Although not directly related to my last post, I think I've come across my million dollar business idea:
Rental Rubber Rooms.
I know, it sounds crazy, but that's exactly the point - let me explain:
How many times have you had one of those days, one of those weeks, one of those months, when you just need to lose your shit for awhile - scream, cry, beat on things, whatever - but you don't want to scare the spouse/kids/co-workers/animals/911 responders? Rental Rubber Rooms to the rescue!
The premise is simple. We all encounter those times in our lives when "sanity breaks" just don't cut it. Maybe it's time for an "insanity break." Maybe, for an hour or so at a time, we need to just allow ourselves to freak the hell out - without the fear of involuntary commitment to a ward not of our choice, without the fear of scaring ourselves or others. Sort of like primal scream therapy, without having to listen to the screams of others.
I'm thinking something like this. (Image borrowed from KatsBits)
Ideally, these ought to be mobile, maybe like the inflatable castles at kids' birthday parties. But as a start, I'm thinking of mall and strip mall locations - solid, soundproof construction. Take a lunch hour and skip the gym. Check in at the front desk, sign a release, get a locker key and change into something strechy and comfortable.
Punch the walls to your hearts content. Slam your head against the floor. Scream and cry and weep. Flop around like a fish. Just let it all go for awhile. Get yourself a nice catharsis.
When finished, shower and change back into your street clothes - no one has to be any the wiser.
Rental Rubber Rooms to the rescue!
I'm also working on an expansion idea: Surely you've heard both sides of a story, ad infinitum/nauseum, and said to yourself: "I'd like to just lock those two in a room until they figure out a solution, or kill each other." Rental Rubber Rooms to the rescue! Such mediations could include straghtjackets . . . with velcro on opposite sides of the room . . .
Then again, maybe I'll sleep on it - the idea, that is.
TIP:
Enter the amount, and click "Tip" to submit!
Joan Wilder
Yawp
Roger Fallihee
michael reid rubenstein
amittaizero
ronnierayjenkins
Salon.com
Comments
I lost my shit. Lost it. Need rubber room. need rubbersiJBXAL IASVBhkjhd wliguxc iahujghx 9jkf37c13jrf98`dklfi2gfjbcoc
oh no...
Duane - I knew someone would need to go there, and I'm glad it was you! (I could use one too, frankly)
This was a great, hilariously funny post and I really enjoyed it. Thank you for the laugh I needed one..
Melissa: Yes, I think you’re onto a million-dollar idea, Owl.
Michael: And I love that 3D image you found. It’s so perfect.
Great idea for the times we're stuck in. You could do a brisk business in California alone.
Rated.
Shiral - I'm thinking of a sliding scale for the service, no mind left behind.
'dicea - Any time, Lady, any time. You can have a standing reservation.
Ha!
you could have a deal where you purchase 7 get the 8th one free
coffeegyrl - Excellent idea . . . keep 'em coming back for more!
Harry - Hmmmm . . . possibly. Perhaps we could do a large rubber room for the rubber bullets - a rubber firing range, if you will. I suspect that the release forms on that would be pretty tricky, though.
Harry - Exactly. But maybe we could market it as ninja dodgeball.
--rated--
Please email me when you have investors lined up.
If only Billy Mayes were alive to sell it :(
"I'm not just the owner, I'm a customer."
So, where do I sign up??
I have a coupon: 10% if you're gay/lesbian/bi/TG
In fact, I have several coupons!!
whew. sorry. running a fever once more and suddenly got crabby. anyway, very clever idea. you'd have ot move closer to the city though. cidiots need this more than people with space around them. love love lvoe
But I would rent one to throw my husband in on mornings like this when he wakes up giving the world hell. Is it wheelchair accessible?
You know, we rented one of those bouncy castles for a picnic at our place once. The didn't allow anyone over 100lbs in it, and that really pissed me off because I really wanted to test it out. I think you have the right idea. Bouncy Castles for adults. Yes. Rated for rubber.
