Argh. Another video. I can't watch videos at work! I guess I have to wait. Oh, the anticipation!

Sorry Gwendolyn. Well now you have something else to look forward to once you knock off work :=)

Pleasure seeing this. Glad to hear Bob has rediscovered some liveliness. Don't trust a single any program meant to steer gays to a hetero-world--all moved, no doubt, with no true regard to "your" needs. This said, just as there are heteros that are "really gay," there may be some who are gay who are really (best understood as, perhaps on the way to being) hetero.

Lovely shoes btw.

Patrick. So glad you like the shoes. They belong to my friend Cary in Dublin. She took me and my boyfriend on a Northern Irish tour wearing those fetching boots.

In recent years, I've noticed an almost worshipful attitude toward masculinity in the church, that marginalizes women in some of the same ways as gay men. Who would believe that in a first world nation a woman of Sarah Palin's stature would have witches cast out of her by her minister?

But nobody's questioned whether making an idol out of masculine heterosexuality might be problematic, because most of the people behind the pulpit are straight men, or want people to think they are.

Megan, good observation. The Ex-Gay Movement is very much an anti-fem/woman movement. It blames strong mothers for making boys turn gay. It seeks to drive out the fem in gay men. It sacrifices straight women in the hope of saving gay men through marriages that nearly always fail. These beliefs arise out of the anti-woman churches that insists that wives must submit to their husbands, should not speak much in church or teach men.

Masculine heterosexual idol--yes, indeed.

Excellent analogies in your video. It was wonderful seeing this. Thank you.

ANOTHER excellent post! Thank you. My friends were deeply touched by the videos. I hope they wrote you. Will post this one for them too.

RL, thanks!
JRDog, thanks for sharing the videos. Not sure if I heard from your friends or not. Nothing has popped up in my in-box yet :-) I really like your blog. That poem you wrote about the closet--sweet.

One of the most insightful comments was written many years ago by Palia - that behind all homophobia is misogyny.
It's unfortunate and sad that this exists in many gay men as well, who perpetuate the false hierarchy of butch and denigrate so-called effeminate men.
I've met a sickening number of "tops only" who believe themselves superior to "bottoms." They fail to see their own insecurity, projection, and self-loathing have been internalized from the mainstream.
There has been a GREAT DEAL written on straight male power and symbolism thanks to several decades now of feminist theory and queer studies.

Got a question for you!
In 1990-92, I created 12 w/e retreats at remote mountain cabins for gays, lesbians, Mormons and any fundamentalists I could coax to come along. I urged everyone to read beforehand, Peck's "The Different Drum, Community-Making and Peace." I picked those groups because I wanted to waste no time with "pseudo-community" and get right into mixing it up and get to genuine community faster. 80 people participated over the 12 retreats. 35 G&L; 25 Mormons; 7 fundamentalists; and 13 folks just interested. Most retreats were 1/2 repeater alumni.
My question is based on this observation: it was much easier for the G&L & Mormons to connect, to discover community with each other than for the fundamentalists to do that with any of the others.
I came to believe it was because Mormons don't fear God and their religion isn't fear-based, except the mild anxiety that they might not get in on the "best" of 3 heavens. The fundamentalists were clearly motivated by fear. And that made all the difference.
And now my question: do you have any data/info on the philosophy behind Mormon gay-rehab? I'm guessing Mormons don't use self-loathing and fear to motivate change--like the NoMoHomo camp you describe.
PostScript: I quit doing those retreats because they moved me from gung-ho Mormon to quite gay-friendly, causing me to lose interest in being Mormon and causing me to lose credibility in my Mormon community. Gotta have an inside connection to believers to get them to trust they'd get value spending 48 hours with people they wish would go away.

"Love" in action...it's debatable. If those who started Love in Action believe they're acting out of "love" by shaming and isolating gay men and forcing them to live according to the hetero world's views because they're unacceptable as they are, I find that infinitely more perverted and awful a twisting of "love" than the love of two men or two women for one another. Seems to me they're asking OTHER people to live a lie for their comfort because they can't handle the truth.

Good for Bob and good for you for recognizing the harm done and putting yourselves on the path to emotional recovery. Accepting truth as a free person has to be better than living a lie and feeling imprisoned.