When you find what you were never searching for...

Outside Myself

Outside Myself
West Coast Body, East Coast Heart, California,
January 19
Don't even have to knock...come on in.
I am now 47 and perfectly OK with that. I've been a mom for over 14 years now. I live a rather simple yet difficult life of trying to make sure my daughters are polite, well-educated and know they are loved beyond question. I do my best to give my family whatever they need. And I'm trying to take care of myself. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx I am infinitely trying to make people happy, make people laugh, make people feel good about themselves. I compliment often, but only with sincerity. I spend way too much time thinking about what might be the "right" thing to do in any given situation. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx This is a personal journey for me. I have grown in ways I didn't know were possible. AND AN UPDATE: Don't forget your worth. This speaks to everyone, not just me. xoxoxo ~~~~ And thx, B. My heart was beginning to thaw but your beautiful friendship has melted it. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx FURTHER UPDATE: - B, darling, you have brought me love and peace. You sent the words, "Be gentle with yourself." I am able to do so only because you have been gentle with my heart. I love you, soul mate.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx And now, it's been 18 months... So incredible to recall where I was and where your love has taken me...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx And now, two years have passed since those first simple PMs...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd now, three...xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxAnd now FIVE!!! :-)


SEPTEMBER 11, 2010 10:05PM

San Bruno . . . My hometown

Rate: 37 Flag


An explosion lives in my soul right now. 




I grew up in San Bruno.  Went to school.  Played sports.  Had Homecoming and Prom in high school.  Walked to the 7-11.  Slid down the hills on cardboard boxes.  Had my first kiss behind the junior high school. Walked the trails by Skyline. Learned to drive on those streets.  Drank beer at Crestmore High School. Dislocated my wrist on the tree swing up in the big eucalyptus trees...


How do I explain everything I did as I grew up?  How? 


My hometown. 


My parents live there.  One mile away from the explosion. I still live nearby.



I have relatives on the very street where the explosion occurred. Terrifying.


I have other family in San Bruno still and many, many friends.


Having just had my high school reunion, there has been a bond recreated. And for all of its drama and immaturity, Facebook allowed me to connect with many of my friends immediately, and get updates as to their homes and those of their parents and siblings. Some were lucky; some were not.


As the stories come in of the deaths, I can't hold back the tears. Every time I think of this tragedy, I am nauseated.


Please, if any of you are in a position to donate to this special, special town, please do what you can. 


If you pray, please do.


If you simply want to know that this place isn't just some random town to everyone, please know that.


Because it's not just some random town to me...



San Bruno is my hometown. 












~so very sad~ 

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I'm sorry baby...I know you're hurting right now.
Oh my goodness, prayers in the offing. Thanks for letting us know of your connection, and I hope that your friends and relatives are relatively unscathed as much as they can be. R
I'm praying OM, I grew up in San Carlos and have people currently in San Bruno. Another left a message today so they are fine, thank God. Still it is my old home area and have many memories from there. I have been tense since it happened, all that area is in my prayers. As you are now too.
This is beyond belief. PG & E will be in a world of hurt, as it should be, for some time ahead. It's a travesty beyond words. It's horrific. I grew up near here. Alameda de las Pulgas! I'm right there with you. Appreciate your sharing of this. So sad, yes.
So very sorry, OM. We get so numb to the news these days. Fires in Detroit, Colorado and now San Bruno. We often forget that these are real lives and real people involved. Mothers and fathers, friends and neighbors. As horrible as this is for you, I'm glad you wrote about it. It reminds me to not be so dismissive of human tragedy just because I'm not personally involved. Thank you for that.
I am so sorry, my dear. Words fail me.
My heart goes out to those affected. Please know I will be praying for them all.
I glad your family was safe. I am so sorry, it was such a horrible thing to happen.
You and yours have my prayers as well as all of the town. I was shocked to learn of it and angry that the smell had persisted for so long without the utility uncovering a cause. Hugs!!
I am sorry, OM...love to you...xox
Oh, my goodness! I am so sorry for you as this is one scary deal. I hope, well I hope.
I see it on the news every day barely 30 miles away and I swear I can feel it in the air.
Nothing but prayers and words of love
I'm so sorry OM for your pain. I will be thinking of you, and of the people in the town of San Bruno.
Smithery ~ I know you do, darling... Thank you, my love.
Thank you to everyone here. My heart has been heavy and the news tonight of a mother and daughter losing their lives simply put me over the edge. Your compassion and kindness goes a long way in making my heart feel warmer. Thank you for listening to my tears.
It's my daughter-in-law's hometown, too, but all her family has left since her parents followed her here.