Manchu - Billy Mayes . . . if I had his endorsement, I bet I could get investors - and he'd be the perfect pitchman! I will put you on the mailing list.
jenshrader - Another excellent idea, group rates . . . yes.
Boomer Bob - True, true - a bit small for we winged creatures. And we might have to start out in more urban settings. The expansion idea might work well out here though - couples therapy in straightjackets velcroed to opposite walls - could be a lot of fun!
Steve Blevins - I thought the seat added a little dignity.
scoubidou - Brilliant! We could sell franchises! And can't you just see the commercials: person boucing around screaming in the room, the session ends, they walk out calmly, "I'm not just the owner, I'm a customer!"
LuisG - Consider yourself signed up. As soon as I have some working prototypes, you can help me with the test-marketing.
Rob - I know, right? Sometimes relaxing just isn't enough. Sometimes we need a REAL vent.
scupper - I like that tag line, and I will place your name on the list.
Theo - Thank you for your excellent suggestions! You totally get this, a way to get away from all the intolerant judgy people, including ourselves, at times - and straightjackets are optional, except if we start group sessions. I think we'd definitely have to start in cities - higher population density and greater marketability.
poetTESS - I think wheelchair accessibility should be a priority, so I will add that requirement as we develop a prototype.
RavingBits - LOL, gotta do a little more Research and Development, and I'm there.
JK/Betty - I know, the bouncy castles, as they exist right now, are a bummer for adults . . . although I've been known to ignore their damn weight limits, just on principle.
Or,
send politicians to a mental ward?
Nail a sign on all Capital Hill's doors.
Condemned. Danger to Self & World!
Or,
Haul them to India to hop in the Ganges!
Group the whole batch with bloated goat!
Let 'um float with war's carrion dead bloke!
AshKW - We will absolutely offer frequent use discounts! I would consider it part of my service to humanity!
Sir Arthur - Excellent ideas, and yes, I think the free services to those with PTSD and bipolar is good, and fitting. I can see the expansion idea working well for the politicians, too.
Owk_Sat_Who? Hoot Tree!
Great idea. @ VAMC honor.
Honor policy. You get free!
Free Trojan La La lubricant!
Get one free rubber @ visit!
I'll rob thee rubber baskets!
Owl share Trojan-condoms!
If use properly Owl screech!
Please share used condoms!
Toss to members of Capital!
Politico's spread verbals ills!
A Hill transmits disease ales!
'Um are as pathetic as HIV ill!
'Um infected with a abnormal!
huh? Sick spiels, O bile, blood!
If they utter via lips? see a evil!
O de' seamen ate? 'Um rot corp!
Communicate? Lies. O gangrene!
It's so clear Ya all de' know thats!
Not You Owl. You spell wrong tho.
not sir, but sour. Oho, sour vinegar.
No Owl_? No used Trojan condoms.
How can people stand those rubbers?
Owl_Say_Who? I'll e- mail you three!
propholastic with Owl Hoot
Arthur - You are not sour, but sweet, sir; and you often make me smile.
Dorinda - As soon as I have some working prototypes, we'll be happy to deliver!
RATED for BIG LAUGHS
Oh, no, better yet, a "drink boy." I love those guys.
..."drink boy" ...
(seems you might be on to somethin' here, owly girl!
lorelei - We'll see what we can do . . . I know I could use that more often than not.
cartouche - Brilliant - I like the way you think big!
spotted-mind - Welcome - and unlike the Hotel California, you may stay as long as you need to, but leave whenever you're ready!
*one more please*
*returns to banging head on padded wall*
Sneedy - Sorry about the favorites thang, but happy to do what we can to provide the best in rubber room services. Feel free to ask for the server of your choice regarding beverages.
When I stopped through earlier (and found none of this here) I thought I wish owlypoo would post something just so I could say hi!
Hi!
spotted_mind - But of course, and please don't forget to recommend us to your friends!
Tijo - That's what I'm talking about!
{KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!}