spent his conversation talking about his preference for the much, much older ladies. He is no longer allowed to meet his friends' moms, and his mother won't let him meet her friends anymore either. He is charming and very confident. What was a bit odd, for me, was the changing awareness and openness with which we talked about it. Alex spoke of how often her female friends have expressed a major crush on her dad. Her friend spoke of the time he made a play for her mom, and her mom thought it was funny. I said I didn't see anything happening between us, but he could still come for dinner sometimes with her if she wanted to bring him (he has a car). He said we could text, if I want. I declined.
My friend has a dad that I find charming and attractive. He is married to the woman who was his secretary when he was married to my friend's mom. They have their ups and downs, but when they visit I sometimes end up going out to dinner with them. I joke with her, you know I have a crush on your dad, if we were both single.... and my friend laughs and says, everyone has a crush on my dad. It's been going on since high school.
My father was charming and a player, but none of my friends ever so much as suggested he was handsome or having a crush. I couldn't see it myself, I just had to hear it from the smitten (and older women, the babysitters and divorcees) how handsome my dad was. I am also glad I never had to go through this. John laughs it off, and then we have to tell them to can it, because it's just a bit weird and wrong to have to tell your kids' friends that you don't want to date them. Or just hook up. For coffee or texing or something.
I complain to John that his friend's never say "Your girlfriend is hot" to him, but we also know they aren't tacky like that. One of them hits on me, all the time, as is his reputation, and I see right through it. He also has a much, much older wife who he complains about. Funny thing is, though, she has had five husbands and is a bit more of a MILF that way. He is neither a player nor very charming, and I think he is luckier than he knows. She is still in love with him.
I'll just have to hang on to telling John he is my arm candy, if he runs out of things to talk about at boring doctor events. It keeps me smiling, anyhow, to know I am dating a DILF.