Out on a limb

Out on a limb

Out on a limb
Location
Germany
Birthday
August 10
Bio
My goal it was to reach a star... I spread my wings, but flew not far I hoped to make it past the rim. Instead I'm stuck... out on a limb

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AUGUST 2, 2011 3:48PM

THE 45TH ST. CAFE (THREE STRIKES AND YOU'RE OUT)

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 This weeks Wednesday Friction prompt, was to write a story with someone crying, and someone telling a Joke!  I hope you enjoy.

Three strikes and you're out!

Any idea why she's crying?”

Not the slightest!”

In her mid thirties, brown hair, brown eyes, jeans, blouse, cowboy boots; and crying her heart out, in my corner booth. I'd been watching her, for thirty minutes now. Soaking up half the napkins from the table dispenser, just blowing her nose and dabbing at the flood of tears rolling down her cheeks.

So why’d you let her sit in my booth?”

I was in the kitchen when she came in John-J,” Fran said in self defense. “By the time I got to the table, she'd spilled enough tears to fill up lake Michigan.”

I whispered to Fran “ I hate it when women cry.” She was making this eerie wailing sound reminiscent of a WWII air raid siren.

Walter had been sitting with us the whole time, but had refrained from making any comments. Then, without announcing his intentions, he vacated the counter stool sauntering his way over to Monsoon Sally. He'd stood at the table until, between sobs she'd gestured, allowing him to sit in the booth across from her. Fran and I were shocked, when inconsiderate, unsympathetic Walter, had affectionately reached out taking hold of her hands.

She was still crying, as Walter began saying something inaudible from our place at the counter. The woman had just about stopped crying as Walter ended whatever he'd been saying to calm her down. Then, drawing in a reservoir of air, Monsoon Sally began wailing and crying all over again. I had the impression it was even intenser than before. Fran and I exchanged glances, saying nothing.

The scene of Walter, taking her hands and Sally almost reaching a non wailing dry spell, repeated it self two more times. Eventually, Walter released her hands, and sauntered back to where we both had been watching his heroic attempts at consoling the distraught woman.

Walter, that was so compassionate of you. So unbelievably heart warming to witness you do something like that. You have definitely climbed higher up the ladder of my respect.” Then Fran rested her hand on one of Walter's.

So what were you telling her?” I wanted to know.

Oh nothing much, just a few jokes.”

JOKES?!” Fran almost shouted it.

Yep jokes.” She looked like she needed some cheering up, so I told her some jokes.”

Fran snatched away her hand in one, quick repulsive motion. “I don't believe you. You're not that tactless. You couldn't be!”

You saw how it almost worked. Then, every time I popped the punch line on her, she just went back into hysterics.”

Fran rolled her eyes in disbelief, than left me alone, with Walter.

I searched his eyes, not knowing what to ask first. “So did you tell the one about the elephant, the skunk and the Pygmy?”

I sure did, but I'm not sure if she didn't get it or didn't like it. Anyway she didn't laugh that's for sure.”

Slight pause...

Did you tell her the one about the Pope and Jimmy Carter in the brothel?

Yep.”

And?”

Nothing. Not even a little snicker.”

Another slight pause...

How about your best one, with the talking duck?”

Yep, and that's when she told me to leave her alone. Go figure.”

Some people just don't appreciate a good joke when they hear one.” I said, trying to cheer him up.

A longer pause.......

Any idea why she's crying?”

Not the slightest.” “Although if you ask me, it's no joking matter.”

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Comments

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OK--you've initiated the launch sequence of my curiosity: I've simply got to hear the joke about the Pope and Jimmy Carter in a brothel. I know Jimmy told Playboy he had lust in his heart, though I've yet to hear a Pope confess as much.
Now that's funny. R
As a follow up, you should tell Sally's side of the story. Maybe she just lost her job as gag writer for a popular tv talk show host.
Jerry: Believe me it's not all that good, remember Sally didn't even snicker! Thanks for reading and rating.

Trudge164: Glad you enjoyed it. Thank you for reading and commenting.
This was great! I, too, am curious about Monsoon Sally and the pope joke. R!
Oh, Boooo! Now I'm crying! I love "Monsoon Sally" and the way you animated her very visual character. And of course, I stood with the men, exiled to the perimeter of a woman's tears like a coyote outside campfire light.
R
Jaime: Thanks for coming by and commenting

ASH: It's always safer by the campfire!
That has got a terrific shape to it. Set up, set up...and unexpected payoff...no punch line. A+++
Algis: Thanks for reading.

Stone: Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for reading and rating.
Out on a limb ~ perhaps Monsoon Sally would have liked the old joke that involved a priest, a young boy, Jimmy Carter, and Henry Kissinger in an airplane that was having engine trouble!
I'm with Jerry, the punch lines would have been nice, hah!
I’m outraged!!

How dare you imply that the Pope has lust in his heart?!!!

I’m sure that his lust, like Jimmy Carter’s, is about 18 inches lower down.......

(ᴼᴥ̃)

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This is a cute way to use the prompt! The reader is left not knowing what the joke was or the reason for the tears. Well done!
Clever. But like Jerry, I was waiting for the joke.
Designanator: You're right, I'm sure she would of enjoyed that one.

Scanner, Miguela: I think Susie captured what I was after! Having everything in out in the open, does not always make for an interesting story.

Susie: You best described my intentions with this story. Thanks for reading and commenting.
She just crashed her mustang, precipitating her change of name, that's why she's crying, right? I saw the whole thing; the pope and Jimmy Carter can vouch for me; we were all sitting together, although I take the 5th on where. Fun scene; great control of voice as we've come to expect at the 45st café.
Sorry I couldn't read and comment earlier - my in-laws showed up for an unexpected overnight visit and I haven't been on OS the last two days. I love how you incorporated the prompt into your 45th Street Cafe series - it made for a wonderful episode! And I think I know that talking duck joke.....
You did it! This short story speaks for the tradition of short story writing.
I love people who laugh right out loud at a good one. Guess the times are a changing....Good one!