I'm so sorry for all of you, it is tragic.
Oh my, it is not abstract to you or many, it is a real place, not just news clip. My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry, and hope that this tragedy is resolved and learned from. So sad.
i'm so sorry. my prayers are with the entire town and their friends and families. i'm waiting to hear from a friend who has family in the area.
I know San Bruno and spent a little time there when I worked in SF.
It is a lovely area on the peninsula. I am so sorry OM. I was already saddened by that tragedy, but now it's almost gotten personal. Prayers and hugs coming your way.

My heart goes out to your hometown. It's not so far from where I live. Thank you for the reminder that this could be any of our friends and family.

It was absolutely awful--the photographs look like a war zone. I'm so sorry people you know were affected by this horrible event. But I was reading the paper in absolute disbelief, this morning. One woman has nothing left but the clothes she was wearing and her purse, as she'd gone to the movies that evening. But if she'd stayed home, she'd almost surely be in the hospital now, and lucky not to be dead.So I'm so thankful that you're safe. But dismayed and grieved, naturally.
I grew up in Belmont and know the area. I'm so sorry, I hope everyone you know and love is okay. This was...unthinkable.
Just before moving to the Pacific Northwest, I lived in Redwood City and have friends in San Bruno. It's incomprehensible what's happened.
Once again, a sincere, humble thank you to those of you who are sharing your personal connections or simply trying to understand mine. I appreciate it so very much. I look forward to replying individually tomorrow morning. Hugs to you.
Added to my prayer list!!!

Rated and Tink Picked
Thinking of you and them.r
My heart goes out to all affected by this.....
Oh, sweetie. Big hugs to you.
What I saw on the live feed from San Bruno yesterday (and I can't believe I just wrote that -- sign of the global village times), was eerily similar to something that occurred in my own life. Horrifying to see; horrifying to experience. I hope your family is all OK.
This is a tragedy with horrible, eerie timing in view of 9/11. Let us know what we can offer to send and where. Glad you and your loved ones are safe but I worry for those who have lost homes and loved ones. Sad, sad story.
How horribly sad for everyone....
You will be in my thoughts and prayers!
I cant imagine the loss you must be feeling. Thank you for writing.
Such a terrifying thing to happen anywhere to anyone. Am thinking of you and of all affected.
I know what you are feeling. Not exactly, but close. I felt the same way when I turned on the tv after work to watch the World Series and first got nothing but static, then Roseanne (first time I ever saw the show) then finally a news broadcaster about the San Francisco Bay area earthquake and the pictures came pouring out and I sat there stunned, watching the section of the top flight of the Bay Bridge collapse, photo's of the Nimitz freeway collapsed where my brother-in-law and nephew drove to and from work every day...I went to Jr. High and High School right over the hills from Oakland, and all I could think was, "That's my home! My God! That's my home!"

Thank you for the reminder. I saw the news, but it really didn't sink in until I read your post.
My heart goes out ot you, OM. There are no words. God bless you and yours and all those people affected. {{{R}}}
Prayers? You got 'em. You are so right, though . . . this makes it hit home . . .
i'm so so sorry for the people there and this terrible loss. i hope your family is OK. and that you are, too, dear friend.
My best wishes to you.
My thoughts and prayers. Just a horrific event.
I am so late to this, but glad I bookmarked it. I can't truly understand how you feel. But I can imagine it. Bless you. And my prayers for all those who have lost so much. And I must add "needlessly," since PG&E has a notorious record of failure to do necessary maintenance and replacement of infrastructure.

You have all been so very kind in commenting on this post of mine. I know I'm not here much lately. There are more reasons than I can relate. And unfortunately, I got sick the morning after I wrote this, and still am, and so I just haven't been on my computer to say thank you. Or to reply individually to you, which I SO want to do. But please know that I think about the kindness in your words on this post and it makes a difference. I wish I could write more at this time. And as for assistance, the Red Cross has a special link on their website if anyone is so inclined. There are many who will need much help going forward.

Sorry this isn't as personal as I'd like. Miss y'all.